you've got to try this...

diana's bananas
Here's a new find we discovered at Target: Diana's bananas. When we got in the car we broke open the box and were immediately delighted. I even said, "I'm just going to pretend like this is the food I'm craving during this pregnancy so we can eat these nonstop for the next three months." To which Rory replied that I should just make them on my own...how hard could it be to freeze a chocolate covered banana?

My mind started racing, I told him I would call my version Banana BeccaAnna and we made jokes about Speggy and Meatballs from King of the Hill. I went home and froze some bananas, and the next day melted my chocolate. I learned a lot. Like how a frozen banana will immediately harden your melted chocolate. By the end, I was scooping chunks of partly solidified chocolate onto my bananas. I put them in the freezer, and let's be honest, they didn't look at all like Diana's bananas.

A few nights later I was running around telling Rory I needed to bring something to the women's potluck at our church. He opened the freezer and said, "you could bring these frozen turds."

All this to say, I am going to leave the chocolate-dipped bananas to Diana.

my weekend creative: color crayon abc's

I saw these molds used on another blog, and I loved the idea. They are Sillycone brand. I ordered them a week ago after realizing I had missed yet another 3 year-old's birthday...this time my niece, Ruby. It seems I have a lot of 3-year-olds in my life right now, all of them the kiddo of someone very dear to me which makes me want to give a gift to all of them...

I figured I could get the molds and then have this be my creative, thoughtful and inexpensive gift to be given to every kid for their birthday for ages to come. Paired with a blank art tablet, I think it's a pretty fun idea.

Craziest thing was that I have no old crayons in my life. I find this worthy to note, because within four years my guess is that I will have an abundance of old crayons surrounding me. But in this season I had to go out and purchase BRAND NEW crayons to be peeled and broken. There was no re in this recycling...

And here's the thing. Taking the paper off of brand new crayons is ridiculously hard. Crayola wants their paper wrapping to stay put. I had to use a knife on every single crayon, peeling the paper off. And then I used that knife to cut up the crayons into tiny pieces because if I broke them by hand, I could usually only get four parts per crayon.

All this to say: I thought this was going to be a quick project, but it took a lot of time. Thankfully I had the time today, but I way underestimated the prep work involved in this one.

Once I had the crayons peeled and broken into their letters, I placed them in the oven on a cookie sheet for 10 minutes at 275 degrees. This was a complete guess, and maybe there is an exact science to this, but it worked for me, and it just might work for you too.

When I took them out of the oven, it was obvious that the letters where I used two contrasting colors ended up more vivid and bright than the letters where I used two similar colors. I liked the letter I, because both colors were still so bright. I'll keep this in mind for next time...

I read on one site that the fumes from melted crayon wax aren't very good to inhale. I was mindful of this, and had fans running everywhere and I tried not to breathe too deeply. I have no idea if this is actually true, but I figured I would be careful anyway. I left them in the freezer for 15 minutes and then let them come to room temperature before taking them out.

The Sillycone molds were awesome...I popped most letters out without a whole lot of heartache. The letter N and S both broke on me, so they went back into the oven. The N came out the second time with no problems and the S broke again...and it is just going to be broken. S is for sorry, as in, 'Ruby, I am sorry I sent you a broken S.'

I packaged them up and am super excited to get them in the mail.

laptop vacation #3

Are you ready for another tour of my favorite sites/blogs/internet places? Remember to right click on the link and to "open in a new tab" so that you don't have to reopen this page every single time. (Mostly that tip is for my mom. Does that make sense mom?)

First, 1,000 Awesome Things. This is a really cool blog and I am guessing a pretty cool book. I like the premise and am excited to take a look at the paper version the next time I'm at Barnes and Noble. Until then, the blog is entertaining and so fun and positive.

On Friday I posted a great video by Andrew Peterson. He is a really talented songwriter, who I was first introduced to through Sara and Troy when they toured with his Christmas tour a few years back. He hosts a collaborative blog of sorts, called The Rabbit Room, written by artists, song writers, pastors and authors. Whenever I revisit The Rabbit Room I end up staying for a long, long time. The store at this site has all sorts of book and music recommendations that are either 1) by the artists who write the blog 2) recommended by the blog authors or 3) Christian classics that have stood the test of time. When I looked through their book section today I realized this should be my "next reads" list. Annie Dillard, Walt Wengerin, C.S. Lewis, Frederick Buechner, Madeleine L'Engle and Flannery O'Conner all frequent the list and it makes me excited to get reading.

