happy friday!

And that's a wrap! Tree Tapping-Evaporating-Finishing and Canning Season is over! And we have the Maple Syrup to prove it. Isn't that glorious? I can't get enough of these pictures...the rainbow of syrup all tapped from the same trees is mesmerizing to me.  Really beautiful. The temperature when you collect the sap has a lot to do with the color, as well as the rate of the boil. And it all tastes incredible. There is so much to learn!

Well, I'm here to write a review of our week, but there is not a whole lot to report. This week was an awesome, normal, regular week. Even tonight I started with Ivar at dinner, "hey, hey what do you say, what was your favorite part of the day today, Ivar?" And he thought for a long time and said, "not really any one part. It was just a normal day." And it was! Homeschool, lots of legos, Hattie drawing with chalk on the wall (so grateful it was chalk!) and frozen pizza for dinner. Not much to report.

But that's a good life too, isn't it? Don't need too much drama. Don't need too much busy and frantic. Don't need too much disruption to the normal routine. I like our life so much. We've got glorious maple syrup to show for it, and we have finally finished the trim in the living room so I can paint it all white tomorrow. So other than a trip to the library with friends (complete with a stop to the cupcake shop) and the implementation of daily chores for the big kids, our week has been pretty routine.

Have a happy weekend!

a family seder

Doesn't everyone in the picture look just riveted by what I am saying?!! Thankfully I didn't talk too long and then Derrick took the floor!

So three years ago I attended my first Seder Meal at the church we were attending. It was led by Pastor Derrick, who walked us through a traditional Jewish Passover feast, while pointing out how Jesus fulfilled various parts of the meal.

To say that it added depth and meaning to my Easter feels too small. It is amazing, isn't it, how the huge Christian stories can begin to wash over us a normal. "Oh yes, this is the part where he rises from the grave..." What?!! How does this happen? How do the stories become so familiar that they loose their weight and impact on our lives? But it happens. And this Seder Meal three years ago woke me up again and I remember being profoundly moved that Easter, knowing all of the Jewish traditions and customs and background surrounding the history of Jesus' death and resurrection.

I have attended the last two years as well, and each time thought it would be so cool to host one of these meals at my house, with Derrick teaching, just like he does at the church. As it worked out, Sara was leading worship at their church and we were able to team up church with the meal at Art House North.

The kicker is that it is long. Like three hours long. But you are eating basically the whole time and there are just lots of parts of the meal and there is a lot to teach on each part. But each time more and more is illuminated, and I love that feeling.

If you ever have the opportunity to attend something like this, I highly recommend it. He is leading the meal again in our town on the night of Palm Sunday and if you'd like to come, drop me a line and I can send you the details.

Springtime picture books!

I am so excited just to pass this resource along!

I love our library, and the kids love it too. We go to Lego Time when we can and our library has a really huge creative play area where they can play store, kitchen, mailman, and ice cream shop.

My trouble is in picking out good books. The kids usually pick them out (lots of disney-character books), and I usually discover what we checked out when we get home. And let me tell you, there are some duds out there.

This is why I was so excited to find Read-Aloud Revival! Because not only does she have a book list of her all-time favorite books per age, she also sends out a book list each month with THE BEST picture books to read during that month. She is Christian and notates when a book has a Christian message. And the other books are just good, wholesome, awesome, beautiful books with uplifting and good messages.

Her April book list just came out and the books are all about gardening, Easter, baby animals and the change from winter to summer... SPRING!

I print the list out, sit down with my computer and open our library website. Then I select to search from All Libraries and reserve each book I can find. This month I was able to reserve 24 out of her 28 recommended springtime books. (None of which were at my actual library, but will come from other libraries in southern Minnesota.) And they look stunning. I can't wait for them to arrive!

So go check out Read-Aloud Revival and sign up for her emails so you start receiving her book lists. These are the stories we want our kids to read!

I'm 36!

I have written about this before, but I still champion this idea so I'm going to write about it again. A few years ago I took Rory off the hook for my birthday. I have high expectations for my birthday and was always hoping that maybe he could magically read my mind when March 18th came around. As it turns out, he could not read my mind. But I could! So I started planning my own special day from start to finish.

I recommend this SO MUCH. Because I know I'm not alone in this. I know too many stories of the big day ending in disappointment and tears. But I really believe your birthday is your responsibility when you become an adult. It just is. So whether I am turning 36 or 66 or 96, I will continue to plan my day. It's not my husband's job, not my children's, not my friend's. It's mine. And you know what? All my expectations are met when I plan the day.

So Saturday was my big day, and I was ready for it. Friday night I cleaned the kitchen and hung my own pennants. I set the table for a fun brunch party with my family, bought my own coffee cake and woke up early to meet a bunch of girlfriends for a birthday breakfast. I invited every one of them and told them not to bring a gift or a card, but to just pay for their own pancakes. I love beginning the day with friends. It's good to feel loved by girlfriends at the start of the day!

When I got home the kids were ecstatic to give me their cards and to have coffee cake (which, I can't actually eat because of my no-grain eating plan...but I bought the cake mostly for them because it is very important to have your kid's buy in for your big day!)

But in a crazy surprise Rory had spent the morning making me a very complicated Paleo Chocolate Pie! Now here is an added bonus to letting your husband off of the birthday hook: anything he does is genuinely appreciated because it is bonus! And not done out of birthday obligation. I was so surprised and impressed. We had this chocolate pie a few weeks ago with friends and I loved every crumb. It is coconut cream, dates and melted chocolate (and other things) on a walnut crust. I told Rory that I would have been really intimidated to attempt that recipe and he said, "oh, I was."

