a homemade christmas wreath

Somethings in the air this season. I'm feeling really crafty. And creative. And ready to play. So on Tuesday during Elsie's nap, I took Ivar outside to gather pine branches to make a Christmas wreath. 

I have made a wreath one time before, when we lived out in Montana. It was at the Advent Retreat at Flathead Lutheran Bible Camp and though I remember having made a wreath, I didn't remember the technique at all, But I did remember that I thought it was easy enough that I boasted I would never have to purchase a wreath again. 

And I'd say that again. It is pretty easy, but it is also very prickly. 

I didn't have a wire base to built my wreath on, but I did have two wire hangers from the dry cleaners. Keeping the hooks as they were (so handy for hanging later!), I just bent the triangles into circles and then used wire to tie them about an inch apart to provide a bit of a wider foundation.

I also didn't have green floral wire. But I did have white string. I started by tying my bottom most layer and then adding more and more. By the end, I was able to tuck little pieces in strategically so that I covered up the white string. The wire would have made it a whole lot easier, but it turned out great! And for the bargain price of zero dollars, I'd say this was a great afternoon project.

 ...and check out this sweet picture from that Advent Retreat in Montana. We lived out in Montana for a winter while I wrote my masters thesis and Rory wrote his weather software. Annika and Jedd lived in the cottage at the Bible Camp and we lived in the nurses cabin. It was a dreamy six months, living on Flathead Lake, sharing most suppers with Annika and Jedd, and spending my afternoons and evenings with my adorable nieces. What a dream! And seven years later I am so glad we lived so fully and so freely before we started a family. What a sweet season to have shared.

vertigo treatment!

A few Fridays ago I woke up with a violent case of vertigo. I've only had one episode before when Ivar was about six months old, so I was really surprised. For six hours I felt terrible. The pictures weren't attached to the walls, the walls weren't attached to the room, things moved far away and zoomed up close. It was awful.

I stayed on the couch most of the day and had a moment in motherhood I'll never forget when Rory left me for an hour to take a sales call. Elsie jumped on the couch while sympathetically reminding me, "Mama sick. Me sick too. I snuggle with mama!" And then would jump on my body, snuggle and get up to jump again and I would commend myself for being such a hero.

By mid afternoon I was able to eat toast and keep it down. And by the evening I was able to sleep, but only on my left hand side. If I lay flat on my back or on my right side the whole world went helter skelter again. 

It was like this for six days. I could only lay on my left side. Any rolling over would bring on an episode. I was better when standing or sitting, but I could never throw my head too far back, or lean it on the headrest of the car. And most of the time if I moved my head there was a delay for the picture to catch up with my eyes. Like I was watching slow motion, except I knew I was moving normal.

It was gross. I went to a chiropractor, I prayed, and I was just about to go to an ear, nose and throat doctor when a friend at our small group told us about a procedure his chiropractor does for him when he has a vertigo spell. When everyone left we googled it. It required me getting on the kitchen table and Rory doing some big movements with my head and when we watched it done on youtube Rory politely declined. It was going to end poorly, probably with sickness.

But then Rory found a video that seemed compelling and the exercise she recommended was worth a shot. It was less jerky. So with the help of youtube, Rory coached me through a series of motions. The series took about two minutes and the first round was really uncomfortable because I had to hold a pose through the uncontrollable spinning. We waited 30 minutes and then did it again. And that time I heard something and felt immediate relief. We waiting another 30 minutes and did the exercises two more rounds with no spinning and that night I slept on my right side!

It was pretty miraculous for me. I was really weary from a week of messed up vision. And I was beginning to wonder if this was going to be my new normal. I am so grateful it is not.

But this video will be! I've had a few more dizzy moments since, and each time I do my half somersault move. It's amazing.

The likelihood that you will ever have a spell of vertigo is pretty slim. I've since learned that my Grandpa Harrington suffered terribly from this, which is fascinating to me. That it might be genetic? I have no idea. But I am writing all of this for two reasons: 1) so that I have quick access to this video whenever or wherever I need it. 2) in case you ever hear of someone who needs relief. This little video is worth a shot. It worked for me and I'm so, so glad it did!

Preparing for Advent

Advent is the season on the church calendar where we prepare our hearts for Christmas. But as a mom, I feel a real responsibility to prepare for Advent, so that I can take the lead in reminding my kids the real reason for the season.

Ivar is four now, and traditions are being set. Rory and I are talking really intentionally about how we want our kids to remember their childhood, how we want to create traditions, how we want things to feel and look and smell. One huge decision is that we want our kids to have Christmas morning at our own home, and we want to celebrate Christmas eve at our own church. These are both things we remember from our own childhoods, and want for our kids. But it means not joining our extended family for those times. Thankfully (and I am SO thankful!) all families involved have been gracious and understanding.