I've also been drooling over Heather Bailey's website, especially her sewing patterns. It makes me want to learn how to sew so badly. I would love to make that fabric ring baby toy pictured right in the middle of the page when you click over to her site...

And finally, I saved this one for last, because you may never, ever leave this site once you find it. I remember when my brother sent this on to me when they were picking names for their kiddos. It is a super entertaining way to look up your kid's names, how popular that name is, when it was most popular, what it means, as well as possible sibling names that would go with your pick. Just take a minute to play...I think you'll be hooked too. It's called babynamewizard, but I am going to link you directly to the Name Voyager. Get ready to play.

andrew peterson

I have been a fan of this guy for a long time now, and just came across his latest video. Happy Friday, everybody. (ps...let the video buffer for a few moments before you start it...)

the little patio garden that could

Rory got excited this spring and planted all sorts of vegetables out on our deck. He had started many of these plants as seeds in his office window, nursing them along in an egg crate. I was sceptical when he transplanted his baby plants, because everything was planted right on top of each other in our flower boxes. Rory didn't really know what to expect either, but he was much more optimistic.

Well I'll be. We are reaping a harvest and it is impressive. In one planter that is six inches wide and two feet long he has basil, green pepper and tomato plants. I had absolutely no belief that these plants would be able to survive with so little soil to pull nutrients from. But everything seems to be thriving at this point, and we're adding basil and tomatoes and green peppers to everything.

sweet nothings

Had the privilege of drinking this delicious treat at 8:30 yesterday morning. It's like Fanta with five times the sugar and it is gross. At 9:30 the nurse drew my blood to test for gestational diabetes. Thankfully the test came back normal and I'm in the clear.

However, the doctor did note my weight gain. At my last appointment she told me I was a bit behind in gaining weight but now, five weeks later, she told me I had moved to the head of the class and need to start watching this number.

Funny thing is that I really believe my eating has not changed from appointment to appointment. It's just that huge things have happened in the last five weeks, and I have a large, kicking belly to prove it. Even still, I'm a girl, and her comments about weight went straight to the heart. When she left, she closed the door behind her and I bemoaned to Rory that I am gaining too much weight.

Rory looked me square in the eye and spoke without pause: "I'm not worried one bit. To say that you are gaining weight because of your eating is like blaming global warming on human activity." And then he went on to explain how the sun is heating up every planet in our solar system and that pregnancy is causing my weight gain the same way the sun is causing any rise in temperature.

I tell you what. I love Rory with my whole entire heart. I love his logic and his matter-of-fact sensibilities. I've been laughing at this comparison all day long.

march and june: check.

My whole goal in this new monthly scrapbooking style is to actually do it. That's the goal. I have already tried to talk myself out of this approach, reasoning that the printing quality isn't 100%, that this format doesn't tell the entire story, that not all of my favorite pictures make the cut. But then I try to figure out what the alternative would be and it's easy: these pictures would NEVER see the light of day. I am convinced of this.

But I think they're important pictures to document...like Rory's office here in Omaha. To get these pictures printed and put in an album will be so meaningful years down the road, no matter how his company has grown.

So last night I sat down and plowed through March. Rory was so excited to see these pictures that I decided to speed through June as well. I am averaging 6-7 layouts for each month (not all pages are shown here...) and the truth is, for $1.19 per page, I am getting more completed picture printing and scrapbooking done than if I ever tried to scrapbook these pictures by hand. (Though I still LOVE paper scrapbooking and would NEVER knock this style. It's just not happening for me lately...)And here is June:

clickfree

My laptop has been making a grinding sound for a few months now...and we're not sure why. It's just every couple of days, often in the middle of the night and sounds like something very, very terrible is happening inside of my beloved computer.

So I asked Rory about backup solutions. A few months ago we backed everything up on an external hard drive, but Rory did it all, and it required some back-end stuff that I didn't really understand. He has lots of his own stuff on there too, so for me to go back and find any of my own files on it later seems daunting. Then I asked him about mozy.com, an online storage system, but he is leery of sharing all of our information with a third party.

Here's my deal: I'm a smart girl, pretty quick to pick up on things and all in all, up-to-date in the world of technology. So the fact that I find backing up my own computer so very overwhelming REALLY bothers me. It's a process I want to be able to do on my own...not dependent on Rory, or anyone else for that matter.

