weekend at the farm

We spent the weekend at the farm, catching up with cousins and constantly being entertained by this little lady. She is a riot and got me so excited for one of my own. She's a little parrot repeating everything we say and she loves being outside. That's a good thing, because her mama is a farmer, and so she spends a lot of time riding in tractors and investigating the farm yard.

She sports her rainboots well...and puts them to good use.

The boys demo'd this deck on Saturday in order to make room for the sandbox they built. Rory's comment, "last time I was here we shot guns. this time I am swinging a sledge hammer. we have to come here more often."

The new sandbox was a success...but only when her aunt and uncle built the sand castles. She'd tell them "again" or "more" but was leery of getting her own hands full of sticky sand.

Over at my Uncle Jake's farm, a calf was born. I actually heard the labor, but didn't know that was what was happening down there. A while later Uncle Jake told us this calf had just been born. I could have seen the birth! So close! (The black calf by the mama is the brand-new baby. The brown calf is another cow's but wanted to drink this mama's milk because it's so good the first day. The mama cow was not happy with the brown calf and was telling it through word and action to get lost.)

Rory was so happy to get to shoot a gun again. This time they shot clay pigeons and as it turns out, he's a really good shot.

Saturday concluded with a big wiener roast at my Aunt Louie's. Wiener roasts are highly revered tradition in our family...so much so that I had an aunt and uncle who drove from the cities just for supper (a 2 1/2 hour drive each way). You just don't want to miss out on one of these gatherings.

Sunday morning we went to Immanuel, my grandma's church and the church my parents were married in. And we ended our visit with breakfast at the Dunnell Cafe. It was a great weekend, and my heart is full with gratitude for a family that loves each other well.

heartbeat.

Today I woke up and my paper chain had a heart on the next ring. It means we had our heartbeat doctor appointment today. I've been waiting for this day with serious excitement and anticipation and today was finally the day.

I get a daily devotional in my email every morning. Today, the devotional was based on the verse above and it seemed more than perfect. It seemed like a sweet reminder from my loving God, reminding me that the heartbeat we would hear was created SOLELY to worship him. It is for this reason that my own heart is beating. This baby can do anything it wants with its life, but it only has one purpose: to worship God forever.

I've been reading and rereading this verse all day long, thinking about the last part...that worshiping God is for our own good. And not only our own good, but for the good of all of the generations to follow. It dawned on me that I am growing my very first descendant.

We're hopping in the car in a moment to drive to the farm. The farm is really four family farms within 15 minutes of each other, and my grandma is in the middle of them all. This weekend a great number of my relatives are all spending the weekend together and I'm so excited.

My grandma has seven kids of her own, 23 grandchildren, and now with spouses included and great, great, great grandchildren adding to that number, she has over 100 descendants. At last count I think it was 106, but I haven't counted since our last family reunion and babies have been born since then.

This verse grows even bigger when I read it and think of my grandma. She and my grandpa faithfully worshiped the Lord and raised their children with the same purpose. And now, for the good of Grandma, but also for the good of her 106 descendants, she gets to enjoy family weekends with a family that shares one heart and one purpose.

It's inspiring to think about as I try to comprehend the galloping heartbeat Rory and I just heard. It was strong, loud and fast. And created for only one purpose: to worship God forever.

And yes, I cried. Still am, actually.

fried pickles, please.

Just wanted to drop in and mention that I'm still here. I usually blog almost every day, but lately I just work and come home to sleep a lot, and my serious love of naps and an early bedtime are getting in the way of my blogging...

Tonight we went out with the friends we had over for The Olympic Buffet. We met in the Old Market, the most charming corner of Omaha and ate at a great restaurant called the Twisted Fork (I think...). I had that one salad that layers tomatoes and mozzarella with a vinegar dressing. Oh, that's my favorite. So stinking good.

But stealing the show, and my heart, were these appetizers: fried pickles with a horseradish dipping sauce. I don't like horseradish, usually, but tonight turned me into a horseradish believer. In this pregnancy I am craving all things salt and vinegar. And honestly, I could do without anything sweet. The pros and cons of this is that my baby will probably not be at risk of diabetes, but it might come out very hypertensive...and dehydrated. The pickles were like a whole new world of perfection, and all four of us enjoyed them very much.

