Springtime picture books!

I am so excited just to pass this resource along!

I love our library, and the kids love it too. We go to Lego Time when we can and our library has a really huge creative play area where they can play store, kitchen, mailman, and ice cream shop.

My trouble is in picking out good books. The kids usually pick them out (lots of disney-character books), and I usually discover what we checked out when we get home. And let me tell you, there are some duds out there.

This is why I was so excited to find Read-Aloud Revival! Because not only does she have a book list of her all-time favorite books per age, she also sends out a book list each month with THE BEST picture books to read during that month. She is Christian and notates when a book has a Christian message. And the other books are just good, wholesome, awesome, beautiful books with uplifting and good messages.

Her April book list just came out and the books are all about gardening, Easter, baby animals and the change from winter to summer... SPRING!

I print the list out, sit down with my computer and open our library website. Then I select to search from All Libraries and reserve each book I can find. This month I was able to reserve 24 out of her 28 recommended springtime books. (None of which were at my actual library, but will come from other libraries in southern Minnesota.) And they look stunning. I can't wait for them to arrive!

So go check out Read-Aloud Revival and sign up for her emails so you start receiving her book lists. These are the stories we want our kids to read!

I'm 36!

I have written about this before, but I still champion this idea so I'm going to write about it again. A few years ago I took Rory off the hook for my birthday. I have high expectations for my birthday and was always hoping that maybe he could magically read my mind when March 18th came around. As it turns out, he could not read my mind. But I could! So I started planning my own special day from start to finish.

I recommend this SO MUCH. Because I know I'm not alone in this. I know too many stories of the big day ending in disappointment and tears. But I really believe your birthday is your responsibility when you become an adult. It just is. So whether I am turning 36 or 66 or 96, I will continue to plan my day. It's not my husband's job, not my children's, not my friend's. It's mine. And you know what? All my expectations are met when I plan the day.

So Saturday was my big day, and I was ready for it. Friday night I cleaned the kitchen and hung my own pennants. I set the table for a fun brunch party with my family, bought my own coffee cake and woke up early to meet a bunch of girlfriends for a birthday breakfast. I invited every one of them and told them not to bring a gift or a card, but to just pay for their own pancakes. I love beginning the day with friends. It's good to feel loved by girlfriends at the start of the day!

When I got home the kids were ecstatic to give me their cards and to have coffee cake (which, I can't actually eat because of my no-grain eating plan...but I bought the cake mostly for them because it is very important to have your kid's buy in for your big day!)

But in a crazy surprise Rory had spent the morning making me a very complicated Paleo Chocolate Pie! Now here is an added bonus to letting your husband off of the birthday hook: anything he does is genuinely appreciated because it is bonus! And not done out of birthday obligation. I was so surprised and impressed. We had this chocolate pie a few weeks ago with friends and I loved every crumb. It is coconut cream, dates and melted chocolate (and other things) on a walnut crust. I told Rory that I would have been really intimidated to attempt that recipe and he said, "oh, I was."

I spent the afternoon making special foods for a Seder meal we had the next day (that I'll write about tomorrow.) And that was a great task too: to try a whole bunch of new recipes. I really enjoyed playing in the kitchen all afternoon. At 3:00 we dropped the kids off at my friend Allyson's house and she watched them for four hours. I'll return the favor on her birthday in two weeks. Genius! And we lined it up, because we are adults!

Rory and I went to a coffee shop and talked for a few hours and then out to dinner. And it was so great. I told him on the drive to pick up the kids, "I love time with you. I love when we get to finish a conversation." And it's so true. Our communication can be so fragmented and interrupted with so many vying for our attention. The joy of our date night was really getting to talk.

We picked the kids up, put them to bed and then watched a documentary on Sugar while eating the incredible chocolate pie. Perfect. 

in this season of life...

I thought of this post tonight while I took a hot bath and it made me laugh a bit and want to document this slice of life.

In this season of life we are playing Uno all. the. time. Ivar and Elsie love it. Hattie loves to grab cards close to the edge of the table. I enjoy the quick games and can't believe how long the long games can be!

In this season of life everything is about being fair. Raisins are counted. Cheerios are counted. Mothers are losing their mind. Two halves are measured against the other. Apple sauce levels are scrutinized. You would think these children were starving. You'd think this mom was unskilled at cutting things fairly. You'd think there was a shortage of cheerios.

