preggers surprises...

I have been making a running list in my head lately of all the things I just didn't have a clue about before I got pregnant. The list is long. But I was driving back from Old Navy this morning and started to think I should document these. So tonight, I will give you the first three that come to mind, but I plan on adding to the list as I continue to be surprised.

1. Nothing in pregnancy is unique to you.
This is a funny epiphany, especially when everything is so brand new to me. I will actually think that I may be the only one who has experienced symptom x, because it's just so odd. But I'm starting to come to the conclusion that a lot of things during pregnancy are just odd.

For example, I have been having trouble sleeping lately because I wake up when my right hip falls asleep. It basically goes numb, just like a foot or a hand would. But it's my hip. It's so weird...and really uncomfortable. I have to lay on my side now, and as a typical side sleeper anyway I thought this would be no problem. But the second I heard I shouldn't sleep on my back any longer it's like a switch flipped and my body decided that it would much rather sleep on its back. But I can't. So I sleep on my left side with my right hip numb, sometimes burning and annoying enough that I have to get up, walk around, rub it a lot, and then try to sleep some more.

So when I got on babycenter.com in the dead of night to look up if this crazy phenomenon has anything to do with pregnancy, and found 32,000 other women already talking about this symptom of pregnancy, I was very surprised. Numb Hip is not unique to me.

2. The amount of time it took for my belly to show.
I remember being in Minnesota for Easter and I was 10 weeks. And I made comments about how I couldn't tell if my belly bump was a baby or just the burrito I ate the night before. But deep down, I was sure it had to be baby. Now that I'm 22 weeks along and just recently started showing I am pretty sure back then it was just the burrito. I just had no idea it might take so long to show. So each week was sort of a let down. I'd talk to my baby, tell it I was ready for the world to know I had a baby in there and that it could stretch out if it wanted. But baby took its time and I just had to be patient.

3. You really shouldn't buy maternity clothes assuming they will fit when you get bigger.
My best friend, Heidi, tried to tell me this one. She said both of her pregnancies looked so different on her body that she never even grew into some of the clothes she bought. I heard her, but I didn't heed her advice. Instead I went to Target and bought some great tops that I assumed would get me through the summer. But they are still too balloon-like to wear and make me feel frumpy. So today I went to Old Navy and bought some sweet outfits that fit me right now, with probably will fit for another month or two. Or maybe they'll fit me until November. Again, I have no idea how this baby is going to show itself. But I do know I got some fantastic outfits today and that I strongly believe a pregnant woman should have some feel-good outfits in her closet.

I've got more, but I'll save them for another day. Anyone out there remember being surprised by anything specific during pregnancy?

three different fruits, each given the same name

To the untrained eye, someone might mistake all three of these the same. But they are not. I am convinced of this. A tomato really should have three different names.

First, there is the tomato that comes from the store. We might call these well-it's-better-than-nothing tomatoes. They do the trick in the middle of the winter. They can pass as something to be put on your salads and sandwiches. But once you've had the other two kinds of tomatoes, you know these just aren't actual tomatoes.

Second, there is the tomato that someone has grown for you. For our purposes here, we'll call these thanks-for-sharing-your-bounty-tomatoes. I grew up on these tomatoes from my mom's garden, our next door neighbor's garden and lots of relatives. These tomatoes are in a class far above the first kind of tomato mentioned. They have flavor. They have character to their shape, color and size. They taste like summer and they often lead to multiple nights of BLT's which is basically my personal heaven.

But the third kind of tomato changes EVERYTHING. It's the tomato that you, yourself, grew. These tomatoes might be best called, Lord-you-are-so-good-to-us tomatoes. Rory and I were gifted with a tomato plant from some super camp friends, Bud and Betty, and I cannot explain the pomp and circumstance surrounding the first tomato we harvested. Rory brought it into the apartment, washed it and shared it like a sacrament. It wasn't even all that big. But it was the best tomato we have ever eaten. And it changed my world of produce forever, birthing an excitement for gardening that is brand new to me. Rory has always had the green thumb in our marriage, but this tomato has changed everything.

(special thanks to my niece, Mara, who took this picture while playing with my camera out on our patio. It's a nice shot, Mara, and happens to be the very tomato Rory harvested.)

belly boom.

A few months ago my sister and I were talking on the phone and she alerted me to something I should be ready for in pregnancy. She mentioned how I might suddenly have a lot of pain from bla bla bla and that when it happens, I shouldn’t be worried, it’s normal and natural and means that I am just growing and stretching.

So Saturday night, I woke up from a dead sleep, seized with pain just below my growing tummy around my hips. I groaned and tried to find a different position and ended up standing next to our bed with my elbows on the mattress, hunched over and breathing deep.

Rory was very concerned. But because of the gift of having a big sister, I was able to say, “Annika told me about this. I can’t remember what it’s called or why it’s happening but it’s normal. I just hurt.”