Plus, they reminded me a lot of the Minnesota State Fair. Which is only 126 days away!

baby, meet your family:

I have had this project on our kitchen table for six weeks now. And yesterday, I decided to finish this bad boy. The idea is from Ali Edwards, taking an old type case and turning it into a picture frame. I found this type case a full year ago at a garage sale, and my sweet husband even hung it on the wall then. But no pictures filled it up until today.

When I first purchased it, I wanted to fill it with my personal cloud of witnesses...all of the people who have who shaped me in significant ways. I thought it would be cool to fill it with old, old pictures of my grandparents, church friends and family, just to always have a tangible place to find my favorite supporters.

But when we got pregnant, I knew immediately that I wanted to fill this things with our baby's cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and great grandparents (and me and Rory!). I think we'll probably hang it over the changing table (up high...I've been warned that is a very dangerous place to hang anything if our baby is a boy...)

I started this project a month and a half ago, first by using a pliers to pull out almost half of the dividing sections. I had to do this, because I wanted bigger pictures, and my type case was divided into lots of tiny rectangles.

Then I used photoshop to resize all of my pictures to fit specific squares on my type case. I measured with a ruler, resized each picture and then tried to keep track of which picture was to go where.

It helped, but in the end, my measuring skills must be off, because each picture was just a tinsy bit too big, and needed recropping all around.

At one point, the pictures were gentle resting above their designated places, but I didn't have time to crop the whole thing before we went to California, so I layed a towel over it for when I could get back to this project. While we were in California, Toonces, our big boned cat found the towel to be a great place to sleep all day.

When I came back, each picture had been forced down by his paws, and I had to use a tweezer to individually pry each one back up before recropping, using double sided tape and sticking them back down. Annoying, double the work, but worth it. I love it.

If you ever do a project similar to this one, I'd recommend using matte finish photos. Mine are glossy, and it means that the whole display is a bit shiny. But that's minor, I suppose.

Mostly, it's just a super fun way to showcase all of my all-time favorite pictures of the families this baby is joining.

week in the life: day one!

Today was my first day of Week in the Life, and I'm excited. I started a day early, because next weekend we'll be out of town and I wanted to get pics of our church community in this album. So I brought my camera to church and got some fun pictures and have been looking for the ordinary all day long. I went to Archivers yesterday with some birthday money from Mom and Dad Groves and got this album and the picture dividers seen below. (Thanks so much!) My mom gave me the scrapbook paper at Christmas, and I am so excited by how they coordinate! I didn't plan that one!

These are the divider pockets, so that I can keep receipts, daily to-do's or anything else that seems appropriate to display along with all of the pictures I am taking. Ali Edwards showed these on her blog on Friday and I was so giddy to find them in the store and try this style myself.

So much of this project is just me trying something new. I know I'm not a master photographer, and I don't have the cute kid pics to fill my pages. It might just be filled with food and Toonces, but that's okay, I suppose. This is our life right now, and that is what I'm really trying to capture.

baby bump

Monday marks week 12 for me, and I am certain lots is happening in there. I am undoubtedly inhabited. Based on my loss of energy, appetite of a teenage boy, sudden hobby of frequent gagging, and the fact that I can put a check mark next to all of the possible symptoms listed in my pregnancy book, I think we're right on track. I am pregnant, and honest to goodness, I love, love, love knowing there is a little life growing inside of me. No matter what the symptoms, I am down right giddy with this joy.

I actually have just one thing I want to say in this post, so I'm going to get right to it.

I wrote about this briefly before, but it is the number one thing I am thinking about with this pregnancy. So here it is: I cannot get over how little I have to do with the creation of this life. On a 5th grade human sexuality level, I understand how this babe was conceived. But, come now, even that makes utterly no sense! The fact that these little itty bitty cells got together and then began to grow into a human being is absolutely beyond my comprehension. It is pure miracle.