What I've learned is that building tradition takes intention. But what I remember about my own childhood is that it is the little things. We always had an advent wreath on our kitchen table during December. And it was lit at each supper. Sometimes we would turn the lights out after everyone was done eating and sing a christmas carol. I'm not sure how many times we actually did this, but it is etched in my mind with the happiest and warmest of memories.

So my goal is to keep it simple. I spent Sunday night looking on pinterest for Advent Ideas, and felt convicted that you could really overdo it and loose the whole point of the season. So I googled for Christ-expectant Advent ideas and found an awesome article that spelled out a simple Advent plan, the one I remember from my childhood. So here's my plan:

1. Make an advent wreath. Maybe just five mason jars filled with sand with three purple, one pink and one white candle. A good explanation can be found here. And keep it on the kitchen table all of December.
2. Light one candle each week leading up to Christmas. I love the anticipation this builds. I remember loving church in December and watching the acolyte light one more candle each week...because it meant Christmas Eve was that much closer! Ah! The anticipation!
3. Eat our supper and then turn out the lights. I know from experience that this always quiets the room.
4. Read the scripture for that day and sing a christmas carol. We'll add one carol a week so by Christmas my kids should know the words to four carols.
5. Pray and thank God for sending his baby boy Jesus for us.
6. Turn the lights back on.

So that's my Advent plan. If you have older kids (elementary or middle school, I still recommend The Family Book of Advent, but it still seems a bit too involved for Ivar and Elsie.) How about you? Do you have any favorite Advent traditions?

(The picture above is my cousin Sarah (the blondie) and me dressed up as angels for the nativity we act out each year with the cousins. My grandpa always read the scripture and even though he died when I was fifteen, I can hear his voice clear as day when I think of him reading, "In those days, a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered...")

kid quotes

I never put these pictures up, but this was such a happy day for us I just want the pictures documented. These pictures were from a Monday in October that was so stunning my kids ended up barefoot in the river. And one week later there was snow accumulating on the ground which made me very glad we had soaked up this glorious last bit of fall weather.

Here's some kid quotes to kick off your weekend:

*I overheard Ivar and Elsie in the living room. Ivar said, "Now you'll be in big, big, big, big trouble!" And Elsie shot back, "No! I'll be in teeny, teeny, teeny big trouble!"

*I was trying to snuggle with Elsie holding her like a baby. I said, "you're still my little baby." She sat right up in my arms, looked me in the eye and said gruffly, "I'm not a baby! I'm a sister!"

*Two times at small group our kids haven't gone to bed before the company came. So they got to be a part of everyone's check in. Last night they listened patiently and when it was time for us I asked Elsie if she had something to share and she lifted her hands in the air and announced, "I grew up! I'm tall!" The other time they got to share Ivar ran away for a while and came back to show everyone that we had got new toothpaste at Target.

the christmas house

I saw this idea on pinterest and pinned it to my "I wanna make this" board. And 24 hours later, I had made it. Because it was that awesome of an idea. The original I saw used white lights, but it turns out when you take two kids to Ace Hardware to pick out Christmas lights, white is not an option. Kids know a boring chirstmas light when they see one. So we went with "the pretty color ones!"

I also didn't have a box big enough, so I pieced together three boxes that we had with duct tape and supported the whole structure with a couch on one side and an end table on the other.

If you do this on your own (and you totally should!) I have a few pointers:
           ***Obviously making one of these is pretty obvious. Obviously. That's obvious. 
                 But just in case you wanted to learn from my trial run I thought I'd share.

1. Go make a big order of toilet paper and paper towels on amazon prime to get your big box.
2. Purchase your lights. I used 200 lights for this beauty. Because, you know.
3. Using a sharp knife, and making sure no children are inside the box, poke little x's in the top of the roof. Place the lights as you go! Christmas lights are spaced way closer than one would think, and I had to poke all new holes.
4. Poke the lights all the way through the x's...so that just the wire is showing on the roof. It makes for a brighter fort, and a more secure light set up (they were falling out before I figured this out.

And then enjoy! Until we get our Christmas tree this little Christmas house is casting a beautiful glow in our living room. And since it is snowing and twenty degrees, it seems right to have the glow of christmas lights warming our house. It has become quite the cozy family hangout spot. Tonight we are going to eat milk and cookies in the Christmas House.

