due date: today.

My dad made this cradle when he and my mom were expecting my brother. I am so excited to get to use it! Doesn't it look empty without a baby to fill it? We're going to work on that this week.


READY FOR BABY CHECK LIST:
-Tiny baby clothes, boy and girl, washed in dreft. Check.
-Suitcase packed with gorp and a nursing gown. Check.
-Music picked out: Pride and Prejudice soundtrack and some Yanni. Check.
-Big camera, little camera and Flip cam batteries charged and memory cards cleared. Check.
-First and middle names chosen and adored for girl and boy. Check.
-Eating spicy foods. Check. And cream cheese wantons. Check.
-Literally ripping out of my clothes due to large size (wantons?). Check.
-Baby in my arms. Soon. It has got to be soon.

big and ready

Today as I was stepping into the car on our way to church, the slit in the back of my jean skirt ripped all the way up to my undies. I yelped, said, "Oh my goodness!" and reached back to see how far it had ripped.

Rory freaked out.

Rory: "What?!! What?!! What's wrong?"

Becca: "My skirt just ripped. Look at this!"
(we met behind the car) Can I still wear it?"

Rory: "No. You definitely have to change. But you cannot yell an exclamation and grab between your legs. I thought your water had broken. If you're going to yell you have to yell what exactly you are yelling about. Immediately."

Ha! He thought I was going into labor. We're both feeling quite ready.

passing the time

When you're this pregnant it is hard to know how to plan your days. You must have things planned or you'll go crazy. But each event planned has to be something that sounds like a lovely way to spend your little bit of energy, and each event has to be flexible upon babies arrival.

Insert days at the lake. I've been out to Rory's folks three times in the last ten days. Perfect. Even went swimming on Monday night. Thought that might help get things rolling, but it did not. Yesterday we celebrated my sweet niece turning five with all of her church friends and their families and on Monday night Lisa treated us ladies to a dinner cruise, complete with chicken pasta salad, decorations she had whipped up that day (the pennant), dark chocolate cake and iced coffee. Lisa does nothing half way.

The picture below is evidence that I did in fact get in the water off of the pontoon. And more importantly, the picture below that is evidence that I got myself back in the pontoon after the swim. No small feat. :)

Bubby BowWow

I have a strong feeling I'm having a little boy. This is based on absolutely nothing...I have had many phases of being convinced it is a girl. But for some reason, the closer we get, the more I think I will be utterly shocked if it is a girl.

We have our first and middle name chosen for a girl, set in stone. And we have our boys first name as well. But we are completely stumped for a middle name.

We brought the issue to Ivar a few weeks ago at the dinner table. We asked him, "Ivar, if you have little brother, what should his middle name be?" And he replied confidently and with volume, "Bubby BowWow."

So sometimes we refer to the baby as Bubby BowWow.

This week we have been spending a lot of our time down at the creek, throwing rocks and sticks in the water and watching the dogs, bikes and airplanes pass by. We've essentially discovered that the creek is the best babysitter ever. Ivar is completely entertained and we can sit in our camping chairs and take in the nice day with an occupied son.

And when I watch Ivar, so busy gathering tiny rocks to throw in the moving water, it makes me so excited for the brother or sister he has coming, who will join him in his adventures.

due in five days...

...and here's what I'm thinking:

*There was a sweet innocence and excitement about going into labor with baby #1. Now I know better. And I remember it all. And even though I am so excited for the baby to be here, I am really not excited about the painful process that takes place in the hours before the baby is born.

*In my wishful head, I had hoped the baby would come early so that we could have some down time before the moving day. I am now realizing wishful thinking is not very helpful because this baby will come when it wants to. And that might be a week late. And I'll just have to roll with that.

*Ivar has been especially snuggly lately and I love it. I wonder how aware he is of all the changes that are happening around him. He rests his head on my shoulder, needs lots and lots of attention and affection and is very concerned if Rory and I are out of his sight. He also gives my belly lots of hugs and rocks the cradle while repeating, "baby. baby."

*I am so glad we are pulling off this baby-and-a-move-craziness with baby #2. It would have been too much with baby #1, with how much I needed to be set up and prepared. With this baby, I am fully aware that a cradle, diapers and a few outfits will be plenty for baby until we can get settled into the new house.

country roads

We’re moving from 1/8 acre to 10 acres. It used to be a farm, but the barn and silo have been torn down and it hasn’t had animals for over 40 years. It is part wooded, part corn field rented to the neighboring farmer and a whole lot of lawn to mow. (We got the riding mower in our purchase agreement!)