Rory came home the next day with an orange box from Best Buy, and I liked it from the start. The box was clean and uncomplicated. I took out the directions and squealed with glee. There were only five steps, and one of them was making sure your computer was turned on. No lie. That was step number one. Step two was to plug Click free into your computer. Step three was to wait 60 seconds. Step four was to watch all of your files copy to your Clickfree. Step five was to wait for the "Download complete" screen and then to disconnect your Clickfree.It felt like magic. I felt empowered. Rory loved my excitement for a backup drive.

My Clickfree is the C2 Portable Backup Drive and was $80 at Best Buy, available online here as well, and if I were a girl who gave $80 gifts, I'd start giving Clickfree to all of my friends and family for Christmas and Birthdays.

I wish I were being paid for this endorsement, but I'm not. But actually, the payment is in my pure relief that I have everything backed up. I just think when solution is THIS SIMPLE for something like backing up ALL of my pictures, personal writing and digital scrapbooking, then it is my human duty to shout it from the rooftops.

So hear me now: CLICKFREE! CLICKFREE! CLICKFREE!

the beginnings of the baby book

A while back I got a card in the mail from Rory's mom. She had included all sorts of pictures of Rory when he was a baby and when I looked through them, I could envision similar shots from my family's albums. So this weekend I started to play, scanning all of her pictures and matching them up with pictures from my babyhood.

It's so crazy to be in this place, not knowing who our little life is, but aware that when this baby arrives he or she will come with their own personality, their own temperament, and reflect bits and pieces of Rory and me. There is so much awe and wonder filling our days lately, as we talk excitedly during this season of anticipation.

for such a time as this

I remember when my hips appeared. I was probably 13, and I didn't like them. I thought they made me look fat. And I remember my mom trying to tell me that curves are beautiful and besides, one day I'll have a baby and then I'll be so happy I have hips because it will make delivery that much easier.

I think it is so funny that my mom brought up childbirth as a reason to appreciate them...an event that was still 16 years off in the future for that little 13 year old.

But you know...she was right. I am feeling healthy and strong in this pregnancy, and I suppose I've got my hips and my thighs to thank. And I'm pretty sure I've never thanked my thighs before.

***
Well, this week I am 24 weeks along, which with my own math, since I find months and weeks confusing, I am considering 6 months. A lot happened in the last four weeks. Just look at this picture at 5 months compared to the one above!

At Hyvee on Tuesday the cashier excitedly asked me when I was due, and I was so happy to tell her because she was the very first person who didn't know I was pregnant to inquire about my belly...

We've had some seriously hot days this week in Nebraska, but I'm doing well at staying hydrated, staying inside as much as possible and enjoying so, so much this growing, kicking bump on my belly that seems to stick out a bit more each day.

so long, insecurity.

I finished Beth Moore's latest book 'So Long Insecurity this weekend. Now, I have to say, it is rare for me to find a book that I loath. Usually I just enjoy a writers efforts and add it to my 'like' list. But then there are some that I love. Love. LOVE.

This book by Beth Moore is a new favorite, hanging out in that LOVE category with a few other life changers. Beth writes very conversationally, so the book zips by...she uses lots of good stories and examples and has very strategic steps for overcoming this debilitating condition that cripples all of us from time to time.

The whole time while reading it I was making my list of who I would pass it on to. But at some point I became attached to this book and I'm not ready to part with my own copy now. It's too marked up. Plus, I have a feeling I'm going to need to keep this one on the shelf as more of a quick reference for the rest of my life.

So head on out and get your copy. I had to take the cover off of mine because Beth's picture was a little large for my liking, but the content is incredible. Enjoy!

It's Quilt Auction Time!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, gather round.

It is almost time for my favorite day at Carol Joy Holling Camp. If you live ANYWHERE close by, you really should put this date on your calendar and join us.

On July 31st, we will auction off well over 300 quilts that the fine people of Nebraska have made. The proceeds go to the camp. The day has this whole old fashioned feel about it...people use their bidding paddles to fan themselves, there's all sorts of hootin' and hollerin' when the bidding gets competitive and the auctioneers are just plain entertaining. You're met at your parking spot by a golf cart for a ride to the auction site, and all day long people are coming and going.

You might remember my elation after this day last year. You can read about it here.

