the happiest


Tonight we were at Rory's parent's house and I said aloud to my father-in-law that I think this past month has been my happiest as a mother. I feel so content and completely grateful to have this life and the great joy of raising these four amazing kids. I don't know if I've ever been this overwhelmed with happiness with a newborn before.

And I have three reasons why I think that is true:
I've had babies before and have learned a lot along the way. 
This is a funny thing to say aloud, but I am simply improving my mothering game. I think I wrote this before, but I'll say it again...I know what to worry about and what not to worry about. And this should be the case. With all things, you get better with experience and practice. I have had a good deal of both from three other babies, and I'm better at all of it.

Alden is a sweet, calm and easily comforted boy.
This has to be said because it is true. He's just a kick back kid. And so clearly that is a major factor in this happy, blissful season. And I LOVE having a newborn. I love holding him, nursing him, burping him, laying him on my chest, watching him when he lays on my lap. I'm soaking him up, knowing how crazy fast he will grow and savoring him just as he is.

My expectations are right where they should be.
And this is the biggest factor for this happy season. I told Rory that my only goal each day is to keep all four kids fed and safe. If I add anything else onto those two goals I end up either resenting the thing I am trying to accomplish or the kids. So I have completely stripped down my commitments, things to do and personal expectations. I still get other things done but it's more bonus than expectation. I know this time of interrupted sleep is just for a time. I know that this slice of life is just a small slice. Everything will resume and life will have its demands. But as much as I am able, I'm going to reduce those demands and mostly lower my expectations of what I can accomplish in these first months.
And those three factors seem to be the secret sauce for a very happy season of motherhood. Believe me, I still have my moments. I'm generally caffeinated during the day and should go to bed earlier than I do.  But on the whole, we're just living our days as a family of six and it's a good, good life.

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