The farm house was built in 1890 and is in impressive shape, considering its age. The owners we are purchasing the house from have lived in this house for the last 40 years, raising their kids, hosting all of the family gatherings out on the front lawn.

Rory has been looking for a rural property for a bit over three years now. When we lived in Nebraska, he would take weekend trips back to Minnesota and scout out the areas he loved the most. He brought me along to see some of these properties and I humored him. I knew he was serious about this dream, but I didn’t really see it happening anytime soon.

We knew when we got pregnant with baby #2 that we would either have to finish our basement and put another bedroom in down there, or find a new home. And after pricing out the basement remodel and then realizing that the basement would just be the start, we decided we probably would have to move…because everything else started to feel a bit cramped when we envisioned another kiddo running around in here.

So we kept looking. Not really expecting to find anything, but hopeful.

We didn’t tell anyone we were looking though. This was mostly because we didn’t know if it would take three months or three years to find what we were looking for. The house hunt felt very casual, very non-committal.

So we took our road trips, visited properties and kept this fun little conversation between the two of us. And strangely, as Rory continued to tell of his dreams for this rural life, I started to feel some of my own dreams come to life as well. I began to envision my days. In February we found a house that we loved.  It had a huge porch and a big sun room. I could see myself living there, content and really happy. That property ended up falling through because of crazy zoning stuff beyond our control, but I told Rory after that visit, “something big just happened. I just became un-tethered.” And from that moment on, I was fully on board with this house hunt. His dream had become my dream too.

I think this is such a crazy and amazing part of marriage: the birth of dreams. It’s amazing, because usually a dream is birthed in one partner.  But to watch this dream grow into our dream might have been one of the cooler things to behold in our marriage.

When we first drove onto the property, we let Ivar out and he quickly ran opposite of the house. We just watched him as we caught up with our realtor. He was giggling and stumbling, and kept turning around to see when we were going to tell him to come back. But we never did. He was free to run in any direction he wanted.

And in that instant, I wanted to live there.  I envisioned a whole lot of our future days running around that yard, exploring the woods and raising our kids with a big garden, forts in the woods and a gravel road.

The next day we bought the place. A week later we sold our place. That felt crazy and wonderful. And now we are due to have a baby in one week, and to move the week after that. Which also feels quite crazy and wonderful...

our new place: a sneak peek

I had every hope to write about our new place this week. But it's going to have to wait until next week. Until then, here's Ivar giving you a glimpse of where we're moving to. It is gorgeous and we cannot wait to spread out a bit.

olympic count down

Are you ready? Because the Olympic Opening Ceremonies are upon us. Today marks our three week count down. We had the greatest closing ceremonies buffet two years ago during the winter olympics...remember it? I think I'm still digesting it.

Anyway, I had high hopes of having another party for this Olympics, but instead I think we'll move that day. A different kind of party, really. But be sure you check out this post for some pretty awesome olympic ideas...if I do say so myself. A Doritos torch? That's clever stuff...

bookworm book club

I am so excited about this.

My sister just forwarded an email to me, written by a friend I worked with at summer camp in Montana. Lindsey is one of the funniest people I have ever met...and apparently quite the reader. She has started a website called The Bookworms Book Club where each month she reviews four books and invites you to read one of them too, to write your own review, and join the conversation on her website.

I love this idea because she reviews the books at the beginning of the month, allowing you to read her thoughts before you make your pick. Genius. And it's just her honest opinion, not the perfectly worded back cover that makes every book sound amazing. And not all of the books are new releases...which means I don't have to go and buy every book at Barnes and Nobel. I can check them out at the library. Cha Ching. (That's the sound of money still in my pocket...)

But what I think I love the most is that this sort of book club takes away all the obligation of having to read one particular book by one particular date. I hate assigned reading. I resent it. Reminds me of 6th grade when my reading teacher made our reading assignments into bookmarks, so that I was always keenly aware of how many chapters I was behind. And I was always behind. A procrastinator and a slow reader...reading always felt like a chore.

It's a whole different topic for another day...but just as a side story: I remember when I read Harry Potter while abroad in India. I was on the top bunk of a bed with three other students in an overcrowded train, barreling down the tracks. The train was potent with people and engine and I was totally lost in a game of quidditch taking place on the pages of the book. And when we got to our destination I remember actually thinking, "I think that's what people mean when they say they get sucked into a book." I was 19 years old when I first got sucked into a book! Isn't that crazy to think about?!! I was so late to the reading party.

Anyway, I hope you join in with the Bookworms. This month I am going to read The Giver. I remember student teaching 8th grade and the students going crazy for this book. Should be a fun read.