Now here's the deal. I'd recommend coming for lunch, because lunch is always a good thing. And I would recommend clicking this link for a lovely look at all of the quilts to be auctioned off. If you click on the name of the quilt, a larger image will appear. It's nifty. There are still quilts pouring in each day, so they're not all up on the site, but many are. If you find a quilt you love, then you should try to be here when that quilt is being auctioned off. Quilt #1 will be auctioned at 9:00 and Quilt #399 will be auctioned closer to 5:00.

My personal pick: Well, you'll just have to come and see. Because I L,O,V,E love it. But I do have a limit that I may not bid over, set lovingly by my budget-smart hubby, so we'll just have to hope no one else finds it as stunning as I do...

I hope to see you there!!!

ha!

Have you seen this before? I just googled pregnancy pillow, thinking I should maybe invest in a body pillow to support my belly while on my side and this image came up! Hysterical! Now, I know I'm not the most comfortable sleeping lately, and I know this lady looks real comfy, but this picture seems a bit extreme...and it left me with a few questions. Like, where does her husband sleep? And how excited is he about this body pillow? And where do you store this thing between pregnancies?!!

I was just looking for one of those super long pillows I had in college as a bed decoration. Wonder where that thing went...it would be perfect. Until then, I'll be completely fine with my other smaller pillows. I don't know, maybe these things are awesome...I just can't imagine Rory letting this thing come into bed with us...

processing

I feel like I have too many thoughts flying around in my head lately. I can't hardly think through one full circumstance without launching 12 other semi-related thoughts. I am really scattered and because of feeling scattered, I feel unproductive. My true nemesis.

Saturday I had an entire day to myself. Rory was at a CPR class, and it was just me with not a whole lot planned. But the day came and went and it was neither restful or productive. I filled it with lots of parts of projects but didn't complete anything and didn't feel like I had much to show for the day. Even if I had sat on the couch and napped and read all day I would count that as productive, as long as I felt rested. But I didn't feel restored from a day of rest either. (Plus, I babysat a 18 month old who completely took it out of me! She kicked my, and my clean apartment's hiney. We both looked very messy when she left and it was my first sobering, slightly less joyful look at the season ahead.)

So this morning I sat down and made a list of all that has been running through my head. I did a brain dump. I listed the serious concerns and lesser subtopics that keep popping up and wrote down next to each one why it is weighing on me.

The interesting thing, is that there were two on the list that required the back of the paper to fully flesh out why I've been so affected. I'll share one.

My aunt Jan just recently had the most horrible of surgeries I could ever imagine. She has cancer of the tongue, and hasn't been able to eat food since last July when she had the cancer removed. (Her husband has faithfully tube fed her six times a day for the past 12 months.) But the cancer came back and this time the doctors decided they needed to remove a lot more of her tongue, replacing it with skin from her wrist. The surgery was two weeks ago, and the recovery has not been smooth. She is now turning a corner and we praise God for his healing hand.

When I was writing this down on my list, I kept writing and realized that the very hardest part of this surgery and scary season my family is walking through, for me, has been watching the toll it has taken on my mom. As a daughter, it is really hard to see your own mom cry so hard. She is very close to Aunt Jan; they talk every single day. And now Aunt Jan can't talk. Mom has been to the hospital daily and calls to give me updates. Those first calls after the surgery, she sounded so beat up. So exhausted and shook.

I think, being so close to my own sister, this has been even more painful to watch and imagine. It's hard to know what to say...even to my mom. And it has left me with a heavy heart, waiting each day to hear the progress from the hospital.

***

I continued with my list, which grew quite long with every running thought in my head, and a strange peace began to settle in. As my list grew, my grace for myself grew too. I could finally see clearly that there is just a lot happening right now, and I think I have been trying too hard to keep on keeping on. I'm now thinking my time in this season might be best spent going item by item on my list and trying to do something that would sedate that thought for a while. And even as I am typing that I am realizing that my "doing something" should really be to take this list and to turn the whole thing into prayer. This heavy load has gotten me down, and I don't think I'm supposed to carry it anymore.

wisdom from sonna

Last night I had the following conversation with my 3-year-old niece, Sonna (in this picture she is sitting on top of her sister, Mara.)

B: So did you have fun in the paddle boat?
S: Yes. You don't even have to wear a seatbelt in a paddle boat. But you do in cars.
B: That's true. And you don't wear a seatbelt on a train, but you do on an airplane.
S: (thoughtful pause) And you don't have to wear a seatbelt on a rainbow.
B: Did you just say rainbow? Like up in the sky?
S: Yes. You just look at them, but you don't have to wear your seatbelt.

more preggers surprises

#4) I am surprised at how complicated the months and weeks of my pregnancy are.
I don't get it. I am currently in week 23, but month 6. How does that work out? The math of a four week-month doesn't add up. I know when this baby is expected but I still don't get how weeks and months work.