After the kids go to bed.

grace-filled friends

Well, we've officially entered the season of Cancelled Plans. This is a tricky season to adjust to in motherhood.  I can plan all the playdates I want, but it's a real gamble if those gatherings will come to pass. Between kid's illness, mama exhaustion and bad weather life is a little less predictable than the rest of the year.

The night before Ivar's birthday I had tables set for 26. I had six pounds of hamburger. I had two birthday cakes. I had presents wrapped and party games. And then in the middle of the night, I had a little birthday boy with the flu. And a cancelled birthday party.

The next weekend I was set to celebrate Annika's birthday with her and my mom with a nice lunch and later was supposed to go to a mom's conference with church friends. But that morning I woke up with vertigo so extreme that I couldn't lift my head off the couch. And I was so sorry for myself!

And this past week I took the kids to a class in town and didn't realize until later that I had also told a friend I'd meet her at the ymca for a water weights class. I totally stood her up. So I left her a crazy-apologetic voicemail telling her how badly I felt. But when we connected next, her response stopped me in my tracks.

She wrote the nicest, most grace-filled, understanding reply, reminding me of the season of life we're in, that between sick kids and off days and bad weather and keeping all the plates spinning, we just have to do our best.

I was so grateful. It was the exact grace-filled encouragement that my mom-heart needed to hear. And I'm so glad to have heard that right on the onset of this stay-flexible season. Last year my friend Rachel and I tried to meet up six times throughout the winter, and always one of our kids was sick or the roads were bad. It never failed. We'll try again this year, but be ready to give a lot of grace too when our plans fall through.

So here's to putting things on the calendar and hoping they happen. And for grace to give and receive when they don't.

the 'got done' list

I just had the most amazing epiphany.

I was thinking about how I fight against my daily to do list. Because in my head, and on paper, I have lots of things I'd like to get done. But the end of the day comes and sometimes things get done, but other days nothing is accomplished. I know I've been working all day because I'm tuckered out, but it's hard to know where the day went.

It's hard to not have measurable work. I don't really have much to show for a day, except for children that are still alive and enjoying a secure and happy childhood. And that is enough if I am in my right mind. But if I am in my wrong mind I can go a little batty with the undoing of all the things I'm doing. Like the dishes that need to be washed again because we dirtied them again. Or the laundry that needs to be put away or washed or a combination of both. Or the kitchen floor that was just swept and spot mopped but again has sticky spots and crushed cereal and flattened raisins.

At the end of the day there isn't a lot to show for my time. We live in this house and it shows.

So it dawned on me. My to do list is what I'd like to get done. But often the day has other plans for me. Like to help Ivar come off of his tantrum because he couldn't put his vest on by himself. Furious he cried because he could not reach that other arm hole and would not let me help. Or like how lunch got so messy it necessitated baths for both kids...and they ended up spilling lots of water on the bathroom floor. Or like how I made three meals that kept all bodies in the house healthy and happy. Or how, on an impulse, I finally made a phone call reconnecting with a friend long overdue.

The epiphany is that at the end of the day I should make a GOT DONE list.

My list would read like this:
-Helped Ivar work through his tantrum
-Cleaned bathroom floor and my children
-Made B, L and D for all
-Reconnected with friend

And I might add more:
-Unloaded and loaded dishwasher
-Carried a laundry basket upstairs full of clean clothes
-Carried a laundry basket downstairs full of dirty clothes
-Played Thomas the Train and made up a very clever plot line
-Fed and watered cats and chickens
-Built a fort out of couch cushions
-Put living room back together after bedtime routine

Does this make sense? None of these things would ever appear on my morning to do list. And yet it is so satisfying to see it all written out at the end of the day. I'm not sitting idle. I know that for sure. But I rarely have had anything to show for my days. Until now. The Got Done list changes everything.

a potato bouquet

Our basement has limestone walls and an old cistern. The house dates back to the 1890's, and when you are in the basement, this is not hard to believe.

I went down there to find some onions and potatoes to bring up to the pantry and found this lovely bouquet, all happy to see me. Coming from a pampers diapers box were all sorts of potato shoots, looking for soil or light or someone just to notice them.

I noticed and brought the box upstairs to show Rory the last of his 2013 potato harvest. We laughed so hard! And now we are determined to eat every one of our 2014 potatoes before they grow eyes...and legs...and arms...

winter prep

Last week I turned into a little squirrel, getting everything all set for the first snow. Instead of gathering nuts and hiding them, I cleaned storage areas and organized them which is one of my very favorite things to do. I love organizing and sorting and giving things away and finding a system to keep items organized so that everything has a home. I hung a lot on the walls in the shed, sorted things by type and then made a few trips to good will.