And just a suggestion to Lindsey: I think The Bookworms Book Club should have buttons with iridescent rainbows on them and a place for five star stickers, one star for every book read. And when your button has five stars you can turn it in for a personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut. Oh man, does anyone remember Book It? I LOVED that program. Food always has been my best motivator...

hot

Well Minnesota is giving us some pretty incredible summer days this week. Hot. Sticky. Muggy. Upper 90's with a dew point that makes the air terribly thick. At 38 weeks pregnant, I have been enjoying the air conditioning, the two sun dresses that still fit me and my endless cups of ice. I love ice so much.

But we've also been trying to get outside too. Last night we set up the sprinkler in the backyard and took turns going through it. Ivar thought it was silly and shockingly cold. Rory got himself entirely soaked and I walked through a few times just enough to get my legs and then went back inside.

Today is the 4th of July and our country is 235 years old. My grandma recently passed away at age 93 and it really blows my mind that she lived for well over 1/3 of our country's entire history. That's a very big chunk of our history to witness! America is just not that old.

We're celebrating today with both families. I am making homemade ice cream sandwiches (fun to go back and read that blog post) and looking forward to a hamburger with extra pickles, watermelon, deviled eggs and an icy glass of lemonade. Oh I love a good all-American picnic!

PS...I'm posting this at 4:30, and I'm actually up right now. I feel confident that little baby and I will be up at 4 pretty regularly together, as we already hang out, wide awake, most early mornings already. While sitting on this couch watching the clock, I came across these pictures from last year and the parade we had at Grandma's family reunion. So much of life has changed in one year.

auntie lu lu

Ivar has a nickname for many in the family.

Rory: Daddo
Becca: MamaDaddo
Grandpa Paul: Used to be called "Bapa" but now he simply calls him "Ball"
Grandma Margaret: MaMa. Straight up. I think it's the ma from grandma and the ma from margaret. I tried to deny this name for a month, but finally gave in. Ivar calls my mom Mama, and I am MamaDaddo.
Grandma Marlene: Mimi and MimiPapa (along the same lines as MamaDaddo...)
Grandpa Madison: Papa
Aunt Annika: Auntie Unka
Svea: Weigh-a
Mara: Mada
Aunt Lisa: Eesa!
Kirby, Toby, Ruby: B!
Josie: Osie
Maddie: Maddie (perfectly pronounced)
Aunt Louie: Auntie Lu Lu
Uncle Jake: Yak

When we look through the pictures from our trip to the farm (which happens daily) Ivar delights in the pictures of him and Jake and Louie by the tractor and the cows. The learning from this is that if you want a kid to adore you, and babble your name repeatedly as they go down for their morning nap, try to get a few snapshots of you by a tractor and cows.

Cici's Pizza Buffet

I have no picture of this moment, but I hope to paint one with words.

Friday night the three of us went to the South Beach at Lake Harriet as we often do. We brought our supper with us, a deep dish frozen pizza that once baked, Rory had put in our lasagna pyrex casserole pan with the plastic lid. The pizza was big, the slices were heaping and it tasted awesome while sitting on the bench that is right on the walking path, overlooking the beach.

Ivar sat in his stroller eating his pizza and I held the casserole on my lap while Rory ran back to the car to grab our waters. I sat there, huge and pregnant with an entire pizza on my lap.

Our longtime family friend Linda walked by with her friend Pam. We talked for a while, sharing our excitement for the move ahead, heard about the conference she was attending this weekend, talked about the baby soon to arrive.

When Rory returned I realized I had been sitting by myself with this huge pizza on my lap. I asked Rory, “Does this look bad?”

Rory laughed and said, “Yeah, sort of. Like the guy at Cici’s Pizza Buffet who just goes through the line filling a tray and never grabs a plate.”

I then saw myself from the outside, nine months pregnant, huge, wolfing pizza on a park bench by myself while my son watched me and Linda approached. And then I laughed so hard it hurt my pizza-and-baby-stuffed belly.

family of three

I was at a garage sale last week and a little girl about Ivar’s age fell off of a tricycle and hit her head really hard. Everyone froze at the sale as the babysitter went to scoop her up explaining, “it’s been a really big day for her…she just met her little sister this morning at the hospital. And she’s wondering where her mom and dad are.”

On the walk home I got weepy (not really hard to do recently) thinking about Ivar and all of the change that is ahead for that little boy. Soon he’ll be the one meeting his little sibling, and then he’ll watch his house be boxed up and then he’ll find himself waking up in a new room.