I get weekly emails from the baby center and they tell me specific things that are happening inside of me like "this week, your baby is developing a liver" and other important things like that. And I just can't get over how little I have to do with all of this! I eat and I sleep, but at some moment when I was completely unaware, this baby's heart began to beat, its webbed hands spread into fingers, and the earlobes fell into place. And all I've been doing is sleeping and eating...and gagging...

Last night I was at a women's bible study at our church and we were talking about being a mom. I listened mostly, hearing mom's with kids of all ages talk about how hard it is to watch their kids make decisions that have life-lesson consequences. It's in a mom to want to protect their kid from all of these things. In the end, they can guide and direct, but really, at many different points, they have each surrendered their child once again into God's hands.

I listened and thought, that's actually how I feel right now (and my child could not be physically any closer to me!). I feel that sort of surrender and trust that God is shaping and forming this baby, weaving this child in my womb, and that I just get to be a part of its life. Because this whole process has been so hands off...other than good nutrition, I'm not the one forming fingernails on my babe this week.

It's all a wonderous miracle, and I get to be a part of it. It's the greatest privilege I have ever felt. To be entrusted like that. To trust God like that. To know that I have an important role (with Rory, we have the most important earthly role in this baby's life) but that from the very start, this is God's kid.

the heavens declare

I spent today and will spend tomorrow writing our summer Bible study curriculum. It is late in the game, but the curriculum arrived terribly late, was terribly disappointing and necessitated a rewrite. It's a really exciting project though...I love lesson planning, and I love using my imagination as I figure out how to best communicate the reality of our God and how knowing him changes everything in how we live our life in this world and the next.

The theme we chose is from 2nd Corinthians 5:17, focusing on the New Creation we are when we are in Christ Jesus. It's going to be good stuff and I'm so excited. The second day is all about God's creativity in creating the wonders that surround us and the scripture above gave me the chills as I worked it into the teaching lesson for each camper to hear all summer long.

I'd love for you to keep me in your prayers as I work on this project. I really pray that these days of writing can be Holy Spirit days, where I get to be a vessel, and God chooses the words and themes and focus points that he wants his campers to hear each day of the summer ahead.

a favorite website

Well, I went to work yesterday at 10:15, (two and some hours late) stayed for less than an hour and came back home to crawl into bed. Then I woke up and layed low with my laptop for a while and I came across this favorite site...ready for a revisit.

Now I don't know these girls (although I can think of a few role models from my past who might have just fit in with this group in the early 90's). I found this picture on http://www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com/ and it was a pure delight to my sicky day. Take a moment to click over to this site. It will make you laugh out loud.

I'm feeling much better today. I got LOTS of encouraging emails and comments yesterday...thank you, thank you, thank you. And I already have a lost-and-found sleeping bag rolled out on the floor for my lunch break nap. Hooray for naptime!

my get-up-and-go has gotten-up-and-gone

and I'm left wondering if it is okay to be so very unproductive.

I remember my sister calling me a few weeks ago complaining that she didn't have anything to show for her last 13 weeks. And I reminded her gently that she actually had a little 13 week life growing inside of her and two daughters (ages 2 and 4) that she is raising each day that might count as "something to show for." But I think what she meant was nothing above and beyond just getting by and making it from day to day.

Well, sister, let me tell you what. I've been thinking about that conversation a lot this past week, because I am so dog tired lately, so utterly exhausted, that I believe just getting to work should earn me a gold star. And then staying until 5 is basically reason enough to throw a parade. And by parade I mean, drive myself home to nap/snack/and watch tv until it is 9:00 with the last float of that parade throwing my head onto my pillow for my beloved bedtime.

But this is so hard to actually be okay with...vegging like this each evening. I'm a doer. I make to-do lists, and then I get things done. But this just isn't working lately. I have had a project on our table for over a month. Each time we need the table and have to move the entire thing Rory will kindly comment and question, "this is really going to be great. when do you hope to finish it?" And the truth is, it has been number one on my to-do list every night and every weekend for the past four weeks. But somehow when I get home, I just fall into the couch and have trouble climbing back out.