I spent the afternoon making special foods for a Seder meal we had the next day (that I'll write about tomorrow.) And that was a great task too: to try a whole bunch of new recipes. I really enjoyed playing in the kitchen all afternoon. At 3:00 we dropped the kids off at my friend Allyson's house and she watched them for four hours. I'll return the favor on her birthday in two weeks. Genius! And we lined it up, because we are adults!

Rory and I went to a coffee shop and talked for a few hours and then out to dinner. And it was so great. I told him on the drive to pick up the kids, "I love time with you. I love when we get to finish a conversation." And it's so true. Our communication can be so fragmented and interrupted with so many vying for our attention. The joy of our date night was really getting to talk.

We picked the kids up, put them to bed and then watched a documentary on Sugar while eating the incredible chocolate pie. Perfect. 

in this season of life...

I thought of this post tonight while I took a hot bath and it made me laugh a bit and want to document this slice of life.

In this season of life we are playing Uno all. the. time. Ivar and Elsie love it. Hattie loves to grab cards close to the edge of the table. I enjoy the quick games and can't believe how long the long games can be!

In this season of life everything is about being fair. Raisins are counted. Cheerios are counted. Mothers are losing their mind. Two halves are measured against the other. Apple sauce levels are scrutinized. You would think these children were starving. You'd think this mom was unskilled at cutting things fairly. You'd think there was a shortage of cheerios.

In this season of life there is always dried toothpaste on the bathroom counter.

In this season of life Elsie changes her outfits four times a day. I once explained to her that only the dirty outfits need to go in the laundry basket, and eventually I figured out that those outfits are actually all dirty. Elsie wins for most laundry every single week.

In this season of life our couches are taken apart daily for forts and every blanket, chair and table are utilized to make large, amazing, precarious structures.

In this season of life we have spaghetti once a week because everyone cheers when I tell them that spaghetti is the plan for dinner.

In this season of life our toilet paper is either in a pile under the dispenser or piled back on the dispenser after someone found it unrolled on the floor.

In this season of life we all watch Rory leave in the morning and wave to him from window #1, and quickly move to window #2 and #3 as he drives down the road. He is well loved.

The thing that made me laugh about this list, as I thought about it in the tub, is that we will likely be in this season for the next many years! Baby #4 is starting this whole train from the beginning, and I guess I just see a lot more Uno, forts, spaghetti, dried toothpaste, unrolled toilet paper and dirty laundry in my future!

motherhood in march in minnesota is monotonous.

How's that for a blog title! You know how I do love alliteration.

Recently Rory and I had a really helpful conversation. It was without a lot of emotion, just an honest conversation about the challenge I am feeling while at home with three kids and how being home with kids all day can be lonesome and get really boring. Not that there is ever a lack of things to be done. There are always dishes, laundry, meals to make, cleaning, lesson planning and baths to fit in. But those tasks, day over day, (as they are for any mother in any circumstance) can make a lady weary. And even though this is what I chose, and even though I feel positively blessed to get to be home, the days can be so long, the time in the kitchen can feel unending and personal time feels like a taunt.

Also, motherhood in March in Minnesota is sort of the ultimate test. It's time for the change of seasons in lots of ways, but the seasons aren't changing. There is a special stamina needed to get through March...

The tricky thing is that I am not actually sure what would leave me feeling recharged. When Rory's cousin Kerah was here we talked about this and how it is tricky. Because time with friends is great and needed, but so is time alone. But that alone time almost has a pressure of its own, making sure it is utilized well. I have found that a hot bath and a good book does wonders for me. And I like the idea of time in the house alone but that requires everyone else go somewhere, which is hardly an option with naps and routines. So then I try to get out of the house, but quickly I make it a practical outing, getting groceries or diapers or picking up pictures that have been waiting for me for months. The days with little kids is just a sacrificial season. And that likely is the point. A mom has to draw near to God when the days feel long and the mess is constant.

But I do have this idea lately of creating play centers for myself around the house, just for me. Things that would add little bits of mom-fun throughout my day. Like a little spot to make something creative. Or a letter writing station to send some paper love to another. Or favorite podcasts to play, always having a great book to pick up, an awesome stack of magazines from the library, worship music playing in the background. Baking is always a good option for me. When life is so reactionary to little ones and their needs are constant, I really have to be better about giving myself little breaks.

Anyway, I thought this was all a worthy topic to write about. Motherhood can be very monotonous. And monotony can be a real mind-game to conquer! For a mom with young kids, there are refining fires all around that are hopefully building the best character in her heart as possible: patience, self-control, gentleness, kindness... The ones that you have to learn through trial and error, grace and forgiveness and new mornings when we get to pray for God's Spirit to give those needed fruits for the new day with the same kids doing the same thing. :)

So I'm off to make little play centers for myself. And I'm super excited about this!

do less. but do it.

I have always adored my cousins. When I married Rory I got the bonus of all of his cousins...all of whom I would pick as friends. And here I just married into the clan! One of his cousins, Kerah, came for a visit last week and our time was incredible. Again, I'd pick these people as friends and here they are...my family.

Kerah's boys are 13 months apart. Can you even imagine? Baby #2 was a surprise in lots of ways. Even his arrival was a surprise when his mom delivered him in the front seat of their car on their way to the hospital!

We had some of the most helpful conversation I've had a in a long time. I have another blog post in the works with some nuggets from the rest of our time together, but to begin, I think this is a worthy topic to write about.

