Alden, my baby boy

I just put Alden down for his nap (this pic was taken back in September) and I just want to tell the world how much I ADORE my boy. He is such a delight. His smiles are huge and gummy and he loves me as much as I love him. Sometimes I try to match his expression by opening my eyes as bright, lifting my cheeks as high and stretching my smile as wide. Alden is just good for the soul. And I adore babies. I just love them. I smooch his big cheeks all day long and he has this gutty belly laugh that I want to save as a ringtone. When I was pregnant with him I always heard, "pure gift." And that is what he continues to be. Just a pure, good gift.

And he's awake a lot more of the day now! He is almost 4 months, though wearing all 12 month clothes (and growing!) and wants to be held upright and within eye shot of the action. He is still a very chill baby and I am just so glad we had him.

Also, he is Ivar's twin. Which is odd, because they are seven years apart. But these two were definitely separated at birth. By seven years. I'm having a hard time capturing exact expressions from one photo to the next, but you'll have to trust me that there is a striking resemblance.

Just write.

I feel like it's been a while since I've journaled about my life, and I feel like writing it out might help me organize my thoughts, so here I go.

I've been using the same version of Photoshop Elements for the last TEN years! A great $90 well spent, it seems. And today it won't open. I'll have Rory take a look at it, but isn't that weird? I've been limping along with it because I'm too cheap to pay the subscription each month and I know how to use Elements. But my days may be over. Hence, no pictures in this post. Instead, here are all sorts of words and stories tumbling around in my head.

Two weeks ago I took a HUGE load of laundry out of the dryer and discovered that a red crayon had made it into that load and came into contact with every single article of clothing that I had stuffed into the machine. But here's an interesting insight with how I cope: My heart rate didn't even rise. I simply didn't have time to get upset. I just took it all out, put it in a basket and put the basket in a corner for the next week and a half. I believe they call this denial. I call it saving my energy. And it was only when Rory asked what my plan, exactly, was with all of that laundry that I decided to go article by article and throw a whole lot of it away. It looked like blood. I saved big bath towels to use as rags. I saved a pair of Rory's NEW jeans for work clothes. (I clearly do not pre-sort my laundry...) I tossed the rest. It was terrible. But what are you going to do?

Here's a happier story: Yesterday Alden was dedicated at church and it was such a special day. We will have him baptized around Thanksgiving with my side of the family, and as I always say, in both services we are proclaiming the same truth: this is God's kid first. We get to raise him. We get to be his mom and dad. But God will always be his heavenly father. We recognize that. We acknowledge that. We believe that. And it always feels so good to have these services as a public declaration that we stand on that truth while doing our best to raise our kids to know and love and fear their Maker.

After the dedication we celebrated Rory's 40th birthday, Hattie's 2nd birthday and Ivar's 7th birthday. At the beginning of the fall I had asked Rory what he wanted to do for his 40th. I had always planned on a big barn dance, but then we had the Family Corn Roast and we both felt a little exhausted of event planning. He said what he wanted most was to have help get the farm ready for winter. So we invited family and friends (who knew how to run a tractor!) to come and help triple the size of his garden. Unfortunately it rained hard on his birthday so we cancelled. But the thing about a farm is that the work doesn't actually get cancelled even if the party is cancelled. So the two of us worked our tails off over the course of two days. And you know? It was a lot of work! And it also was very, very satisfying. I was happy to have him and he was happy to have me. It was all shoveling dirt, raking leaves, and using a pitch fork to spread wood chips. But we did it and I do believe I will take more ownership in that garden now that I worked so hard alongside Rory.

Speaking of working with Rory...the farm partnership has morphed into his work as well. We launched a sales campaign last week and stuffed a bunch of envelopes with a mailer selling his weather monitoring services. I signed my name on each letter, Rory folded and stuffed, Elsie sealed each one and Ivar put the stamp on. We worked hard as a family and it was very rewarding to get those envelopes in the mail. We are in a very new-to-us, uncharted season, where we are working together more and more. And what we're seeing quite clearly is that my gifts and his gifts compliment each other really well. It feels exciting and full of possibilities.

Another whole topic: I have a friend, Cori, who invited me to her 7-day pure eating group. I accepted with enthusiasm and then she set me up with a menu for the week, grocery list, ideas for healthy snacks and had a facebook group where she posted encouraging thoughts and truths about our bodies and God's hope for our lives. I loved it. Ate great for 7 days and have now continued another week. Yesterday there were three birthday cakes and a plate full of my sister-in-law's incredible sugar cookies and I pulled through. I had a cup of coffee instead (with a whole lot of maple syrup as my consolation!) and decided if I can withstand that sort of deliciousness, I think I can pull this eating off. I never weighed myself...it's not about that for me this time. It's just eating what leaves me feeling good and gives me energy.

Oh here's another story. On Saturday I pulled into the driveway with a van full of groceries. The sheep were all on my front sidewalk eating my hollyhocks. I tried to open the garage door, but it gets off its track easily and takes Rory to lift it while I press the button. (I have a call in for a new garage door). So I parked the car and shoo'd the sheep out of the way, tripped on the cats, told the chickens to move and started bringing the bags of groceries in the front door, careful not to step in any of the sheep poop that was scattered along the sidewalk.

I brought in bag after bag, closing the sliding door after each load because the chickens and cats were trying to get into the van and the sheep were sniffing around.

I got all the groceries into the house, left my shoes on the front step, and then went in to bring the groceries from the entry into the kitchen and put them away.

