my get-up-and-go has gotten-up-and-gone

and I'm left wondering if it is okay to be so very unproductive.

I remember my sister calling me a few weeks ago complaining that she didn't have anything to show for her last 13 weeks. And I reminded her gently that she actually had a little 13 week life growing inside of her and two daughters (ages 2 and 4) that she is raising each day that might count as "something to show for." But I think what she meant was nothing above and beyond just getting by and making it from day to day.

Well, sister, let me tell you what. I've been thinking about that conversation a lot this past week, because I am so dog tired lately, so utterly exhausted, that I believe just getting to work should earn me a gold star. And then staying until 5 is basically reason enough to throw a parade. And by parade I mean, drive myself home to nap/snack/and watch tv until it is 9:00 with the last float of that parade throwing my head onto my pillow for my beloved bedtime.

But this is so hard to actually be okay with...vegging like this each evening. I'm a doer. I make to-do lists, and then I get things done. But this just isn't working lately. I have had a project on our table for over a month. Each time we need the table and have to move the entire thing Rory will kindly comment and question, "this is really going to be great. when do you hope to finish it?" And the truth is, it has been number one on my to-do list every night and every weekend for the past four weeks. But somehow when I get home, I just fall into the couch and have trouble climbing back out.

Annika's frustration makes sense to me now. On one level I do want to say, "Becca, you're 11 weeks preggers. Just sit on that couch and take a load off." But that other voice of, "Becca, look alive! Remember when you used to do stuff with your life?!!" is very, very active. And it's just hard to find the grace to veg in that second voice.

I'm banking on finding my steam again come week 14. That's what I read in a book somewhere, and I'm really hoping it just finds me one morning and gets me out of bed and says, "hey! here's your mojo! let's finish some projects today!"

Until then, you can find me snug on my couch watching Dancing with the Stars (can't get enough...drama, drama, kate-you-poor-thing, drama), Lost (this show is currently knocking my socks off. Unbelievable.), Modern Family (start this show at the beginning so you get to know the characters and then watch out. I laugh loud in this show, and that's saying a lot because I'm a silent laugher) and The Food Network (all shows, every show. I love food lately...and by lately I mean for the last 29 years)

black lace

Every year I can count on my mom telling me how much she LOVES this time of the year, when the trees are just budding and how when the sun is setting, the trees turn black and lacy. Right now, Nebraska at dusk is covered in black lace and it is gorgeous. I took this picture on Friday night driving to camp for our summer leadership retreat and felt so excited that spring is here and summer is coming.

Then, when I drove back to camp on Saturday morning, I had to stop at the exact same tree, that had magically blossomed overnight. Spring is definitely here.

On a related note (well, just related to spring and newness of life...), I almost hit a mama robin this morning. She saw my car and went to fly away, but her belly was so huge, she could hardly lift off. And it made me pause, because I've got some bigger days to come, and this mama robin's inability to move this morning was a sobering sight. I silently hoped that she might just fly right to her nest and lay those eggs and feel better real soon.

donald miller this week...

I read Donald Miller's blog every day. He's got good stuff to say and I really love how he writes.

This week he posted excerpts from a book he is re-releasing with some new material called 'Father Fiction.' If you're kicking back with your computer today and looking for some compelling stuff to chew on, I'd recommend going back to Monday's post and starting there.

But yesterday he posted a provocative post on choosing your friends, and if you only have time for one reading, read this one. I appreciated what he wrote, and then I really appreciated the comments others wrote after reading his post. Just thought I'd pass it along.

documenting seven ordinary days

For years now I have been following Ali Edwards, guru of simple, storytelling scrapbooking. Somehow she makes it all seem less complicated, more doable, and every time her layouts are stunning and relatively uncluttered.

Every year she chooses one week, seven full days, to document the every day happenings in their family. Our scrapbooks often highlight the highs of the year...trips, holidays, special occasions, and this is all great. But in between those highlights are a whole lot more ordinary days that actually are a more accurate depiction of our life.

I've observed this week for three years now, simply by doing that: observing Ali as she does this project. But behold! Something has come over me this year, and I'm in. I didn't participate the past few years because I thought since we don't have kids, there wouldn't really be a whole lot to document in terms of actual things happening. But looking back, had I started this project, I'd have a week of our "normal" life while we lived in Montana, our "normal" when we lived in Minnesota and our "normal" last year in Nebraska. And I'm already bummed I didn't jump on this wagon earlier.

So this year, I'm grabbing my camera and will take pictures of the ordinary: my daily bowl of raisin nut bran that gets me started each day, my husband picking away at his laptop, my work, our church, and all the other ordinary things that given a bit of time and perspective, won't all seem so ordinary.

All of the details can be found here...it's a lot of digging around to get a feel, but at its core, it's creating a scrapbook of ordinary life, grocery shopping receipts, to-do lists and I'm excited to get started.

Anybody want to do this with me?!! It begins Monday April 19th.

things that make me happy lately...

I listen to Pandora while at work. And just this week I created a new station for Patty Griffin. It's the best station I've created. Nora Jones and Allison Krauss and Dar Williams (hadn't listened to her since college!) and other kick back female songwriters are singing me through my days and it's made the 9 hours at my desk quite lovely.

I have a new blog I visit for eye candy. Emphasis on the candy, because this is a blog that simply posts pictures of lovely parties. Each is over-the-top in its own way, but so fun to gawk at. Just take a moment to scroll down real fast until you find pictures that fit your style. You'll be left inspired. Promise. (my favorite is this one)

The past two middle-of-the-nights we've had loud, booming thunderstorms with rain and wind blowing against our window. I love being in cozy-snug in bed when this happens and Rory loves watching the storm on his software.

I read this story (called A Birthday Story...scroll to this post) the other day and was moved and inspired. I like being moved and inspired.

At lunch on Wednesday, this program was being discussed and I had to look it up. I'm not a coupon clipper, but this is compelling stuff!