introducing baby g

Well, here is our sweet bundle, and I already think this baby is the most beautiful, stunning baby I have ever seen. Rory and I could have sat in that room all day and night watching that screen...I never wanted to leave.

The baby was super active the whole time. The first really clear body part I saw was the spine and it pretty much blew me away. You simply cannot deny that we absolutely are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Rory and I held hands and we gasped at the tiny little feet we were looking at, the perfect handprint that quickly flashed on the screen, and the sweet, baby nose. My very favorite moment was early on when the baby arched its back and stretched its little arms up around its head. I can't wait to see that same motion when we're just hanging out in November, checking each other out, spending lots of time laying low on a blanket on the floor.

I think our technician appreciated Rory and my awe and wonder because she took twelve pictures for us to take home. But then as we walked out she asked that we not look at them in the lobby because most people just get four or five and they might not find it fair. But she explained she just clicked the camera every time we had a huge reaction...which, apparently, was quite often.

Everything came out healthy as far as the doctor could tell. And honest to goodness, I am so grateful for this fact. But I am also very aware that they could have told me all sorts of concerning things today and I know it would not dim my joy or elation for this child. I am beginning to experience the very, very beginnings of unconditional love and how it feels to be the one who extends the love, without condition.

I believe my heart is growing at the same rate as my belly. And it's only going to get bigger.

so good

I am beginning to believe my baby wakes me up so that we can start our day this bowl of goodness. Each day this week I have woken up and felt the baby moving and grooving. I put Rory's hand right below my belly button and our baby gets his/her dad all excited that it might just want to take karate one day. This child has got some kicks.

But I am wondering if it is just telling me that its time to get out of bed and pour myself some multigrain cheerios, slice up some nectarines, drizzle some honey and pour on the ice cold skim milk. I think my baby just likes breakfast as much as I do.

Thank you summertime for the abundance of amazing fruits that are in season right now. And thank you God for this growing child that is now the length of a banana :)

back from the printer

I got a very exciting package in the mail. It was from scrapbookpictures.com and contained pages of my digital scrapbooking all printed out on fabulous paper with impressive color.

I wrote earlier about my April pages, and last week I completed my May pages in one morning. This sort of scrapbooking is so simple, relieves me of all my picture printing guilt and let me say it again, is so, so easy. The templates and idea are from the great Cathy Z.

If you're on the fence about digital scrapbooking, or if you've purchased photoshop elements but haven't really honed your skills, I highly highly highly recommend taking one online class from Jessica Sprague. Right now all of her classes are 20% off and after just the first Up and Running class, you will be able to make these VERY SIMPLE, VERY EASY pages with your own pictures. It's a fun and empowering new skill to have.

Here's a favorite from my May pages. This week I'm going to try to hit up March. That was a good month too...with lots of pictures just begging to be printed and placed lovingly in an album...

five months

Today we are celebrating 20 weeks of pregnancy! Thursday is our ultrasound and I can't wait. My paper chain only has three rings left and it seems so crazy that time has gone by so quickly. I made that thing before Easter and it wrapped half way around our bedroom and now it's just three loops long...

I am feeling really good lately, which is a huge blessing since I'm running around camp most of the time. More than anything, Rory and I are just completely in love with this little life and I am soaking up the pure excitement, wonder and joy we are sharing as my belly continues to grow. There is a happiness in this expectancy that is like no other. And on Thursday we get our first little glimpse at our baby! I can't wait!!!

forgiveness

I've had two remarkable experiences with forgiveness in two days.
Both times it was me asking for forgiveness.

The first was to a friend I've just been cold to. Icy, really. And I've known I've been behaving this way and just kept acting icy because I still felt icy. I even felt justified in my reasoning for feeling icy. But Rory and I had a good talk about this situation, and in the end, whether I had reasons for being cold or not, it was just time to be kind. And to apologize for my unkind behavior. And to ask for forgiveness.

Funny thing is that this person played that they hadn't noticed and told me not to worry about it. But I think that was just a nice thing for them to say. Because in that moment I could feel the room warm up a bit. Whether it had been felt or not on their part, my icy ways were melting and I felt forgiven.

Then today I had a conversation with a friend about a situation that happened almost a year ago. It's a series of events that has stuck with me and I've always been bothered by how it all played out since there never was an opportunity for resolution. But today I had the chance in this conversation to explain my regret, explain how I wished things had played out, and essentially ask for forgiveness, but done so with a 30 minute conversation surrounding the whole ordeal. And again, I felt the air clear.

It's so strange how this biblical principle, is just so, so good for us. So much of the Bible is like that... You might not know why this has been commanded, but once you error on the other side, you quickly learn "oh, this is for my own good. God knew this is for my own good." God knows it's not good to be icy. And that it's not good to think about something for an entire year after the fact. But I'm human, and humans do these things. The redemption in this story is that we were made for forgiveness, for having our wrongs taken away, and for feeling the freedom of a clean heart after hard conversations are had.

It's risky living. Honestly, it would have been much easier for me just to stay my same cold temperature. But in the end, I was wasting SO MUCH ENERGY...because I was created to live in the freedom of forgiveness.