he is always near

I went to bed last night at 8:30 and was asleep by 8:31. I set my alarm for 12:30 so I could wake up, put my barn coat on top of my bathrobe, and head out the barn to feed a hungry lamb.

If you're ever looking to add a little something to your life, set your alarm for the middle of the night and go walk around the block. It's quite something. I have to seriously psych myself up because it's cold and quiet and for a girl with an overactive imagination, this could be bad.

But it's not. Truly. Because every single time I have walked out to the barn God has given me a special gift. Every time. And I know he's near. The first gift I felt grateful for was the huge moon we have had this week so that the whole farm is covered in moon shadows. That moon has served as one giant spotlight, lighting up my path, illuminating everything around me.

One night my gift from him was a big owl in our oak tree calling out. The owl who-who-whoooed, and then I who-whoooed back to him. Back and forth we talked and talked. I was certain he was asking me what I was doing up so late. And I was telling him that I'm sort of amazing. He agreed. Another night it was a low sky with stars that hung so bright and huge that I was reminded 'who is man that you are mindful of him?'

One night it was coyotes howling in the distance. I know that sounds unnerving but the cries made for a very pretty song. And I figured at least I knew were far away by their distant barks.

Tonight my special gift was eight deer lit up by the moon, right in the middle of our field. They were amazingly close, looking at me and standing perfectly still. I starred at them in the silence for a long time and they looked back at me...that one lady who comes out for late night walks in her bathrobe, winter boots, pajama pants, barn coat, husband's work gloves, hat with the over-sized pompom and two baby bottles in her hands.

***

When I consider your heavens, 
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands
you put everything under his feet:
all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim in the paths of the seas.

O Lord, our Lord, 
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
-Psalm 8

happy easter!

Here are three favorites for you as we celebrate Resurrection Sunday. I hope you have the happiest Easter. Jesus is alive. The story is true. He is risen indeed!

Miracle moves back to the barn

Huge news in the world of Miracle. On Monday afternoon the vet told us he should be reunited with his mother with hopes that he might nurse from her. We all felt sad at this idea as the imprinting seemed to have happened both ways, but we also knew it was the best for the little lamb. Plus, changing a lamb's poopie diaper isn't actually as charming as it sounds. There's a lot of wool. And a tail. An honest part of me was relieved that Miracle might go back to the barn where no one needs their diaper changed. Three in diapers in the house was a little much.

So we brought Miracle out to his Mama, Fluffy Cloud. A few things before you watch this video. 1) Fluffy Cloud looks very ratty because while she is eating her hay each day, her next door neighbor, goat Darcy, will reach over the wall of their stalls and eat her wool off. It looks worse than it is. Basically, if we could get Darcy to do an even job on Fluffy Cloud, we wouldn't have to sheer her in a month or two. And that would be awesome. 2) The other baby goat that appears at the very end is Miracle's twin sister. And she's huge! Like double the size of Miracle. I have so much to tell about her, but until then, just know that we have named her Big Sister. 3) This is basically two full minutes of lambs sniffing each other. So I won't be offended if you skip through it.
All of this happened on Tuesday morning. And now it is Thursday night. Rory summed it up best when he said, "well Fluffy Cloud fully accepted her baby back. But her baby won't accept his new living arrangement." And it's true. He is so sorry for himself. We can watch him on our LambCam from the house (a webcam Rory set up so we can always see our animals. It's seriously the best thing ever.) and for a whole day he lay with his head pointed to the corner, the corner where we walk out of the barn. He was flat out depressed and clearly enjoyed his life of diapers.

Also, he wouldn't nurse off of his mama. Still won't. So every 3-4 hours we walk out to the barn and bottle feed him. But we're trying to get him less attached. It sounds so harsh, but the truth is, he is a lamb. And his best life would be with other sheep, walking happily out to the pasture. The worst thing would have been if he had been unaccepted by the other sheep. That would be unsafe for him and then really bad news as he gets older. So his best life is out in the barn. It's just hard to tell him that.

But Big Sister. Oh man. I will leave you on this high note because it warms my heart so much. While watching the LambCam I have seen SO MANY happy moments when Big Sister is trying to make friends with Miracle. I sit at the computer and give words to what everyone is saying and here's what I imagine:

Big Sister: Hey! Where have you been! I missed you! I was born and then you were born and then you were just gone! And now you're back! You should try jumping on your feel like I am. It's so fun!

Miracle: Go away.

Big Sister: Our Mom is awesome! She's so nice! She feeds me whenever I want to eat! And she snuggles with me at night. You're going to love her!

Miracle: I miss my family in the house.

Big Sister: You mean the farmer? Oh he comes out here all the time! You'll see him plenty. He's always near. He gives us HAY! Have you ever had hay before?!! We go bananas for it! Really, you should stand up and jump. Here, I'll nuzzle you and try to get you to stand.

Miracle: I don't like it out here. I want to go back where I was. I was so comfortable.

Big Sister: Well, if the farmer brought you out here, then this must be the best place for you. He'll never leave you, but he probably just wants you to be what you were created to be. A jumping, frolicking, happy sheep! Oh it's gonna be so great! Mom said that in a couple weeks the farmer will open up those big doors and he'll lead us out to a pasture. A green pasture! And we'll just eat all day. Maybe just lay in the shade. And for sure we'll frolick. Oh come on, stand up and jump with me! I'll nuzzle you again.

Miracle: No. I just want to be sad. I'm just sad and alone and confused and...so sad.

Big Sister: Well you're not alone. And it's fine that you're sad but I don't think you will be for long. The good news is that you are a lamb and you are now back where lambs belong. So I will just lay down here beside you and stretch my neck out reeeaaaal far and lay it on your body. Because you're not alone. And the farmer is here all the time. You'll see. He'll bring us all food in the morning and at dinner time. And often he just comes in to work on things. You still have him. And you have me. And Mom and Bubble Gum and Sugar Cookie and December. And we clearly have a very special life ahead of us full of blue skies and new grass and warm sunshine so lets just...go...to...sleep...

Imprinting

Miracle is fully one of us. He now can jump this little play pen with ease and follows us wherever we go. If I go to the fridge, he clip clops behind me. If I go to the bathroom, he'll keep me company. Same goes for Rory and Ivar. But he knows the ones who feed him, and is most attached to Rory and me.

We took this little video to show how connected he is to us. He does not want to be any distance away from where we are.
good shepherd from Becca Groves on Vimeo.

And Rory is happy to oblige. Miracle is not lacking love and he's got six housemates who adore him.

to brighten up your monday

Another favorite, right here. Reading a book about the 23rd Psalm, no less. This post is for my niece Mara who told me on the phone, "and don't you worry about over-blogging. I want to see pictures!"

...and honestly, what else would I write about? This is the greatest and we're all in love with Miracle.

Susie, I just got your comment and was so grateful for your kind words and also wanted to answer your question of what our long range plan is for Miracle. The honest answer is that we have no idea. We are in actual one-day-at-a-time decision making. Rory would like to get him back to the barn in a separate pen with a heat lamp, just so he knows that he's a lamb. But neither of us are super eager to walk to the barn at 10pm, 2am and 6am to bottle feed him. We will go the vet this week and she will hopefully be able to tell us what is possible. So we will see, day by day, we will see!