 I recently saw a picture of me holding Ivar and Elsie right when Elsie was born and it knocked the wind out of me. I remember that season. Those little ones were really little. And really dependent and demanding. And seeing that picture gave me a little glimpse into what is up ahead. Kerah said that she really struggled a few months after her second was born, and I remember those days too, especially after Elsie. Some days were really dark. Postpartum depression is real. And I think it's just good to acknowledge that it comes with some babies. It can feel like a surprise, because you may have not had it with your last baby. But here it is. A cloud of weariness descends.

This wasn't postpartum, but recently I told Rory, "I am feeling so depressed today." And he said, "Oh that makes total sense. We haven't seen the sun in a week, you haven't been out of the house in days and have been caring nonstop for sick, mopey kids. Of course you're feeling depressed. Just let yourself feel it. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to have bad days...those are real emotions that we don't have to always run away from." Then he encouraged me to go out for a walk.

Now I know there are stories and circumstances that require outside help. And I won't dismiss that. But I have to tell you, having Rory acknowledge (and not panic) about my depressed mood was sincerely helpful. I stopped feeling bad about feeling bad and just started taking care of myself in better ways.

We talked about what would be helpful during those dark days...ways that friends could really carry you through that season. Mostly because I feel like I need to make a concrete list for myself so that when fall and winter come (I'm assuming that is when I'll start to feel the weight and hormones of baby #4...that's when I felt it with Elsie. Not when she was born in the summer, but when it got cold and isolated in the winter) I will have some practical ways to ask for help.

Here's what we came up with:
A meal quickly dropped off. Doesn't have to be gourmet. In fact, a Cub Fried Chicken meal, purchased ten minutes before drop off is as welcome as anything. I always over think this one so that I never do anything. I think I should prepare some awesome meal, but that truly is not my gift. However, that doesn't let me off the hook! A gift card to a restaurant in town would be just as kindly received. In so many of these ideas, IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT REALLY, TRULY DOES COUNT.

And then, the meal can be dropped off with a short chat of hello and encouragement. But actually a long visit can also be overwhelming. I think this is encouraging for me as the giver. I can tell Rory, "hey, I'm going to cub to get a chicken dinner for so-and-so and will be home in 45 minutes. Done and done.

A text message. When you think of that person, just drop them a line to tell them. Period. Done frequently, this can mean AS MUCH as a chicken dinner.

A voice mail. We both said that there are moments of mayhem where picking up the phone isn't an option. But to hear a nice message can be life-giving and also can be played over and over and over.

A card or piece of fun mail. Just any sort of hello from the outside world! Motherhood can feel lonely. It just can. I don't think we can fix that, but a nice card or sending someone a good magazine (!!!) would be so well received. I remember I got a box in the mail from my friend Heidi after Elsie was born. It had random toys that her kids wanted to pack (of their own) in the tiny box for my kids and two cans of tuna and a jar of pickle relish. She wrote: Dinner is done! Don't forget tuna melts! They're so easy. Just add mayonnaise to this stuff and one more meal is over! I LOVED that gift. We had tuna melts that very night. I think of her every time we have them still.

Offer to take the bigger kid(s) for a few hours while mom and baby have some time to themselves. What a gift! And fun for everyone. The bigger kids are likely ready to bust out of the house on an adventure and would do well with some personal attention.

A visit to clean the bathrooms. Can you imagine this one? If someone just showed up with their own cleaning supplies and offered to deep clean your bathroom? Kerah had this done by my sister-in-law Lisa, and I think it's awesome. I'd for sure be embarrassed at the state of my bathrooms, but I'd be way more grateful than embarrassed! (clearly you'd have to check with the mom!)

Anyway. The point of this list is to remind MYSELF that I can do small things for others. I can do way less than my imaginative heart wants to do. But I still have to do it. I can't just keep thinking that I should drop off a Pioneer Woman Lasagna with homemade bread and amazing Cesar salad if it never happens. That doesn't count. Even if the meal was going to be amazing in my head. What I can do is run to the Co op and get a tub of their fresh soup and a loaf of their best crusty bread and drop it off quickly at the house. I don't have to wrap it beautifully. I don't have to include a nice card. Those are only hurdles that I will never jump to actually get the gift to the mom-in-need of a gift. So keep it simple. I can do less. But I have to do it.

Hope this helps. It helps me a lot!

this I believe

This picture has nothing to do with this post. But how fun that we have an owl living in our duck box!

***

Two years ago we were at a church that was reading through The Story, a summation of the Bible. Each week we read a chapter that the pastor preached on and our small group discussed.

Our small group was awesome. We were a really varied group, lots of different life experiences in the room and faithful to meet each week. Our friend Derrick was in the group, a pastor who now has a ministry that he runs in America and Israel. Derrick is one of those teachers that I hear teach and what he says has immediate impact in my life. Do you know this kind? I could probably list a dozen pastors and teachers and mentors that I simply hear better than others. When they speak their words go right to my heart. Derrick is one of those.

All through the reading of The Story, Derrick added his discoveries and fun facts to all we were reading.

I remember when we were reading through Exodus Derrick explained how each of the ten plagues correlated directly to an Egyptian god, so that each and every plague was a direct offense to that false god's followers.

And then they got to the Red Sea. And Derrick explained that even today, when you visit the Red Sea, there is a beach that stretches a mile or two wide. On either side of this beach is rock that would be pretty impossible to pass. But this beach is there, and it leads to a land bridge under the water, just 70 feet deep, also of sand that goes across the bottom of the Sea to meet up with another beach on the other side. The land bridge is also a mile or two wide, and on either side of the land bridge the water drops dramatically down to great depths.