Dear Ivar,
My sweet baby boy. Soon we are going to add another member to our family and one day we’ll try really hard to remember what life was like before this new sibling joined our clan. We’ll become a strong  family unit and our hearts will grow in size once more (seemingly impossible, but we know it is true.) We are so excited for you to have a playmate, a lifelong friend, someone to share family inside jokes with.

But I want you to know how precious these 20 months have been as a family of three. You are the joy of our hearts and bring us laughter, entertainment and happiness like we have never known. You get all of the attention and this works well for all of us. You love us as much as we love you.

Last night the three of us went to REI and then to Target. And we all shared an icee at Target, taking turns sipping from our different straws. You loved being a part of the sharing, spoke up if we were skipping your turn and screamed excitedly as the icee approached your face. You make our errands actual events, our to-do lists become memorable outings.

In the mornings you yell for Daddo and he will get you out of your crib so you can help him make his coffee. Then the two of you check the garden, set the sprinklers and eat some raspberries. You will also use this time to take petals off of the flowers. Never the dead flowers. Always the thriving ones. You are proud to help.

Some mornings you will join us in bed, but lately this annoys you as it is obvious you believe it is time we all start our day. You want to get down off the bed, but only if we get down too. It is time to be up and moving.

Life is going to change a lot with a new baby. Attention will be split and there will be quite a bit to adjust to. And then we'll move to the new house and settle into new rooms and routines. I have been praying for all of our hearts during this season of transition. It might be rocky for a while. I am sort of bracing for that. But I also know that babies grow quickly and we will find our rhythm in a few months. I have asked Jesus for extra grace and patience as we all adjust to a new home, a new baby, a new sleep routine (or lack-there-of).

But I am so excited that we get to bring you with us. Of course we do, because you’re our son. But in some way I am looking at you to serve as a constant within all of the changes ahead. You’ll still be full of silliness, full of joy for life, full of Ivar-goodness. I like knowing that it is the three of us who are heading on this next adventure together. We’ll adjust together, grow in love together, fall hard for this little baby together and continue to live our days fully alive.

So Ivar Nicholas. I think I got a little off track, but what I really set out to tell you is that these 20 months have been sweet, sweet  months with you. I will always look at the pictures from this season and think of the memories we have as a family of three with fondness, happiness and joy. Because you are our first born, our sweet little boy.

37 weeks

I just cropped this picture and need to acknowledge how great my husband is. This picture makes me laugh, realizing what a sport he is to put up with my photo ideas...so that when I say, "here, hold this watermelon like it's a baby!" he actually does, and then gives the camera a half smile. He's good to me. (This picture is a throwback to the one we took with a pumpkin when I was preggers with Ivar...at the end of this post)

We are 37 weeks and I'm feeling great. I tucker out easily, but found out today that I am pretty low iron and that taking a supplement might really help with energy. And basically I am just very pregnant with a one year old. That's the biggest reason for being tired!

Our closing date and moving date has been moved up a month so that we will now move ten days after my due date. Not sure how that will all turn out, but I'm sitting loose and have boxed a whole lot of our house up already. It's going to be a busy and full summer, but it's all wonderful stuff and I'm not too bent out of shape about the timing. Wouldn't have picked it, but I'm determined to make it work!

Next week I'll start sharing bits of our new place. We could not be more excited about the home we're moving to. And thrilled that everything is coming together so quickly so we can move in and get settled.

backyard camping

Friday night we "camped" in the backyard. It's the only way to camp when you're nine months pregnant and have a one year old.

We went into the night with hopeful (though very low) expectations. Ivar was wired. He kicked his legs around like a donkey, diving into the sleeping bags and thermarests while yelling, "Mama! Daddo!" He laughed and screamed and in time, four of our neighbors had come over to see what kind of party we had going on in our backyard.

At 10:30 he still hadn't really settled down. We read our books, and he dove over our bellies laughing and saying our names as if to say, "Mama Daddo! What on earth are we doing? I am delirious tired and you still haven't put me to bed and we're all together and I love it!"

A bit before 11:00 Rory and I pretended to be asleep and Ivar lay between us. And then I felt a tiny finger go up my nose and heard Ivar say, "hello, nose."

We laughed so hard. And Ivar started kicking his legs again, force laughing and yelling, "Mama! Daddo!" I think that's about when we gave up on the idea that we might all sleep together in the tent that night.

I actually did fall asleep and at some point Rory took Ivar into his crib.

I slept soundly until 1:00 when I had to use the restroom for the fourth time. And then we decided we had nothing to prove and moved into our bed. I was achy the next day, but actually was surprisingly comfortable out there with my four pillows propping my back, belly, knees and head.