In this season of life there is always dried toothpaste on the bathroom counter.

In this season of life Elsie changes her outfits four times a day. I once explained to her that only the dirty outfits need to go in the laundry basket, and eventually I figured out that those outfits are actually all dirty. Elsie wins for most laundry every single week.

In this season of life our couches are taken apart daily for forts and every blanket, chair and table are utilized to make large, amazing, precarious structures.

In this season of life we have spaghetti once a week because everyone cheers when I tell them that spaghetti is the plan for dinner.

In this season of life our toilet paper is either in a pile under the dispenser or piled back on the dispenser after someone found it unrolled on the floor.

In this season of life we all watch Rory leave in the morning and wave to him from window #1, and quickly move to window #2 and #3 as he drives down the road. He is well loved.

The thing that made me laugh about this list, as I thought about it in the tub, is that we will likely be in this season for the next many years! Baby #4 is starting this whole train from the beginning, and I guess I just see a lot more Uno, forts, spaghetti, dried toothpaste, unrolled toilet paper and dirty laundry in my future!

motherhood in march in minnesota is monotonous.

How's that for a blog title! You know how I do love alliteration.

Recently Rory and I had a really helpful conversation. It was without a lot of emotion, just an honest conversation about the challenge I am feeling while at home with three kids and how being home with kids all day can be lonesome and get really boring. Not that there is ever a lack of things to be done. There are always dishes, laundry, meals to make, cleaning, lesson planning and baths to fit in. But those tasks, day over day, (as they are for any mother in any circumstance) can make a lady weary. And even though this is what I chose, and even though I feel positively blessed to get to be home, the days can be so long, the time in the kitchen can feel unending and personal time feels like a taunt.

Also, motherhood in March in Minnesota is sort of the ultimate test. It's time for the change of seasons in lots of ways, but the seasons aren't changing. There is a special stamina needed to get through March...

The tricky thing is that I am not actually sure what would leave me feeling recharged. When Rory's cousin Kerah was here we talked about this and how it is tricky. Because time with friends is great and needed, but so is time alone. But that alone time almost has a pressure of its own, making sure it is utilized well. I have found that a hot bath and a good book does wonders for me. And I like the idea of time in the house alone but that requires everyone else go somewhere, which is hardly an option with naps and routines. So then I try to get out of the house, but quickly I make it a practical outing, getting groceries or diapers or picking up pictures that have been waiting for me for months. The days with little kids is just a sacrificial season. And that likely is the point. A mom has to draw near to God when the days feel long and the mess is constant.

But I do have this idea lately of creating play centers for myself around the house, just for me. Things that would add little bits of mom-fun throughout my day. Like a little spot to make something creative. Or a letter writing station to send some paper love to another. Or favorite podcasts to play, always having a great book to pick up, an awesome stack of magazines from the library, worship music playing in the background. Baking is always a good option for me. When life is so reactionary to little ones and their needs are constant, I really have to be better about giving myself little breaks.

Anyway, I thought this was all a worthy topic to write about. Motherhood can be very monotonous. And monotony can be a real mind-game to conquer! For a mom with young kids, there are refining fires all around that are hopefully building the best character in her heart as possible: patience, self-control, gentleness, kindness... The ones that you have to learn through trial and error, grace and forgiveness and new mornings when we get to pray for God's Spirit to give those needed fruits for the new day with the same kids doing the same thing. :)

So I'm off to make little play centers for myself. And I'm super excited about this!

do less. but do it.

I have always adored my cousins. When I married Rory I got the bonus of all of his cousins...all of whom I would pick as friends. And here I just married into the clan! One of his cousins, Kerah, came for a visit last week and our time was incredible. Again, I'd pick these people as friends and here they are...my family.

Kerah's boys are 13 months apart. Can you even imagine? Baby #2 was a surprise in lots of ways. Even his arrival was a surprise when his mom delivered him in the front seat of their car on their way to the hospital!

We had some of the most helpful conversation I've had a in a long time. I have another blog post in the works with some nuggets from the rest of our time together, but to begin, I think this is a worthy topic to write about.