Sunday morning rolled around and we were all dressed up for Alden's dedication, running late for the meeting before the service for families who had kids being dedicated. Rory took Hattie to the van in the driveway and then came back with Hattie and announced, "Boa the cat was trapped in the van overnight. There is cat poop and throw up in three places that I have found so far."

Can. You. Imagine??!!

Can you?!!!!!

So Rory found the big towels that had red melted crayon on them (perfect!) and used them to start cleaning up the mess. As fast as he could. Then we checked everyone's seat and told the kids to load up and raced off to church.

And now I have a call in for a full interior detail. The works. Heavy clean. We want it to look brand new.  And please, make it smell brand new too.

On that note, I'll let you go now. Thanks for listening. I miss this space for these mind dump posts. They're good for me. As always, I'm still posting quick posts on The Grovestead Instagram. So if I ever go to quiet here, I'm likely over there...

Happy Monday!

our growing orchard

I took these pictures on a hot day in August and my kids were certain they were melting in that sheep shelter above. They were not as into the "check on the apples" experience as Rory and I were. But I love that they huddled together in that shade, eating their apples, sweating it out together. Now that it's blustery and cold today, I can appreciate the sibling bonding that was happening in this moment.

My friend Leisha once told me that raising kids is a lot like planting an orchard. You tend to the trees, you water and mulch them. You take measures to rid them of the bugs and insects. You prune them so they're sturdy and support them so they don't topple over in strong winds. You fence them in to protect them from harm. And then one day, years and years later, you get to enjoy the fruit of all of your labor. In the meantime you get a few apples every season. And you can see the goodness that is to come. But you plant an orchard and tend to those trees with your eyes on the harvest many years to come.

I love that illustration so, so much. I think of it every time we're out checking on the progress of our apple trees. And feel encouraged for all the ways I am tending, disciplining, training, guiding, protecting, supporting and encouraging my four kids every. single. day.

all day, every day

I'm working with Rory!

Back in August there was a guy who came and spoke at our church about prayer and intercession. At some point he talked about how he gets up at 5 am to pray every day. I groaned inside. He mentioned that when Jesus taught us to pray "give us this day our daily bread" he probably thought you'd pray that before you needed the bread for that day...likely in the morning. He was a compelling preacher and I felt convicted. But definitely not 5 am convicted.

But wouldn't you know, early the next morning after feeding Alden, I went to crawl back into bed and looked at the clock. I literally watched it change from 4:59 to 5:00. And I groaned again. I knew it wasn't a coincidence. So I put a blanket around me and went downstairs to pray.

I was so tired. And I really was trying to talk myself into letting myself go back to bed but the Holy Spirit was clearly at work because soon I got into a rhythm and started praying for Rory. 

I prayed for the work on the farm, his business, his volunteer commitments with the reserves and the pregnancy center in town. I wasn't as tired. I was feeling very grateful for this quiet time in the dark living room looking at the morning stars in the black night.

Rory woke up and I told him I had been praying for him. And it led us into a conversation about all that's on his plate. I started taking notes and then something crazy happened. It hasn't happened in our 12 years of marriage. But I said, "I could help you."

Up until this point Rory's work is Rory's. I have a lot going on in my world too. It has worked well. But as he listed the laundry list tumbling around in his mind I knew I could jump in and help. Most pressing, he said, was to find a computer programmer to help him with his latest project. I made a few phone calls that day, emailed a few contacts. But wouldn't you know, that Friday at Ivar's soccer practice I started talking to a dad who said he was a programmer looking for experience. Incredible. We love this guy and he's been working with Rory since.

And now we have a sitter who comes for three hours every Monday afternoon and Rory gives me a list of things that he can't get to. I want to give you a sample, because this job is awesome.

-post internship positions on local college websites

-research, locate and purchase 4 piglets

-find publisher for board games

-call Zumbrota Livestock Auction and find out best time to deliver goats

-take pictures and post Ram (sheep) on Craigslist

-find nubian billy goat to mate with mama goat

-schedule lamb processing, research best age to process

-call for tour of sheep contact to look at their fencing

The craziest part is that I LOVE IT. I love working with Rory on farm stuff. This wasn't always the case because I had enough going on in this house, but for some reason I have suddenly jumped in fully to this farm life, not just the house life with the kids...

Last week I found our piglets on a farm in Wisconsin. They will be born in January and we'll pick them up in March. I chatted with the lady selling them via facebook all morning, asking questions, figuring out what I needed to know and still need to learn. And when I wrote, "we'll take four!" I shouted aloud. I was so happy! I ran into the kitchen and told Rory it felt like I had just booked a ticket for a great adventure. And I'm pretty sure I had. I never thought I'd be this thrilled about pigs, but I am so excited. I cannot wait!

So we're a team. We're working together on this farm like never before and it is so fun. I was always supportive. I always offered my two cents. I was always on board. But now I'm making some of the decisions. Making the contacts and deciding the plan. Friday night I even made Rory sit down with me and watch youtube videos on how to build a greenhouse... 

And I'm still getting up each morning to pray. It's early, and there is no physical part of me that actually wants to get up that early, but sometimes I think it's okay to go against the flesh. I told the Lord that he would have to wake me when he wanted me to pray and Alden has been fulfilling that request faithfully. I am often up between five and six, something that is completely not normal for me. I love my sleep. But these six weeks have been so fruitful and fulfilling and best of all the joy of the Lord has truly become my strength. 

So look for me, Farmer Becca. Making phone calls to our local seed vendor, trying to figure out how to plant a cover crop on our field this year, researching tractors and calling a fencing company for an estimate. And if anyone knows of a good, small, used livestock trailer we could buy, let me know!