belly boom.

A few months ago my sister and I were talking on the phone and she alerted me to something I should be ready for in pregnancy. She mentioned how I might suddenly have a lot of pain from bla bla bla and that when it happens, I shouldn’t be worried, it’s normal and natural and means that I am just growing and stretching.

So Saturday night, I woke up from a dead sleep, seized with pain just below my growing tummy around my hips. I groaned and tried to find a different position and ended up standing next to our bed with my elbows on the mattress, hunched over and breathing deep.

Rory was very concerned. But because of the gift of having a big sister, I was able to say, “Annika told me about this. I can’t remember what it’s called or why it’s happening but it’s normal. I just hurt.”

Sunday I woke up, sore, but fine. Went to church and then to camp. At camp we stood to sing a song and I felt this same pain, but in a more minor way but still just an unbelievable stretching and pulling that took my breath away. Then later in the day when I got up quick from my chair to get something from the printer it seized my body again.

So I looked it up on thebabycenter.com and figured out that the bla bla bla that Annika had forewarned me about is called Round Ligament Pain. And it basically means my muscles are stretching real fast. It told me that these intense moments happen often after a day of abnormal active activities (my nieces were here on Saturday and we went swimming twice, I swang with them, carried them around a lot and I even got on the seesaw…very abnormal activities!) and happen because your muscles are stretching so fast.

Well holy cats. It is stretching. I had several camp staff come up to me today (Tuesday) and say, “I saw you on Friday and you still didn’t look pregnant. But what just happened? Do you really get that big in just four days?" And I just marvel with them, because it is undeniable. This belly didn’t just pop. It busted itself out into the universe, shouting to all who happen to look my way, "Make no mistake! This woman is preggers!"

I'm mentioning all of this for the sake of any friends reading who don't have a big sister to warn them of such sudden things during pregnancy. And, for the record, that probably was my last seesawing for a while...

fatherly wisdom from my big brother, Mat

My brother has surprised and amazed me as a dad. I think it's sort of funny to watch siblings take on new, huge roles because you've just never seen them in that way before. He loves his kids like crazy and they are crazy for him. He is a fun one to watch as a dad, laid back, calm and seemingly enjoying every moment.

I wish they didn't live out in Seattle. I miss him and his whole fun-loving clan.
Here's Mat:

How would you describe your style as a dad?
Proud, beaming, hands-off, give them choices and let them choose. I like to take them into the outdoors. I try not to worry too much. I probably intervene more when my kids are misbehaving than other dads. I try to be available to engage with them when we are all at home as much as possible.

What resources or who in your life was/is the most helpful in giving sound parenting advice?
We’ve benefited from lots of great advice from family and friends. Stephanie has been a voracious reader of parenting books, and we have really benefited from that. We pick and choose our favorite tips and craft our own approach.

Was there a specific part of being a dad that challenged you and your confidence in being a cut out for this?
Not yet— the early years are about loving them and teaching them. I can tell my big challenge will be when they are teenagers— knowing when to guide them, when to let them make their own mistakes. I will worry.

What is your favorite part of being a dad?Giving them support and watching their personalities develop.
If you were to go back, and start your season of parenting all over again, what would you tell yourself?What is a “season of parenting”?

Any words of advice or thoughts you want to pass along to Rory?
Stock up on personal time. Seriously. Now. (You’ll do great.)

fatherly wisdom from Jedd Larson

I met Jedd before my sister Annika did when we worked at camp together. I remember asking him then what he wanted to be when he grew up. And he replied matter-of-factly, "A good husband and a good dad."

And that's what we've got in Jedd Larson. He loves his girls like mad, shows great patience in dealing with three strong-willed women, and loves with a tenderness that makes me so happy he married my sister.

I give you, Jedd Larson.

1. How would you describe your style as a dad?
I'm kind of like the ball in a pinball machine. I wake up in full acceleration and go to sleep after the girls have stopped playing, but in between I spend a lot of time wondering what just sideswiped me or how hard the next bump is going to hurt.

2. What resources or who in your life was/is the most helpful in giving sound parenting advice?
My dad was the best role model anyone could have for fatherhood.

3. Was there a specific part of being a dad that challenged you and your confidence in being a cut out for this?
It is not possible to have too much energy or patience for your children. Making peace with only doing what you are able is not easy.

4. What is your favorite part of being a dad?
Watching my daughters learn and grow and discover who they are. I want nothing more than for them to become confident individuals who are kind to everyone they meet.

5. Do you have a favorite story or quote from one of your kids?
Mara - "Thank you God, that I'm funny." Sonna, yesterday, from the top of the back of the couch. "Daddy, do you want to see how far I can jump?"

6. If you were to go back, and start your season of parenting all overagain, what would you tell yourself?"
I try to give myself advice all of the time but it never sticks. I'm not very good at receiving advice from people that I don't recognize as an authority on the subject.