He mentioned that this would be a great place to part the waters to let a million people pass through. And then he showed us images of this beach along with photos of the coral patterns on this land bridge that are in the shape of chariot wheels.

I remember sitting there, looking at the screen and I felt very skeptical. This all seemed rather convenient. Where are these images from again? I'd like to see this for myself.

But then the study continued. And we read of the journey following the crossing of the Red Sea, and Derrick showed us a map of the area, with the timeline written out from Exodus with how many days they traveled by foot from place to place. One of the pictures was a mountain that is no longer called Sinai, but is the one that he believes (and many others) was where God spoke to Moses. Interestingly, the top of this mountain is charred black, unlike any other in the area.

There were may more pictures and image that showed actual (and plausible) locations for the scenes from the story. I want to tell you what it did for me. Seeing these images, whether I thought they were the actual location of not, helped me momentarily suspend my disbelief, and I began to imagine how these events could have actually, literally played out. I began to hear the story as factual. Not as the epic tale of the exodus of God's people to the Promised Land, but as a real-it-actually-happened-exactly-as-written-account of this incredible history.

I can't quite pinpoint it but somewhere along the line I had decided that much of the Bible was great metaphor. That the reality of the events didn't matter so much as the message in the story.

But walking through the Bible, the written word of God, with these new eyes of belief began to change things for me and made me wonder new things. Mostly it made me wonder where in the Bible I had drawn the line that separated my belief and unbelief.

Listening to Derrick, and hearing and seeing his evidence of each historical event made me feel a whole lot like doubting Thomas who was given the grace to touch the holes in Jesus' hands and sides. A lot of people see that story of doubting Thomas as sort of a tisk tisk on Thomas for not believing without seeing. Jesus even calls the person who believes without seeing blessed. But I have always thought the story of doubting Thomas is full of grace. Because Jesus still let Thomas touch his scars. He still gave Thomas the fleshy evidence that Thomas needed to believe.

That feels like grace to me, and I felt especially close to Thomas as I tried to draw the line of metaphor to factual event. This was a long process. There were lots of conversations. I read a lot and prayed even more. I just wanted the truth.

About a year later, the Holy Spirit became very, very real in my life. Incredible wonders were seen right with my own doubting eyes and ears. It felt like God took me here first because he needed me to know that he is indeed alive and active today. That he is the God of the universe and is as big today as he was in the stories I was wrestling through. There are a few personal stories from that season that shook my faith in incredible ways. And because of those experiences, I decided to believe God could be big enough to be God.

Honestly, that was the heart of the matter for me. Was the God I had just experienced in power able to do all that he says he can do? Or is he unable to close the jaws of hungry lions? Is God unable use a young boy to kill an enemy giant? Is He not able to speak through dreams? Could God not keep a man alive inside of a whale? Is God unable to call two of every kind of animal to a boat? Is creating the universe in six literal days too difficult a task? Is God unable to resurrect his own son? Of course not. He is God, and able to do all things.

I have sat here in this new place for almost a year. It's a place that fully embraces the entirety of the Bible as true. Factual. Historical. Exactly as written. And I will tell you, it is a peaceful place. I read the Bible with so much more interest and openness. The Word of God speaks to me so clearly now, largely because I am not proof reading the text for errors.

This stance is definitely contrary to what the world is teaching. And it likely puts me in a camp that others would label simple minded.  But I am okay with that, even though it's not true. I have read more about carbon dating discrepancies and dinosaur soft tissue and sediment layers from flooding in the past year than ever before. And I see the history written in God's word with more clarity each day. As God's Word has come alive, God's World has also taken on new life.

And then there is this bottom line: When I read the Bible, I find the whole thing so believable. And I feel an overwhelming gratitude for seeing the truth. The Bible makes so much sense to me lately, especially because the world is such a mess. When I read the Bible I find the same mess, stemming from the same sins, from the same people rejecting God and mocking his commands. I just find it all so believable. And I take such great comfort in that. The Bible throws everything into the light and I can see that when you're not plainly listening to the Lord to direct your steps, sin creeps in and will gladly lead you astray.

This has me praying more than ever before and again, sincerely feeling grateful to have God's Word..for boundaries, for the law, for grace, for Jesus, for forgiveness, for second chances, for hope and eternal life, joy and provision. I'm so thankful for all of it.

When Adam and Eve ate the fruit that was not for them, it was because Satan whispered in Eve's ear, "did God really say..." and with these words, Satan planted a seed of doubt in Eve's heart wondering if God really was who he said he was. One of my favorite children's Bible's says that when God found out they had eaten the fruit he was heartbroken because now they would doubt who He was and begin to think they knew more than Him.

That is exactly what I see in the fallen world around me. A whole lot of people who think they know more than God. That they've out reasoned the Word of God. It's the oldest sin in the book. First introduced by Eve and Adam, and still creeping into every human heart, "did God really say?"

And you know, we can answer that question boldly. Yes. God really did say don't eat that fruit. God really did say to follow His commands. God really did lay down a law that is for our own good. God really did send Jesus to save us from every way we fall short of that law, the Word made flesh. And it's all recorded in the history written out in those 66 books. I have decided to believe all of it because it all leads to life as God intended from the very beginning.

paleo pumpkin pancakes

I just completed my second month of going grain-free. I've written about this eating plan here. And the truth is, for my body and energy levels, this is just how I have to eat. Everything stabilizes for me when I eat grain-free. I'm a nicer mom, a more even-keel wife and a better person!