Annika's frustration makes sense to me now. On one level I do want to say, "Becca, you're 11 weeks preggers. Just sit on that couch and take a load off." But that other voice of, "Becca, look alive! Remember when you used to do stuff with your life?!!" is very, very active. And it's just hard to find the grace to veg in that second voice.

I'm banking on finding my steam again come week 14. That's what I read in a book somewhere, and I'm really hoping it just finds me one morning and gets me out of bed and says, "hey! here's your mojo! let's finish some projects today!"

Until then, you can find me snug on my couch watching Dancing with the Stars (can't get enough...drama, drama, kate-you-poor-thing, drama), Lost (this show is currently knocking my socks off. Unbelievable.), Modern Family (start this show at the beginning so you get to know the characters and then watch out. I laugh loud in this show, and that's saying a lot because I'm a silent laugher) and The Food Network (all shows, every show. I love food lately...and by lately I mean for the last 29 years)

black lace

Every year I can count on my mom telling me how much she LOVES this time of the year, when the trees are just budding and how when the sun is setting, the trees turn black and lacy. Right now, Nebraska at dusk is covered in black lace and it is gorgeous. I took this picture on Friday night driving to camp for our summer leadership retreat and felt so excited that spring is here and summer is coming.

Then, when I drove back to camp on Saturday morning, I had to stop at the exact same tree, that had magically blossomed overnight. Spring is definitely here.

On a related note (well, just related to spring and newness of life...), I almost hit a mama robin this morning. She saw my car and went to fly away, but her belly was so huge, she could hardly lift off. And it made me pause, because I've got some bigger days to come, and this mama robin's inability to move this morning was a sobering sight. I silently hoped that she might just fly right to her nest and lay those eggs and feel better real soon.

donald miller this week...

I read Donald Miller's blog every day. He's got good stuff to say and I really love how he writes.

This week he posted excerpts from a book he is re-releasing with some new material called 'Father Fiction.' If you're kicking back with your computer today and looking for some compelling stuff to chew on, I'd recommend going back to Monday's post and starting there.

But yesterday he posted a provocative post on choosing your friends, and if you only have time for one reading, read this one. I appreciated what he wrote, and then I really appreciated the comments others wrote after reading his post. Just thought I'd pass it along.

documenting seven ordinary days

For years now I have been following Ali Edwards, guru of simple, storytelling scrapbooking. Somehow she makes it all seem less complicated, more doable, and every time her layouts are stunning and relatively uncluttered.

Every year she chooses one week, seven full days, to document the every day happenings in their family. Our scrapbooks often highlight the highs of the year...trips, holidays, special occasions, and this is all great. But in between those highlights are a whole lot more ordinary days that actually are a more accurate depiction of our life.

I've observed this week for three years now, simply by doing that: observing Ali as she does this project. But behold! Something has come over me this year, and I'm in. I didn't participate the past few years because I thought since we don't have kids, there wouldn't really be a whole lot to document in terms of actual things happening. But looking back, had I started this project, I'd have a week of our "normal" life while we lived in Montana, our "normal" when we lived in Minnesota and our "normal" last year in Nebraska. And I'm already bummed I didn't jump on this wagon earlier.

So this year, I'm grabbing my camera and will take pictures of the ordinary: my daily bowl of raisin nut bran that gets me started each day, my husband picking away at his laptop, my work, our church, and all the other ordinary things that given a bit of time and perspective, won't all seem so ordinary.

All of the details can be found here...it's a lot of digging around to get a feel, but at its core, it's creating a scrapbook of ordinary life, grocery shopping receipts, to-do lists and I'm excited to get started.

Anybody want to do this with me?!! It begins Monday April 19th.

things that make me happy lately...

I listen to Pandora while at work. And just this week I created a new station for Patty Griffin. It's the best station I've created. Nora Jones and Allison Krauss and Dar Williams (hadn't listened to her since college!) and other kick back female songwriters are singing me through my days and it's made the 9 hours at my desk quite lovely.