 I recently saw a picture of me holding Ivar and Elsie right when Elsie was born and it knocked the wind out of me. I remember that season. Those little ones were really little. And really dependent and demanding. And seeing that picture gave me a little glimpse into what is up ahead. Kerah said that she really struggled a few months after her second was born, and I remember those days too, especially after Elsie. Some days were really dark. Postpartum depression is real. And I think it's just good to acknowledge that it comes with some babies. It can feel like a surprise, because you may have not had it with your last baby. But here it is. A cloud of weariness descends.

This wasn't postpartum, but recently I told Rory, "I am feeling so depressed today." And he said, "Oh that makes total sense. We haven't seen the sun in a week, you haven't been out of the house in days and have been caring nonstop for sick, mopey kids. Of course you're feeling depressed. Just let yourself feel it. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to have bad days...those are real emotions that we don't have to always run away from." Then he encouraged me to go out for a walk.

Now I know there are stories and circumstances that require outside help. And I won't dismiss that. But I have to tell you, having Rory acknowledge (and not panic) about my depressed mood was sincerely helpful. I stopped feeling bad about feeling bad and just started taking care of myself in better ways.

We talked about what would be helpful during those dark days...ways that friends could really carry you through that season. Mostly because I feel like I need to make a concrete list for myself so that when fall and winter come (I'm assuming that is when I'll start to feel the weight and hormones of baby #4...that's when I felt it with Elsie. Not when she was born in the summer, but when it got cold and isolated in the winter) I will have some practical ways to ask for help.

Here's what we came up with:
A meal quickly dropped off. Doesn't have to be gourmet. In fact, a Cub Fried Chicken meal, purchased ten minutes before drop off is as welcome as anything. I always over think this one so that I never do anything. I think I should prepare some awesome meal, but that truly is not my gift. However, that doesn't let me off the hook! A gift card to a restaurant in town would be just as kindly received. In so many of these ideas, IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT REALLY, TRULY DOES COUNT.

And then, the meal can be dropped off with a short chat of hello and encouragement. But actually a long visit can also be overwhelming. I think this is encouraging for me as the giver. I can tell Rory, "hey, I'm going to cub to get a chicken dinner for so-and-so and will be home in 45 minutes. Done and done.

A text message. When you think of that person, just drop them a line to tell them. Period. Done frequently, this can mean AS MUCH as a chicken dinner.

A voice mail. We both said that there are moments of mayhem where picking up the phone isn't an option. But to hear a nice message can be life-giving and also can be played over and over and over.

A card or piece of fun mail. Just any sort of hello from the outside world! Motherhood can feel lonely. It just can. I don't think we can fix that, but a nice card or sending someone a good magazine (!!!) would be so well received. I remember I got a box in the mail from my friend Heidi after Elsie was born. It had random toys that her kids wanted to pack (of their own) in the tiny box for my kids and two cans of tuna and a jar of pickle relish. She wrote: Dinner is done! Don't forget tuna melts! They're so easy. Just add mayonnaise to this stuff and one more meal is over! I LOVED that gift. We had tuna melts that very night. I think of her every time we have them still.

Offer to take the bigger kid(s) for a few hours while mom and baby have some time to themselves. What a gift! And fun for everyone. The bigger kids are likely ready to bust out of the house on an adventure and would do well with some personal attention.

A visit to clean the bathrooms. Can you imagine this one? If someone just showed up with their own cleaning supplies and offered to deep clean your bathroom? Kerah had this done by my sister-in-law Lisa, and I think it's awesome. I'd for sure be embarrassed at the state of my bathrooms, but I'd be way more grateful than embarrassed! (clearly you'd have to check with the mom!)

Anyway. The point of this list is to remind MYSELF that I can do small things for others. I can do way less than my imaginative heart wants to do. But I still have to do it. I can't just keep thinking that I should drop off a Pioneer Woman Lasagna with homemade bread and amazing Cesar salad if it never happens. That doesn't count. Even if the meal was going to be amazing in my head. What I can do is run to the Co op and get a tub of their fresh soup and a loaf of their best crusty bread and drop it off quickly at the house. I don't have to wrap it beautifully. I don't have to include a nice card. Those are only hurdles that I will never jump to actually get the gift to the mom-in-need of a gift. So keep it simple. I can do less. But I have to do it.

Hope this helps. It helps me a lot!