I checked out a book at the library called Practical Paleo that I love so, so much. It explained a lot of what my body was experiencing with sugar crashes, but was easy to read and came with incredible recipes.

This one is for Pumpkin Pancakes. It is basically eggs, canned pumpkin and a tablespoon of Coconut flour (found right by the regular flour...) with a lot of spices too. I love this recipe. I had tried the 2-ingredient pancakes that are everywhere (mashed banana and eggs) but as Rory pointed out to me, "it's basically a banana omelet, right?" And I could never get past that thought. These pancakes are also eggy, but the pumpkin seems to mellow the egg a lot and with the other spices it seemed more like a legit pancake. (Also, I doubled the recipe and next time will triple it. My kids loved these.)

And at the end of the day, they are basically a great vehicle to enjoy our fresh maple syrup.

Paleo Pumpkin Pancakes, original recipe found here
4 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup pumpkin puree
1-2 T. coconut flour
2 T. melted butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 baking soda
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or check linked recipe for spice breakdown)
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch of salt

Mix wet ingredients together. Sift in dry. (Or just dump slowly, my way of sifting!)
Grease your skillet and make your pancakes. It took me a while to figure out when to flip them...I waited too long on the first few. Finally got it by the end.

Enjoy!

our fourth child

Here's our baby! All bundled up in a ball, with a fist right by it's face. We don't know the gender and will wait to be surprised. When I told the ultrasound tech that we didn't want to know the gender said, "Oh, I haven't had one of you in a long, long time..." But we are excited to be surprised. :) And everything looked great at the ultrasound. We are already in love.

To be pregnant with your 4th child is a bit surreal. This pregnancy, on the whole, has had very mild symptoms and between that fact and the fact that I am chasing my other three, I often forget that I am pregnant at all. There are so many days that I wonder, "why am I so exhausted?!!" And then I remember I am growing a life. And chasing a one year old. And homeschooling two others. And feeding a family. And then I remember to go take a nap.

But I am definitely carrying our fourth child, so here are some highlights that I want to remember from this pregnancy:

1) My number one craving for the past 24 weeks has been vitamin D milk. That's right. The milk with the red cap. Labeled whole milk. We have it for Hattie's bottles, but I cannot get enough. It is my go-to all day long. My stomach must be really acidic this pregnancy because it is my tall glass of cold whole milk that calms things down for me. I drink a glass first thing in the morning and any other time I feel a little unsettled. Rory has been known to say, "honey, please, save some for Hattie." (Also, I always have a hankerin' for Culver's chicken strips. I could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner it seems.)

2) Along those same lines, I have not been able to stomach a sip of coffee since I got pregnant. And believe me, I need my coffee these days! But it just does not appeal at all. It makes my stomach feel sour, even thinking about it. So I've gone to tea, which is better anyway, but not quite the same little caffeine happiness that a cup of coffee brings.

3) My gag reflex is strong. I've never been quite this sensitive, but once offended, there is only one ending (and it's not a pretty one.) Rory has seen this many times in action, sometimes relating to changing a Hattie diaper, sometimes when having to put dirty dishes (with ketchup!) in the dishwasher, sometimes when it's time to empty the kitchen sink drain. All of those can be offensive to the point of no return. Thankfully, if caught early enough, a good glass of milk and some fresh air can usually get the train back on track. Again, that milk! We need a cow.

4) Elsie never forgets that I am pregnant. She prays for the baby, talks to it, kisses it, tells me that she will give a teeny piece of cake to the baby on her birthday because the baby will be so teeny at her party! And Ivar will say out of the blue, "I just can't believe we are having our fourth baby. That it's really going to happen and it will be so fun." 

5) My joy for this baby is enormous. I may have wondered if it would feel routine by now, but not at all. In fact, when I think of this baby I always hear the words, "pure gift." I believe all of my kids have been a gift from God, so this shouldn't be a new thought. But I think this baby is just going to be a sweet addition, a sweet gift, a cherry on top. We are nearly 24 weeks along. Time is flying and this baby is coming. We cannot wait to meet you! 

prayer for joy

Last Sunday morning Rory and I were getting ready for church and I could see the weight of the world on his shoulders. He has a huge work deadline on March 1 and it is a big deal. Coupled with the goats, maple trees, farm chores and family life, we feel near the brink around here. But I saw him carrying this heavy load and knew it wasn't right.

Our family has spent a lot of time talking about Habakkuk 3:17-18 and what it means to rejoice in all things. Those verses say, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen, and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, and I will be joyful in God my Savior." We don't put our trust in what we have or our abilities. Our trust is in God alone. We love those verses and want our kids to know the relief that comes in trusting God as our Provider and fully trusting in His hand for our daily manna.

So I told Rory that I think even with the overwhelm in our family, it is nearing disobedience to be stressed and burdened. We know better. We know where our hope comes from. We have chosen to trust in One God, One Lord and Savior of us all. And we have seen the evidence of our Loving God's hand over and over and over in our lives.

I told him that we needed joy added back into our days. Even during this crazy month. The thing about joy, though, is that you cannot muster it up. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. You may be able to put on a happy face, but joy isn't something we create. It's a good gift from the Spirit.

We went to worship and had a wonderful morning. We love our church so much and come home each week overflowing with Living Water. Sunday night we prayed together for joy to fill our home. To fill our family, to fill our individual hearts. Our Sunday and Monday were good, but by Tuesday I was spent. As Rory has been working at full throttle, I have been holding the rest of our life together. And when he came home Tuesday for dinner I was exhausted and just wanted to get through dinner.

