the secret sauce to friendship

(This picture has nothing to do with this post, but I didn't get a single shot from Saturday night, and we did eat this raspberry pretzel dessert...so it will just have to do!)

I had a group of friends come over on Saturday night who brought greek food for a picnic dinner, unloaded and loaded my dishwasher, brought all the goods for a foot soak and pedicure and brought three hours of awesome, thoughtful conversation. It was dreamy.

These are friends I made while attending Cedar Valley Church in Bloomington. We were in a small group together from when I was pregnant with Ivar to when I was pregnant with Elsie. Sometime this past winter the mom's of the group started meeting up on one Friday night a month, me driving from the country meeting up in their neck of the woods. Their small group expanded and now there are seven of us who are either currently in or used to be in this small group.

We loved these friends when we were with them formally in the small group. But we were still at the infancy stages of relationship. We watched videos together and had spirited conversation. And we got to know each other. We ate good treats, walked through job transitions, laughed a lot and started building a friendship.

But it wasn't until we mom's met that first Friday night, just this winter, that I realized something huge about how friendships are formed. I was telling the story of how Ivar didn't care to walk until he was 18 months and how hilarious it was to have him three times the size of the other babies in the infant nursery at church because he couldn't graduate to the toddler nursery. Not until he walked. Which he was in no hurry to do. Finally he took his first steps...

And then someone broke into my story and reminded me, "we know. we were there!" And it's true. Ivar took his first steps at our small group. Surrounded by a group of adults in the youth room at our church, he walked clear across the rug right into our arms. And everyone cheered. It was epic!

I stopped telling my story, and was struck dumb with how awesome it was that these people remembered that milestone from years earlier, that I hardly remembered myself. And now, three years later, and (between us the seven of us) TWELVE kids later, we are still celebrating the milestones of one another. The secret sauce to these friendships is longevity. Time. Time together, shared experiences. Memories made even when I didn't know we were making them.

Saturday night will go down as another. The night they drove all the way to my farm to celebrate baby #3, to bring dinner, do my dishes, eat sour patch kids and raspberry pretzel dessert, to pray over me for my labor and delivery, and to pamper me. We'll add tonight to our list of shared memories and in time we will build more and more.

nine months pregnant! (I think)

If you divide 36 weeks by 4, you get nine. Which means if the average month is 4 weeks long, I have been pregnant 9 months. I don't know if I technically am yet, as weeks and months are terribly confusing in the world of pregnancy tracking, but 9 months feels very accomplished so I am going with it. Because I like to feel accomplished.

I just went through a hard month of carrying this baby. I was in pain and had a few other physical issues that were trying and those trying things got me down. Mentally down and literally down. I am on a pretty strict cycle of two hours up and active and one hour laying on my left hand side. Which, turns out, is awesome. To be forced to rest as a mother of two would be equivalent to forced daily bowls of ice cream. There just isn't much to complain about.

As a result of the pain I was in, I started eating better, cutting way back on social-anythings and we bought a bed for our living room. No joke. If you came over right now you'd find two couches, a fire place and a twin bed. Not awkward at all. I spend my "left hand side" time on this bed. And also sleep there at night. You can imagine Rory tucking me in at night and then heading up to our bed. Without me. The bed was purchased when it was terribly hot and I was dying in our stuffy bedroom. And when Rory kept waking me up to tell me I was snoring. To which I would sadly tell him, "but I was finally sleeping!" I also get up frequently to visit the bathroom and when I roll over (which is all the time) I have to readjust many pillows. I was restless and hot, and Rory was annoyed and crabby. The bed was purchased with both of our full support and enthusiasm. When baby comes I'll move back upstairs, but in the meantime the bed does serve as a quality conversation starter.

Elsie and Ivar are very ready for the baby and it's adorable. They love feeling kicks and seem very aware of what is coming (though none of us really can brace for all the ways a baby will change our normal). Elsie has taken to calling her pink blanket, "Baby Lily" and will come and tell me when Baby Lily "is crying because a lion bit her." I've always hoped my kids would have an imaginary friend, just for the fun of it, but this blanket that is held so lovingly is pretty close. I will continue to encourage this Baby Lily thing as long as I can.

Other than that, the baby is gaining an ounce a day. Pretty impressive. And I have to say this: I absolutely love being pregnant. Even with the harder parts of this pregnancy, there is nothing more marvelous and amazing and privileged than getting to carry a little life in my womb. I love this baby fiercely already. And this is before I've even set my eyes on my babe. What a joy it will be to hold him or her in my arms!

harmony, minnesota

For our babymoon we spent the day and night in Lanesboro, ate another awesome caramel roll in the morning, and then drove twenty minutes to Harmony, Minnesota. There are tours you can take of Amish farms, as well as tours of Niagara Cave. We just had half a day and chose the self-guided Amish tour, a CD you play in your car that tells you how to get to various Amish farms where they sell their goods to you, the tourist.

