my pictures are bigger!

Special thanks to my techy husband. And to our photogenic cat, Toonces.

honesty, honestly.

This past winter I came into work, must have been in a pretty good mood and was standing with coworkers when one of them remarked of my happy state, "well look who's pissing sunshine today." A few weeks later I found out that other coworkers had secretly nicknamed me Sparkles and Hearts and referred to me with this name behind my back while they worked at the desks next to me.

I know I'm a happy girl. I am naturally optimistic, and naturally glass-half-full. This rubs some people the wrong way but it's hard to change your hard wired personality. And though these remarks still sting, I would never change on account of these opinions. I know on this blog, topics and entries probably come across with this same sort of life-is-bliss undertone, and the truth is, I largely feel this way. And I choose to blog this way.


***

My sister called me last week, feeling defeated by a facebook status update she had read. It was one of those that left you feeling left out, lesser than, comparing your life to the words someone else has written about their own life, leaving you with a bit of a jealous heart. I know we've all been there.

One of her girls needed her, so we hung up, but the next day I wrote her an email telling her that if anyone were looking at her life from the outside, based on her blog and status updates, they easily could be feeling the same way, comparing their life to her happy marriage, darling girls all set amongst mountains and teal lakes. We later talked about what a disservice we do to one another in posting only the happiest pictures, writing about the happiest of moments, and failing to document the in between, less glamorous, real life that happens every single day.

I love my sister, because she's a take charge kind of gal, gets things done and follows through. So I guess I wasn't too surprised when the very next morning she had posted this blog entry, filling in the places that aren't mentioned so much in happy blogland. And then her sister-in-law wrote a post inspired by Annika's honesty. Both blogs feel real and I think you might enjoy taking a moment to read each one.

7 months and one week

I didn't take a picture last Monday so this is a week off of my seven month picture, but here I am in all my growing glory. The shirt I'm wearing used to be my favorite maternity shirt, but after reviewing this picture I am now aware that my belly has shortened it by many inches and it may need to be retired.

I'm still feeling good. My ankles are enormous which at the moment is more amusing than annoying. Honestly, by the end of the day it is as if someone has poked a straw into my feet and inflated them just to the point of popping. Then I go to bed, and they slowly deflate so that in the morning I have normal feet, but by the next night I wonder if my feet might just fly away. And I have had a really gross cough for over three weeks now. Coughed so hard I bruised a rib or pulled a muscle or something horribly painful. But that's getting better now. Most importantly, my energy is still up and I continue to live in awe of the love we have for this little life inside of me.

My favorite memory from this month was from Mt. Carmel. Rory was holding my belly and the baby extended a foot or something for super prolonged periods of time. This was different from the quick, hard kicks I have been getting lots of lately. This was slow motion and we felt so close to our baby in these moments of contact. We were sitting on the deck at Mount Carmel and I guess I just hope that I never forget the magic we felt, feeling so connected to our little baby; feeling so much like a little family.

back from vacation

This vacation was one of our best. I unplugged for almost the entire week, not opening my laptop except for one late Tuesday night. And it felt good to be disconnected for a while.

We were at Mount Carmel for the week, but I wasn't in charge of a thing this time. A camp like this is the easiest way to vacation because meals are prepared, beach access is steps away from your cabin, there is plenty of downtime for reading and running and napping (Rory on running, Becca on napping) and there are plenty of new friends to be made. But you're not obligated to any particular social schedule, and if you don't finish a conversation, you know you still have six days to catch each other either over lunch or at the beach or with popcorn at the canteen.

We're home now and I'm taking it really slow today. Finished my vacation book, enjoyed another nap, worshiped with our church community and even got groceries and the laundry done so that I can take on the week ahead.

And now we're off to get a bucket of chicken to take to a nearby lake, squeezing one more evening of summer-loving into our technical vacation time.

just a quick hello

This is the view from the windows of our sweet little cabin. Lovely.

We are on vacation in every sense of the word and enjoying so much the calm and quiet of this place. I'm working through my stack of books and magazines, napping every day, working up some serious swimsuit tan lines, enjoying long, thoughtful conversations with new and old friends and more than anything loving how Rory and I are both on vacation together...neither one of us is preoccupied. We are fully present here together and it's the greatest.

I've been thinking though all sorts of deep things too. Vacation is so good for this. To actually have the time to reflect and process life is such a gift. Like today I was pondering lotion boogers, and if there is any way around them. Does everyone's pump lotion clog up like mine does? And do other people have to change shirts some mornings because the lotion booger plugged up the pump, causing projectile lotion to spray everything within a three feet radius, except into your ready, cupped hand?

See, I think you need vacation to really process the important stuff. And that's what I'm doing.