#5) I was surprised that it took a while for us to get pregnant.
I can't complain...it didn't take us forever. But I was genuinely surprised to read (while we were trying) that the average woman in her 20's trying to get pregnant will usually take a year before she finds two lines on her pee stick. A whole year. And this is the average amount. It is still hard for me to believe this when it seems like plenty of young girls can get pregnant accidentally. And it just doesn't seem right that I know so many friends who are trying desperately for the same result.

When I took the pregnancy tests I couldn't believe how hard I was willing for a second line to show up. I thought of my announcement post during one of these unsuccessful tests, thinking it was so, so crazy how badly I wanted to see two lines show up.

#6) I didn't get weepy emotional.
I keep waiting for this to happen. It still might. But so far, my emotions are less weepy and sad as they are short fused and annoyed. My inability to find my patience at moments makes me think that this is how my irrational emotions have played out. I had just assumed I would cry a lot.

#7) How much Rory would want to be a part of this whole thing.
Rory came up to me just a few days ago and said, "I can't wait for the baby to come. I really want it to come now." And I replied that he could wait and that we would not want the baby to come right now. And he commented, "Well I know that, but it's just not fair that you get to have the baby with you all day long. I just want it out so I can spend that much time with our baby too."

He will stop dead in his tracks if I tell him the baby is moving. He can't get enough.

my 2nd of July parade...

Last week my counselors shined. They were so creative all week long. I was left with a really hard decision of who should get the gift card for the most creative programming idea. In the end, I sort of played it safe and rewarded the entire staff with a 2nd of July parade for which I purchased $25 worth of parade candy.

I told my staff to think of all of the 2nd of July parades they had ever, ever attended. And then I asked them to rank them from best to worst and to please put the parade we were about to experience at the very top of your 2nd of July parade list.

We all went outside, I made them sing "You're a grand old flag" and then five decorated golf carts came through the crowd throwing candy at everyone. And then they circled back for one more chance to throw their candy at their friends.

It was silly, fun, and a pretty decent camp parade. I suppose this was a nod to Mt. Carmel's parades and Flathead's parades. It felt necessary and was a great kick off to our extended weekend off.

our weekend in St. Louis

Rory and I spent the holiday weekend in St. Louis, visiting my Uncle Mark and Aunt Jane. We also got to spend a whole day with my cousins Yang Yang, Nancy and baby Zoe. We ate non-stop on this trip and shared lots and lots of really good conversations. The kind of conversations that even while you're having them you're thinking, this is a good conversation. :)

On Sunday Yang Yang took us out for Dim Sum and it was a feast. Chinese appetizers just kept coming to our table and it was fantastic. I like this style of eating...it is very social.

We went out on Friday night too, and when Rory opened his fortune cookie he was informed:

We are now calling our baby, "short stranger."

The whole weekend made for a great vacation. The time in the car with Rory was especially sweet...we travel well together and seem to have some of our most meaningful conversations while flying down the open road. (or as was the case yesterday, not so open road, but rather filled with frantic americans all trying to get home after the holiday weekend. We'll probably avoid travel on the 5th of July from here on out...)

Happy 4th of July weekend!

Rory's mom sent this picture to me back in November and I've been hanging onto it ever since for this day. Sorry it's not any bigger, but if you look closer, this is all people. It's astounding to me. The picture was taken in 1918 with 18,000 men at Camp Dodge in Iowa.

I remember when I studied abroad in India, I was so nervous about what India would be like, and how I'd relate to that country. But on the airplane ride there I sat next to a tiny woman who was kind in her smile and persistant in her desire to communicate, even though we didn't share a single word of the same language. She was sweet and sort of changed my outlook as we landed in her homeland. After that airplane ride I could relax because I realized that I would get to know India, one person at a time. India became less of a place for me, and much more a people.

I love this picture, then, because it's the best representative of our country. We the people. And especially this picture showing many, many men and women who chose to defend our liberty and fight for our independence. One person at a time decides to take pride in our homeland and many more decide to fight for our freedoms. We are a blessed people.

So happy 4th of July everybody! I hope you're celebrating with some great people today.

mother theresa