He had Hattie in his arms and came over to me by the oven and said, "I wish I could make you laugh as easily as I can make Hattie laugh. All I have to do for her is blow raspberries on her cheek." He demonstrated and Hattie erupted in laughter. Then he grabbed me and blew raspberries on my cheek. Which was humorous. But then Hattie got excited about this game and lunged her whole body at my other cheek and suddenly I had a drippy nose and an open and wet baby mouth slobbering on my cheek. She sat back and clapped for herself, pleased to be a raspberry blower like her daddy. And something broke in me and laughter overtook my body.

It was over the top. I started laughing and it was instant hysterics. Ivar and Elsie sat at the kitchen table waiting for their tuna melts and Ivar said, "Dad, is mom laughing or crying?" And Rory replied that he did not know, probably both with pregnancy mixed in. And then it was contagious. The whole meal we shared hard, belly laughs about different things. Elsie told about how she could smile with her mouth but still have sad eyes and this led to some hilarious faces made by each member of our family. Every topic that came up made us laugh.

A holy laughter filled our kitchen the whole meal. And something lifted off of our house and our hearts. Rory has had a swing in his step ever since. I have felt a gratitude for so many things, but particularly this power that we have been given to pray for joy, and then to receive such a good gift from the Holy Spirit.

Today at church we shared testimony's of what the Lord has done and I thought about sharing this story, but there were so many people stepping up to share the goodness of God that I decided just to listen. But I wanted to share this testimony here. Trust and obedience, prayer and belief all yield incredible fruit. The ability to ask for Joy might just be my favorite.

the snowy day

Two days ago we were outside running around in t-shirts. We all got a winter getaway for about five days which was wonderful. We knew it wouldn't last and my kids and I were outside every moment we could savor. Yesterday was chilly so we spent the day getting ready for today...we checked out 32 books from the library and went to Aldi to stock up on groceries. Now we're all hunkered down and it feels great. We woke up to this scenery this morning and more is falling as I type.

I have started using Instagram again, but this time I am posting @thegrovestead. I really enjoy that quick way of documenting a moment and hope you'll bounce over there to see our pictures. Instagram always takes away from the blog a bit...I feel like, "well, that story was shared already..." But it is just so easy to share parts of our day that way. That said, I am FAR TOO WORDY to turn fully to instagram. You all know I need my space to write.

So click on over to the grovesteads instagram page. Rory tried for a long time to connect this blog to our instagram account, but Blogger hasn't made any updates to their site in a long, long time. We'll keep working to make it easy as possible, so keep an eye on the right side of this blog for easy links and slideshows. Until then, just click here. And then click on any picture to read the caption. :)

Hattie's babies

Elsie has never played with dolls. She doesn't trust them. Well, she doesn't like their eyes. Since she was two, she has bunched up her baby blanket and called it "Baby Pinky." And she treats it just like a baby, feeding it a bottle, rocking it when it cries...but there is in fact no baby in there. Just the blanket. She got a doll last Christmas at the Harrington Christmas and the eyes would open and close and she got one look out of the wrapping paper and cried right in the middle of gift opening. Dolls are just not her thing.

So I have been so surprised and delighted by Hattie's love of dolls. We had three dolls that she would hold every so often, but then a few weeks ago our neighbor girls invited us over to see if we wanted any of their playroom toys that they were going to give away. We came home with an incredible amount of toys, and mostly dolls (5!) and doll gear: a double stroller, high chair, carrier, and rocking cradle. Honestly, I was most excited for myself. I love everything that we got to bring home!

When we got home it was Hattie who started putting the babies in the stroller and walking it around. She shoved one baby in the high chair and gave it the play bottle. She calls her bottle her Na, and she kept saying, "Na! Mama! Na!"

As it turns out, she calls all of her babies Mama. And she plays so hard. She moves them all around and now that her babies are up in her room, she gets them situated and then reads a book in her chair.

I'm so delighted by her playtime. And in a surprise twist, Elsie has joined in, following Hattie's lead.

no, how about...

Elsie would like me to play with her every minute of every day. She is my sidekick and gladly helps me with my jobs so that we can play house after. I have tried to explain that we are actually living house together every minute of every day, but clearly that is not the same as playing house.

So today, like most days, I decided I would play with her for 30 minutes, uninterrupted, exactly as she wishes. No diversions, no phone, no trying to sneak out of the game. I would be in it fully. Here are the highlights:

E: How about this is a ship and Hattie is the mom and we are the little sisters. How about I just caught this salmon and we are making it for dinner. 

B: Sounds great. I'll put it on this fire I just made.

E: No, how about I already cooked it, so you just have to cut it up.

B: Okay. I'll chop it up and give it to Mama to put on our plates.

E: No, how about I put it on the plates because I caught it. How about I do all the cooking and cleaning because I love it. Actually, how about I am the Mama and Hattie is the baby.

B: Great thinking. I love that plan. How about I have to go change the baby up in her room and put her in an outfit for the day?

E: How about the stairs are a mountain, and so you only need a water suit to swim to the stairs and then you climb to the land that is upstairs. (once upstairs) Hey Ivar! Do you want to play house with us? 

I: Sure. Let's pretend I am the bear that is sleeping through winter. And this closet is my cave and I build legos in here all winter long. (clever kid. I take note of his clever ways...)

E: Great! 

B: I have the baby changed, Mama. Let's go back to the boat.

E: No, how about you don't say that. I say that. Because I'm the Mama. Let's go back to the boat kids!

B: Thanks Mama. I love having you as the leader.