I have a new blog I visit for eye candy. Emphasis on the candy, because this is a blog that simply posts pictures of lovely parties. Each is over-the-top in its own way, but so fun to gawk at. Just take a moment to scroll down real fast until you find pictures that fit your style. You'll be left inspired. Promise. (my favorite is this one)

The past two middle-of-the-nights we've had loud, booming thunderstorms with rain and wind blowing against our window. I love being in cozy-snug in bed when this happens and Rory loves watching the storm on his software.

I read this story (called A Birthday Story...scroll to this post) the other day and was moved and inspired. I like being moved and inspired.

At lunch on Wednesday, this program was being discussed and I had to look it up. I'm not a coupon clipper, but this is compelling stuff!

but you don't have to take my word for it...

I have a Reading Rainbow book recommendation. I was asked to preach at a church during Lent and this congregation was basing their sermon series on Max Lucado's latest book, Fearless. My favorite book of all time is Lucado's, You are Special. Sure it's a picture book, probably geared towards 12 year olds, but every time I read that one I am convicted and reminded to stop this insane attempt to live my life for the approval of others.

Strangely, I've never read any of Lucado's other books. (Like the grown up kind, geared towards adults...) But this was a great read, full of stories and lots to chew on. I was happy that writing the sermon for this church forced me to read something I probably wouldn't have picked up on my own.

The book is all about living life with less fear. My word for the year is Trust, and I think about this often. Especially having a baby inside of me that I constantly have to Trust is growing healthy and strong. Fear can seep in amazingly fast if I let my mind wander, but I refuse to waste my time on what-if's. I choose trust.

The back of the book says, "Imagine your life, wholly untouched by angst. What if faith, not fear, was your default reaction to threats? If you could hover a fear magnet over your heart and extract every last shaving of dread, insecurity, and doubt, what would remain? Envision a day, just one day, when you could trust more and fear less. Can you imagine your life without fear?" Just think: we are invited and asked by God himself to Fear Not. God has called us to Trust.

It's a good read, and was full of opportunities to give my fears over to the one who invites all who are weak and heavy laden to come to Him for rest.

the zoo was a zoo

I love the Minnesota Zoo and basically grew up there as it is just a half a mile from my childhood home. I even went to high school at the zoo school, an environmental studies school located on the zoo property.

It had been about four years since I had been back and with all of the baby animals this time of year, it seemed like a good outing for Heidi, Terri, Sara and myself. We went on Good Friday, and apparently the idea wasn't all that original. I have never seen the place so crowded! And then it started raining...pouring, really, which just added to the pandemonium. And then I lost Heidi's son. He had been holding onto the stroller, but then I guess he wasn't. I had just been boasting that I felt so maternal pushing a stroller. Heidi found him, crying and being helped by another mother. Terri said, "how maternal are you feeling now, Bec?" I replied that I was overwhelmed with guilt. And all three moms agreed that guilt is the chief maternal feeling, so I'm truly on my way to becoming a mama.

I still feel guilty for this whole episode. Maternal guilt. How do you get over that one? (You'll note maternal rhymes with eternal, so I'm not all that sure it ever goes away.)

The picture above is the only one I took. At this very moment Sara was sprinting with Ruby trying to get to the next covered area.

a very merry groves weekend

We just got home and I'm starting laundry, but I quickly wanted to right my mistake from Friday...

I guess the video I posted on Friday was not quite the video I was hoping to post. Although I did watch it and the painter is talented. But when I wrote, this sums up the Groves' family together time, I didn't mean that we sit around and watch painting videos...

So let's see if I can get it right this time:


We had a fabulous weekend home, and packed it full of great moments. Mostly, it was just family time and since I CRAVE family time, this was my perfect weekend. On our way out of town Sara and Troy were interviewed on Focus on the Family. It has been a while since I have listened to this program because it just became so politically divisive, but Sara and Troy are really excited about the new leadership in this organization and encouraged us all to give it a second chance. Their broadcast can be found here (April 5th broadcast) and I encourage you to take 30 minutes and listen. Rory and I listened on the radio as we drove out of Minnesota and it gave us good talking points to discuss the whole way home...