7. Any words of advice or thoughts you want to pass along to Rory?
We were at Dairy Queen with the girls. This older guy said to me as we were leaving, "You have a couple of neat kids." I said, "Yeah, they are pretty great. I'm trying to enjoy them before they turn 16." He said, "don't believe anything anyone says about teenagers being hard. My daughter is 17 and being a parent just keeps getting better and better... As long as you put in your time." My advice to Rory is "Spend all of the time you can with your child(ren), especially when it's hard but even when it's good. You'll only get one chance at this."

FATHER'S DAY INTROS:

I was ready to go with the mother's day posts a few weeks before mother's day hit. But father's day snuck up on me and I never put the posts together like I had wanted.

I wanted to write an intro paragraph for each person, explaining why I admire them as a father and what I like about their parenting style. It's been bugging me since Sunday, until last night it dawned on me. I should just go back and write the intro paragraphs. So I did. Ahhh..feel the sweet grace of a blog and ability to add to what you've written.

So take a minute and go through the first four dad's. I wrote the opening italic paragraphs with hopes that it might just flesh out who these guys are who also happen to be great dads.

Joyfully,
Becca

fatherly wisdom from Madison Groves

There was a period during Rory and my dating, when I was trying to figure out if I should marry him. And by period, I mean the entirety of our dating right up to our vows. (I put the boy through a lot.) I remember having a conversation with Sara at some point and her sharing that when she was in that season with Troy, she met Troy's dad, Madison. And she realized if this is the guy my future husband is looking up to and modeling after, then we're fine.

And it's true. You could hope for no greater father for your husband to aspire to. Madison lives his life with purpose and determination and if he says he's going to do something, he does it. It always catches me off guard a bit. Because most people just talk about taking a boat trip for an entire year when they retire. But they actually did it. And most people talk about writing a book. But he wrote it, self-published it and promoted it. Most people talk about living a good Christian walk, but Madison's entire life history and every decision reflect his love for his savior.

Rory LOVES talking to his dad, and still thrives on every word of encouragement and accolade. Same goes for his mom. In fact, recently Rory told me kindly after telling me of a new company idea, "oh. if you were my mom, you'd just encourage me right now and not tell me your opinion, concerns or worries yet." ha! Marlene and Madison set the bar high and have raised one amazing man for me to spend the rest of my life with.

I give you, Madison Groves.

1. How would you describe your style as a dad?
Marlene and I came from pretty similar backgrounds on parenting issues, even though we were brought up in different parts of the country. In their early years, I was at work a lot and her time with the kids was what really counted. So I wanted to be supportive whenever possible. I guess I would call our parenting style co-supportive.

For the past twenty or so years, I have really enjoyed the friendship of my sons and their wives. We sometimes get into issues I can help them on, but I am careful not to intrude into those areas best left between them and their wives.

As much as I am able to help them, they help me deal with the issues of life going forward, and I highly value that.

2. What resources or who in your life was/is the most helpful in giving sound parenting advice?
Much of the advice we got was collaborative with other parents in church or from reading many good books, both secular and Christian. My dad was quite authoritarian, so I took several pages of that role in guiding our sons, all within the confines of agreement between Marlene and I.

One of the best pieces of advice we got was from our associate pastor in Honolulu. In a nutshell, parents should focus on a high support/high control model with their children. It is this quadrant of parenting style that seems to be most effective – and we see that our own children are doing a great job in this area.

3. Was there a specific part of being a dad that challenged you and your confidence in being a cut out for this?
Yes, I wished that I had been involved in more sports as a youngster myself so it would have been more comfortable for me to pass that on to my sons. As it turned out, they became active to a sufficient degree in that area that it may not have been the issue I perceived it to be.

4. What is your favorite part of being a dad?
I think the best part of being a father is seeing how your sons have stayed true to their commitment to the Lord and are all still very active in their faith today. For some reason there is this unwritten rule that boys have to go out and sew their wild oats and then settle down. Not true. And while nobody’s perfect, my sons aren’t living their lives today trying to unwind regrets of the past.

After my bride of 44 years, my sons are my best friends. They took me out for a great time about a year ago. We spent the full day just the four of us. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.

5. Do you have a favorite story or quote from one of your kids?
I have several, but one that stands out about Rory was his very positive experience from attending Lake Geneva Bible Camp. When he returned that year, about age 11, his zeal for the Lord was several notches higher than before. We have always appreciated the value of the camp experience for our sons and that only confirmed it again.

6. If you were to go back, and start your season of parenting all over again, what would you tell yourself?
Knowing what I know now about my sons, I would tell myself “you are about to begin a journey for the next few years that will be both difficult and exhilarating, but know that God has everything under control, and you will do just fine, and your sons and their children will do just fine too because you will make church a priority for the family.”

7. Any words of advice or thoughts you want to pass along to Rory?
Rory, you will make a great dad because I know your heart is set on pleasing your heavenly Father and being the best husband you can be. Your example as a dad is what your children watch and you are well equipped there. Also, keep in mind that your job as a dad is to prepare your children for life during those few years. I distinctly remember that conversation we had together while sitting on your bed at our home in Bloomington. It was my message to you and to myself at the time. Proverbs 3:5,6 was and is my favorite Scripture for life. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.