E: How about this is your bed I just made for you and you love it. No, how about your head goes at this end. So turn around. And let's pretend it's winter so tomorrow the water will be ice and we will ice skate! How about the baby is always wearing her water suit so if she walks off the boat she doesn't drown or anything. How about she is a baby who can even swim! 

B: That is a safe idea. 

E: How about when you were sleeping I went to get more food, and when you woke up you were sad because you didn't know where I was.

B: Mama? Where are you? I can't find you and I feel sad. 

E: No, how about you don't cry that hard. You just say the words. And how about when I come back you are so happy to see me.

B: Mama, I am so happy to see you! I felt sad when you were gone and now I'm so glad you're back.

E: You don't need to feel sad when I am gone. I am here now.

I could go on and on and on and on and on and on. Because this went on and on and on and on for 30 minutes. You might be interested to know that the bear came out of hibernation and proceeded to terrorize the people on the boat and that this new story line was not received well by the captain of the ship. 

Elsie is a riot. I love her so much. And I knew I had to write this one down because these are the days to remember. And what feels like monotony today will surely feel like magic down the road.

Every and Blowa

Somewhere in that sea of children is a father who is adored by his kids. 

Well, I'm blog-logged. I feel like I have so much to write and say, and don't know where to begin. For sure I have two big posts in me: one on all the emotions we felt during the birth of our adorable goats, Cici and Presh. The other post will be on my amazing weekend trip to Seattle with my sister, folks and brother to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday. Those posts are being held up because I think I threw away the cord that gets my pics from my phone to my computer. I'm sure I could use the cloud or something fancy, but I still regularly use my CD player-boombox that I got in 1999, so I just need to find that cord.

In the meantime, I just want you to know that my kids are really into playing house and that for three days in a row Hattie has been assigned the role of the grandma. She has a stuffed animal the is Grandpa. And she can be a cantankerous grandma so I hear a lot of "No! Grandma! Stop pulling the roof off! Now go take a nap again!"

And I want you to know that Elsie woke up yesterday and told me she wanted to "go to lots of different places for just a short time." I told her that was called running errands. But that wasn't it. She said, "no. it's like when we go to Cub, and the bank and another store. I just love that!" I confirmed that is definitely called running errands. And she said, "Well that is what I want to do today then." So we ran errands.

Also, Elsie decided the name for the new baby will be Blowa if it is a boy. Her exact quote (and she is so quotable lately...) was, "It rhymes with Noah, a good Hebrew name." Where she got that, I will never know, but she is right. If it is a girl, Ivar has chosen Every, straight out of his reading book. When he read "every" he stopped and said, "oh that is pretty. we should name our baby that if it is a girl." Blowa or Every. Rory and I have a few other options up our sleeves...

And here's the father, peeking out of the children...

a baby goat is born!

I was dreaming that I was back at Gustavus, moving into my dorm room with my roommate Jill. And then Rory knocked on the dorm door and asked if I wanted to grab dinner with him at the caf. I was processing how fun it would have been to be in love in college, sort of thinking about the dream while I was still in it. It was one of those perfect dreams with no conflict, and so, so good. We walked outside and Gustavus took on some Ivy League campus in the fall, glorious and stunning. And Rory took my hand and we started walking towards the caf. And then from a far away land, I heard that same Rory whisper-yell, "BECCA! THERE IS A BABY GOAT!"

I woke up so confused and listened to my six year old jump off his bunk and pound his legs down the stairs yelling, "I'm coming Dad!" And moments later I heard the front door slam and shake the whole house. 

I thought some more about my dream and realized that even though I didn't get Rory in college, I get him for the rest of my life. 

Elsie came in my room and reminded me that this is the day she wants to stay in a "cozy bath all day, except for mealtimes." We went downstairs and watched the baby goat and mama's in their goat pen on the live stream Rory has hooked up. And after her cereal, we ran her cozy bath. 

You can watch the fun too! I believe this is what happens when you mix a computer programmer with a hobby farm. Rory has set up a youtube channel to watch the goats. Precious is the newest mama, and Ivar thinks her baby will be named Presh. Which is presh. And Darcy is in full labor as I type this. It should be an exciting day of viewing! 

YouTube Live Stream:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nObZbwcPjF4

I don't know when I've ever been so amused...

Oh my word this blows my mind. This is hilarious. And we could probably make a killing hosting this in our barn but we most definitely will not. Because it is absurd. And weird. And goats poop and pee all the time, as they will. Thank you Kathy, for sending this on to me! I have not laughed so hard in a long, long time!

a whole bundance

Elsie has started helping me with the laundry and it is sincerely so, so helpful. I love her company. I love her narration of the task at hand. I love that I have a partner in crime. She told me, "Mom, look at this on the bed. I am really folding a bundance of kitchen towels!"

Watching my kids vocabulary grow has always been one of my very favorite parts of motherhood. I think it is for everyone..it's just so entertaining. Today Ivar was protesting the movie that Elsie wants to watch for family movie night. He said, "Elsie, I don't want to watch Ben Hur! It's just so awkward!" It's an animated version my dad got for us to watch. I asked Ivar, "what do you mean, awkward?" And Ivar's eyes went huge like a dear caught in the headlights and he said, "I have no idea what that word means. That was my first time using it!"

winter survival skills

I took a class on winter survival my senior year of high school. That class was geared towards car kits with flares and granola bars, and learning how to build a shelter in the snow. But the kind of survival I am talking about today is the one where a woman may look aghast at her calendar and say, "what on earth? Is it STILL January?!!" Longest month ever. Plus, we're on a tight budget and ran out of food money nine days ago. For real January, let it go.