And then I raked the lawn. I asked Rory if he would help and he said, "I won't, as a matter of principle. I don't agree with raking a yard this big. Becca, do you know what compost is? It is leaves and cut grass. People pay big money for it. I'll mow all of this in the spring, and call it compost."

Well. Apparently I still have a bit of "small yard" in my blood, because I could not let it go. The leaves were inches deep, and knowing the snow was coming the next day, I got to work. It's great cardio. I raked twice as many piles as pictured below, and then went around with a huge tarp, raked a few piles on the tarp at a time and dumped each tarp-load in the grove. I broke a sweat and felt quite accomplished when it was done.

And I did have some help. The cats liked to jump in the piles and tried many times to attack the rake. And the kids jumped from pile to pile, making them much less pile-like. I was relieved when they lost interest and went inside.

It feels so good to get everything tucked in and ready for winter. There was something that happens in my soul when I know all of the toys are out of the rock box, the strollers are in the pole barn for the season, the mower is safe in the shed, and the truck is pulled into the second stall. It's like pregnancy nesting, except instead of a baby this nesting leads to a really long winter. 

the first snowfall

We got about two inches, which clearly necessitated the use of the new tractor with snow plow implement. Rory announced our purchase of this kubota tractor over on his blog and we're pretty excited about it. It's the same tractor we've been able to use over the past two years, when we've needed it. Our good friends had it and used it mostly for snow removal in town. But he was looking for a covered cab, leaving this baby for sale. Rory has named it Kubota Tractor Groves.

On Sunday afternoon we realized we needed a home for Kubota so Rory went to Menards and bought the grey thing pictured below. It was supposed to go on the side of the house, but the land was too sloped there. So now we have this little beauty right on the side of our driveway, keeping sweet Kubota Tractor snug and dry. It also has become a favorite hang out for Ivar and Elsie, and the cat family. I have named this structure Functional Eyesore Groves. I am quite tempted to paint it red and trim it out in white.

But look at this happy, handsome man. He stayed up on Sunday night until 2 in the morning building this cozy shelter for his new baby. Welcome to the family Kubota Tractor and Functional Eyesore.

Family Meeting Agenda

Rory and I have added a weekly meeting into the mix, and folks, this is a game changer for us. Now that we have it, I have no idea how we were functioning without it. And actually, the answer is that we weren't really functioning! Too many things felt last minute, poorly planned and frustrated.

We started this at the beginning of October. We meet on Sunday afternoon when Elsie is napping and Ivar is having quiet play time. That is key. No kids are invited to our family meeting. One day when they are older, I'd love for them to be a part, but for now they are just too little. And this stuff is too important to wait to have our meeting after they go to bed at night. Rory and I are spent then, so we have to meet during the day.

We start by going over our Calendars. We look a month or two out going over big things that need to be discussed. We talk about things added to the calendar in the last week, or things we'd like to add. And we walk day by day through the week ahead. I keep a separate 'to do list' while we meet and Rory does too. We schedule in a date night if that feels needed and all the while I keep a running list of babysitter needs. For most of my motherhood I have been the mom who texts every girl in town with a 24 hour notice. I sound super desperate (because I am!) and it's embarrassing. This little part of the meeting has eliminated 90% of those desperate texts.

Then we talk about Projects we would like to see get done. THIS IS AMAZING. We used to bring these ideas up scattered throughout the week as we thought of them. And then weeks later we would be frustrated that no progress had been made. The first week we met I said I'd like curtains for our living room. Two weeks later, we had them hung because we were on the same page and had talked through why this was a priority. It only took us two years of living here and the two weeks of better communication to get it done!

We then talk about People in our lives we wish we saw more. And try to figure out how to see them. This takes intention! We realized quickly our life is way busier than we had thought. Because we have a running list but not a lot of open evenings. We want to change that.

Then it's General Concerns. Probably the most important part of the meeting. This is the time when something that happened during the week can come up, in a nice, civil, level-headed way. There was a Friday morning when I was on the phone for a good long while, contesting a bill with my doctors office. The kids were watching tv and Rory asked me, "what is the upper limit for tv watching for our kids?" Fresh off the phone with a crabby business lady at my obgyn, I flew off the handle at his question. "Upper Limit?!! However freakin long I want them to sit there so I can fight this bill!" That was my answer. But he really wanted to know. So we added this category to the Family Meeting Agenda. Because in the context of the family meeting, I don't have to get as defensive as I do in the moment. It's a fair question. We can talk about it like grown ups then.