Sunday I woke up, sore, but fine. Went to church and then to camp. At camp we stood to sing a song and I felt this same pain, but in a more minor way but still just an unbelievable stretching and pulling that took my breath away. Then later in the day when I got up quick from my chair to get something from the printer it seized my body again.

So I looked it up on thebabycenter.com and figured out that the bla bla bla that Annika had forewarned me about is called Round Ligament Pain. And it basically means my muscles are stretching real fast. It told me that these intense moments happen often after a day of abnormal active activities (my nieces were here on Saturday and we went swimming twice, I swang with them, carried them around a lot and I even got on the seesaw…very abnormal activities!) and happen because your muscles are stretching so fast.

Well holy cats. It is stretching. I had several camp staff come up to me today (Tuesday) and say, “I saw you on Friday and you still didn’t look pregnant. But what just happened? Do you really get that big in just four days?" And I just marvel with them, because it is undeniable. This belly didn’t just pop. It busted itself out into the universe, shouting to all who happen to look my way, "Make no mistake! This woman is preggers!"

I'm mentioning all of this for the sake of any friends reading who don't have a big sister to warn them of such sudden things during pregnancy. And, for the record, that probably was my last seesawing for a while...

fatherly wisdom from my big brother, Mat

My brother has surprised and amazed me as a dad. I think it's sort of funny to watch siblings take on new, huge roles because you've just never seen them in that way before. He loves his kids like crazy and they are crazy for him. He is a fun one to watch as a dad, laid back, calm and seemingly enjoying every moment.

I wish they didn't live out in Seattle. I miss him and his whole fun-loving clan.
Here's Mat:

How would you describe your style as a dad?
Proud, beaming, hands-off, give them choices and let them choose. I like to take them into the outdoors. I try not to worry too much. I probably intervene more when my kids are misbehaving than other dads. I try to be available to engage with them when we are all at home as much as possible.

What resources or who in your life was/is the most helpful in giving sound parenting advice?
We’ve benefited from lots of great advice from family and friends. Stephanie has been a voracious reader of parenting books, and we have really benefited from that. We pick and choose our favorite tips and craft our own approach.

Was there a specific part of being a dad that challenged you and your confidence in being a cut out for this?
Not yet— the early years are about loving them and teaching them. I can tell my big challenge will be when they are teenagers— knowing when to guide them, when to let them make their own mistakes. I will worry.

What is your favorite part of being a dad?Giving them support and watching their personalities develop.
If you were to go back, and start your season of parenting all over again, what would you tell yourself?What is a “season of parenting”?

Any words of advice or thoughts you want to pass along to Rory?
Stock up on personal time. Seriously. Now. (You’ll do great.)

fatherly wisdom from Jedd Larson

I met Jedd before my sister Annika did when we worked at camp together. I remember asking him then what he wanted to be when he grew up. And he replied matter-of-factly, "A good husband and a good dad."

And that's what we've got in Jedd Larson. He loves his girls like mad, shows great patience in dealing with three strong-willed women, and loves with a tenderness that makes me so happy he married my sister.

I give you, Jedd Larson.

1. How would you describe your style as a dad?
I'm kind of like the ball in a pinball machine. I wake up in full acceleration and go to sleep after the girls have stopped playing, but in between I spend a lot of time wondering what just sideswiped me or how hard the next bump is going to hurt.

2. What resources or who in your life was/is the most helpful in giving sound parenting advice?
My dad was the best role model anyone could have for fatherhood.

3. Was there a specific part of being a dad that challenged you and your confidence in being a cut out for this?
It is not possible to have too much energy or patience for your children. Making peace with only doing what you are able is not easy.

4. What is your favorite part of being a dad?
Watching my daughters learn and grow and discover who they are. I want nothing more than for them to become confident individuals who are kind to everyone they meet.

5. Do you have a favorite story or quote from one of your kids?
Mara - "Thank you God, that I'm funny." Sonna, yesterday, from the top of the back of the couch. "Daddy, do you want to see how far I can jump?"

6. If you were to go back, and start your season of parenting all overagain, what would you tell yourself?"
I try to give myself advice all of the time but it never sticks. I'm not very good at receiving advice from people that I don't recognize as an authority on the subject.

7. Any words of advice or thoughts you want to pass along to Rory?
We were at Dairy Queen with the girls. This older guy said to me as we were leaving, "You have a couple of neat kids." I said, "Yeah, they are pretty great. I'm trying to enjoy them before they turn 16." He said, "don't believe anything anyone says about teenagers being hard. My daughter is 17 and being a parent just keeps getting better and better... As long as you put in your time." My advice to Rory is "Spend all of the time you can with your child(ren), especially when it's hard but even when it's good. You'll only get one chance at this."