But it got me to thinking about the things I do to make it through with my spirits high. Because, as your may remember, I have regrouped my seasons and My Winter is actually January, February and March. It sets March up with much more realistic expectations. It's going to snow a lot that month...might as well call it winter. Which means we are just 1/3 through this season.

I actually do love winter, but mostly because of the hibernation and hunkering it naturally brings. Which is why I wanted to share my favorite winter survival skills:

1. Kiwi, orange and banana salad. Just these three. Just one of each. Cut up into a fruit salad. I swear it turns into a different food entirely. Somehow it all balances each other out and because all are in season all winter long, it can feel like a little tropical get away. Try it before you knock it. It's my favorite.

2. Hot Baths. Honestly, people who don't have winter just can't get the gift of a hot bath. Or a hot shower, for that matter. We just read The Long Winter to the kids, where the Ingalls family nearly starves to death waiting for the train to come through the snow drifts in late, late April. Blizzards come for days at a time and only leave for one or two days. It's terrible. Rory mentioned that he couldn't imagine not having a hot shower...ever. That whole generation died before they knew the goodness of a hot shower! Don't take it for granted!

3. A roaring fire. This isn't completely fair because most don't have a fireplace. We dreamed of our fireplace and talked about it and even made fake paper fireplaces on our living room walls for a decade. But when you are bone cold, there is NOTHING like standing next to a roaring hot stove. It's such a good, radiant heat.

4. Grapefruits, peeled like an orange and then each section peeled again. There is no other way to eat a grapefruit. Get rid of that sharp spoon and learn from my ways. My uncle Wayne taught me this method and I can never go back. To take a bite of an enormous wedge of grapefruit in the dead of winter? Well it's worth all the work and mess off peeling the whole thing. It will reset your mood, outlook and will become a daily ritual. Just the smell alone will do wonders.

5. Winter photography. This is a favorite. When I'm feeling like it, it is so good to get outside and look for what is beautiful. There is so much. We recently had a snow that coated each tree in white on just one side. I looked out my windows and thought there is just no better painting in the world than the one God changes for us each day.

6. Tea Time with Popcorn! Do this! I was recently at Cub and looking at microwave popcorn. And then I saw a bag of whole kernels for a fraction of the price, for like 10 times the amount of popcorn. And I thought, "Aunt Louie pops her own popcorn. How hard can it be?" And thank you Aunt Louie! It's not hard! At all! I don't even have a pan with a proper fitting lid, and I still can do it. (look it up on youtube, lots of videos..it's a cinch, try it with coconut oil...yum!) Anyway, each day at 3:00 when my kids start saying they're hungry I have been making popcorn and tea. (They love tea now that Mary and Laura drank so much in The Long Winter. We're really into Good Earth Sweet and Spicy...thanks to some recommendations here on the blog!) What used to be a long and dragging part of our day has become a highlight. We sit and sip and eat and talk and regroup for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Hattie loves popcorn too.

7. An electric blanket. So excited about this. I don't know if a night has passed where Rory or I don't say, "this blanket is the best." Bed is already heated when you crawl in. 2017 is a fine time to be alive. An electric blanket is just a sweet luxury that isn't that expensive.

8. Good books. I have been listening to The Read Aloud Revival podcast that shares great, wholesome books to read aloud to the whole family. (they have a book list of recommendations on their site to print off!) Along the way I have heard many titles that are too old for my kids, but I want to read. My list is long and the books are rich and good. Classics, or certain to be classics. And you tell me if you're not hungry for a good story of good people doing the right thing!

9. Playdates. Winter is such a catch 22 because the second you plan a playdate, someone gets sick. But we persevere because eventually it works out and friendship is good for everyone.

10. Go to be early. I love this one. Especially because I'm pregnant and exhausted. But isn't it nice to have permission to go to bed before 10, just because it's that dark? In the summer, Rory and I will putter in the yard until 10 most nights, working on projects. But not in winter. There have been many nights at dinner that I announce, I am going to bed with the kids tonight. And when 7:00 rolls around, I'm the first one with my teeth brushed and contacts out.

So there is my list. I'd love to hear if you have any other favorites to add. You'll note I'm not super active this winter. I daily walk would be good addition, but hard with all the little people (and snowpants drama) it involves. But do share! I really do love winter because of the list above. And I'd love to add more to my list!

good lookin' goat

I remember at the County Fair walking into the goat building and telling Rory that I was on a mission to "find the cute goats." We walked the loop of that building, and I was hard pressed to find a cute goat. They are odd, odd animals. Most disturbing are the really tall kind that are the top milk producers. I can't remember their name but they didn't have ears. And I can't remember it that was because they were clipped or if they were born that way, but either way it was terribly unnatural. And their heads were very small for their bodies. They were far from the cute goats I was looking for.

Well, we didn't find them at the fair, but I did eventually find the cute goats. They're ours. And just between you and me, I am sure they look exactly like the ones we saw at the fair that day. Except these goats are our sweet Darcy and Precious. And we love them so much. They are probably our favorite farm animals, right up there with Velma and Vernon, our very first farm cats. Sheep are interesting and show very little personality it seems. But goats are just awesome.

I took this picture recently and when we came in I zoomed way in to discover that Darcy the Goat is in fact smiling for the camera. Come on! Not only do we think Darcy and Precious are darling, but we also find them to be quite photogenic. Plus,we are expecting baby goats sometime in February from both of them. Can you imagine the cuteness?!!