In the end, the CD wouldn't have been necessary. It was more like a talking GPS than a super informative self-guided tour. But I don't know how you get a map without having the CD... Also the CD tour brought us to many smaller farms, where we got to talk to one of the parents, whereas the tour buses that go tend to visit the larger scale farms with larger storefronts. I can see pros and cons to each...

I would recommend bringing cash. We didn't have much on us, but purchased something little at each place (jams, cookies, granola bars...) They sell much larger items too: aprons, baskets, bird houses, wooden furniture and my treasure from the day: a basket that holds all the plates, napkins, utensils and condiments for toting out to the picnic table. I love it so, so much.

On the whole it felt like these Amish families were living well below the poverty line. I could be wrong, but based on the appearance of buildings, peeling paint and weathered shingles, it did look a bit exhausting. You don't take any pictures on these tours either. They believe that photos are a graven image. (Unfortunately, the day before while at the cattle auction there were two Amish men sitting across from us. I was taking pictures of the cows and trying to get a shot of the whole arena when one of them caught my eye and shot me a fierce look. The other had his hat tilted down. The bummer was that I hadn't even seen they were there...we had just arrived. But the rest of the time I shot my pictures towards the other end of the arena and also deleted all of those first pictures.)

It was a drizzly morning, and visiting these farms was fascinating. I did get the sense that part of their actual income comes from people like us stopping by, purchasing in their shops. And the landscape along the drive was lovely. It's just such a pretty part of our state. 

In the end, I'm glad we went. And I'm excited to go back and visit the cave.

I believe this is called nesting...

Last Sunday on the way to church Rory asked me if I was okay, wondering what was on my mind. I told him calmly, "I don't want to scare you, but I am ready to get rid of most everything inside our house. Every room I walk into I want to purge. Like the laundry room and all of those shelves of storage. Do we use any of those things? And I can't handle our upstairs. I know we don't need a bigger house, but we do need less stuff. I'm done stepping on toys..."

That afternoon I came home and hit the laundry room like my life depended on it. Nothing was safe. Rory moved his office fully to the cabin, I found new homes for some items and pitched others. I took down the shelves and decided the laundry room would be just that: the laundry room. Rory built me a folding counter and one day I'll paint the walls...

The next weekend I went to town on the kids rooms. No toy was safe. I have not a bone of sentimentality in me at the moment. If something was missing, broken or had no other like toys, it was a goner. I had a box for give away, a bigger box for throw away and then found an awesome deal at Menards: 12 tupperware tubs for $6.99. Rory whipped out a label maker he just purchased and was thrilled to get to use it. The toys are high enough that the kids can't reach a thing. Which means we have full control of what comes out, and only after the other toys have been put away.

Ironically I am supposed to be laying low. And I actually am. The night I sorted toys in the nursery there was a huge thunderstorm. I sat in the glider rocker with all the windows open and then would visualize picking up the next four things I would put away before I sat back down again. It was a very slow process, but I did it! And now there is not a single toy in the nursery (except the train table) and we are on the right track, getting ready for baby!

peanut butter banana smoothie

Two weeks ago I decided to go pretty-much-paleo again. That's what I called my sort of grain-free diet. Interestingly, to get back on the wagon I referenced my very own blog (linked above) and found it tremendously helpful. I was so proud of myself!

Two days after cutting out bread, cereal, bagels, bars, pasta, and anything else that has flour or grain (everything except oatmeal and corn chips) my feet deflated. No kidding. I've had some serious cankles this pregnancy and just like that, I had my normal feet back. A week later I ate a very worthwhile piece of chocolate cake that a friend brought over for Bible Study and just like that, my feet puffed up like balloons again.

Clearly I have some serious issues with flour or wheat or carbs of some sort...but let's stop talking about my feet, shall we?

As a result of me going grain-free, we have done away with cold cereal at our house altogether. Mostly because it's temptation island for me, and not good for anyone else either. We've moved on to smoothies, oatmeal, eggs, annika's granola and grain-free granola with yogurt. It's a bit more work and prep, but remember that thing about feet?!!

My new favorite smoothie (and the kids') is peanut butter banana. This will sincerely get me out of bed in the morning, I love it so much.

In the blender I throw (I measure nothing, so I'm going to guess here...)
1 1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. plain old home yogurt (most protein, lowest sugar I've been told)
2 T. natural peanut butter (just peanuts and salt listed in the ingredients)
a scoop of Whey vanilla protein powder. I've used Market Pantry. This is Walgreens. Both are great.
1-2 RIPE bananas. The more brown the better. Often I peel mine and freeze them in chunks.
5 ice cubes
a handful of spinach

Blend until smooth. The addition of the peanut butter in this one is crazy good. Sometimes I make it at night as my "icecream" or dessert... Enjoy!