Then it's on to Meal Planning. The best fix I have found to my lack of desire to ever do this on my own. With our calendars out we look at the week. If Rory is going to be gone we plan something very basic. If I am home all day, I plan a meal that involves more prep. If we have small group that night and bible study that morning we plan on having a frozen pizza. I write out our meal plan on a template I found online and I make the grocery list as we talk through menu items. Rory tells me what he's in the mood for, and I love the suggestions. And all week long I LOVE myself because there is a plan that has been thought out so that I don't have to think of something on the spot. It's amazing.

And finally we go over The Budget. And I'm not kidding that I pray before and after we talk through the budget. Because our budget conversations can get a little nit-picky. Rory asks me questions like, "do you remember what you bought at Target on 10/19 for $58.93?" And then he wants me to try to itemize what I bought. Oh Lord, I need you now. So we pray. I pray for patience. I pray thanksgiving for all that we have been given. I pray that we would always be wise with what God has given us. And then we talk through it and the whole time I know I have to pray after this conversation, so I better keep my words nice. And it works! (And I have started keeping an envelope in the jeep to hold my Target receipts so he can itemize to his hearts content.)

Overall Thoughts:
You know, every single business I have ever worked for has weekly meetings. How we were running a household without having one, with a set agenda, now blows my mind. We are running a machine here, keeping all the details of family life in order. And to have Rory's undivided attention for one hour, and for him to have mine, has made A WORLD of difference for us.

Maybe you already do this. Maybe you do something similar. But if you don't do anything, I cannot recommend it enough. I even wish Rory and I had started this before we had kids. The routine of it is just as important as the actual communication that happens. I now keep a little list on the calendar of things to bring up. And I know that when I bring it up on Sunday we will be in our right minds.

And the meetings are getting shorter. Our first two were long, because there was so much to cover. But now we're in a groove, and even going over the budget is a lot faster, because it's only been seven days since we looked at it last.

Hope this is helpful. Here's to many more happy family meetings!

while I'm thinking of it...

+I cannot stop eating the halloween candy in my house. I know I could get it out of my house to help with the temptation, but I can't do that either. Because I love candy.

+Ivar got the flu the night of halloween. At first we thought it was just too much candy, but eleven hours later he was done with the terrible part of the flu and still sad and sorry for himself. I was sad and sorry too because we had to cancel his party with 26 Groves and Harringtons coming to celebrate.

+Rory and I watched the six episodes of PBS's 2001 show Frontier House this weekend. It was great television and was so inspirational that Rory went out and bought our first ax.

+I have spent the week cleaning out the shed and have now moved on to the garage. The cold is coming and it feels good to get everything ready for winter.

+I went shopping on Monday night with my friends Melanie and Amanda and it was awesome. My criteria for this shopping trip was: warm and cozy. I got a lot of sweatshirts, sweaters and scarves. It is perfect mom attire.

+Rory and I have started holding a weekly family meeting, without the kids. This is worthy of its own blog post, as it has changed the running of our home entirely.

+And finally, a kid quote. I said, "Elsie, do you  have a poopie?" She said, "I have a diaperrhea!" (she didn't, but I thought the new word was funny.)

another happy halloween

We had a great Halloween. Ivar and Elsie completely understood the process and were great with their thank you's. We went to a college to trick or treat in the dorms and it was awesome...lots of doors to knock on, lots of candy and it was all inside.

Then we went down our street. I had emailed our neighbors, letting them know we'd be coming and they were ready! One commented that it had been ten years since they had a trick-or-treater come by. This is the part of halloween that I love the most: reconnecting with neighbors one last time before we all hibernate for the winter. One neighbor gave us a house tour, and two neighbors dressed up for our kids. Can you guess what Patsy was in the picture below?

A Lutheran Church Basement Lady! Hilarious. Complete with weak coffee, green jello and a church cookbook. Pretty awesome. :)

a happy shark

Grandma Margaret saved the day and we will now have a happy shark on halloween. My mom came over and helped me behead the costume, which ended up really doing a number on the body part of the shark so that she had to take it home and sew it back together for me. And at the last minute we added shoulder straps to keep the whole suit up. The legs are still inches too short, but he doesn't seem to mind. Mostly he just wanted to show Scooby-doo-whop, our little goldfish, that he was a fish too. A fish called a shark.

pictures of october

It's been a stunning fall. The trees, the weather, the pace of life. It's all been pretty awesome. Ivar is outside with his dump trucks and diggers moving dirt around like it's his job. Elsie likes to talk about all the big, round, orange 'kumpins' we have by our house. The cat family is either more snuggly, or my kids are more aggressive at snuggling but either way there is a lot of love between the cat family and the Groves family these days. Monday we were barefoot, walking the sandy beach of the river nearby. Yesterday we were bundled in winter gear moving from vehicle to building as quickly as possible. I believe the next season may be upon us...