More later, but for now, HAPPY EASTER! CHRIST IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

off to minnesota...

We're in Minnesota this weekend and filling it up with Groves family goodness. My family is all out in Seattle celebrating together, but as my niece Mara said, "You will have fun too because you are with Rory's mom and dad and that is special." I laughed when she heard her say this because I imagine my sister explained this to hear and she repeated it to me verbatim.

I am really excited though for a one family holiday. We always have two homes to hit every Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. It's not a horrible problem honestly. I'd rather we get to see both families on these special days. But this Easter it seems very calm and sane just to eat one Easter feast and lay low after the meal.

It's going to be a very Minnesota weekend. I have plans to meet friends at the Minnesota Zoo on Friday, Rory is going with his dad to the first Twins game in the new stadium and I am getting my haircut by my favorite hair girl Kari!

Easter Sunday we'll be at Sara and Troy's. The video below shows the Groves' family in true form. We were in Nebraska when they filmed this video and when I saw it the first time I nearly cried because a)I HATE missing family shindigs. This part of living in Nebraska has just about killed me.... and b)We missed our chance to be in a music video! I told Sara that I do hope for a minor role in a video for her next album. Maybe backup dancing?



(if the video doesn't embed, or if it's too small, you can watch it here: Setting Up the Pins.)

this week...

***Stick with me for one more day of baby-talk. Then I promise we'll get back to other topics...but wow, it's hard to stop talking about the fun news I've been bottling up for so long! I just made this chain, with a link for each day until our next doctor appointments. The first heart is the heartbeat appointment and the last heart is the ultrasound. I'm so excited already.

This week my baby is the size of a grape. I was eating grapes when I read this in my baby book and it made me wonder why they choose the healthy fruits mom’s are supposed to be consuming to compare to the little life growing inside of us. It's awkward!

This week my tummy is showing a bit, but I am less convinced that it is baby and more convinced that it might just be the quarter pan of tatter tot casserole I consumed last night.

This week I’m feeling a bit nauseous, but cannot complain. Some women are miserable, and I am far from miserable. But nauseous the same. And oh so tired.

This week my baby’s heart is dividing into four chambers. Just imagine that. It blows my mind, and makes me think that these moments of feeling sicky are really okay with me. Clearly my baby is working hard in there.

This week God has been growing greater and bigger for me. I am in awe of his handiwork, knitting this babe in my womb, and how I don’t really have a whole lot to do with it. I just eat well and sleep lots, but truly, the miracle that this little life is forming fingernails right about now really has nothing to do with me. ‘Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit’ says the Lord.

This week you might hear me say, “I’m sort of hoping for twins, because then I can say, ‘ohhhhh see? That’s why I’ve been eating so much...”

telling our family

First of all, the comments and emails I received yesterday overwhelm me. I swear there were not ten minutes that passed in the day when I did not get an email or message celebrating the life growing inside of me. To know that we get to bring a life into such love is the greatest feeling in the world.

So. We found out our joyous news five weeks ago (I am 9 weeks along) and waited a full 24 hours before we told anyone...it felt like a very, very long time. We were sneaky in telling our folks and siblings...for each person we led them along in a long conversation about other topics before dropping the news on them. I recommend this method. I think we got the greatest reactions ever with this strategy! In the video you will watch us tell the following people in the following order:

Mom Harrington
Dad Harrington
Mom Groves
Dad Groves
Heidi, high school bff
Annika, my sister
Mat, my brother
Sara, rory's sister-in-law
Kyle, rory's brother
Lisa, kyle's wife, rory's sister-in-law



Telling people about our new little life has been far more celebratory than I had ever imagined. To feel other people's joy in response to our joy is one of the most humbling, well loved feelings in the whole wide world. I have a few stories to go with telling my grandma, my uncle carl, and my cousin sarah. All of them left me laughing and grateful for a community that is already excited to love and meet the little life growing inside of me.

And I've got thoughts on pregnancy and patience in waiting to get pregnant and the joy of being pregnant with my sister. But all of those posts will have to wait for another day. For now (tuesday night) I'm off to bed, a favorite hangout lately.