dada dada dada dada

Pretty sure I have never seen you so happy. This little boy loves you with his whole heart and is so blessed to have you as his dad. Happy Father's Day, Rory!

the umbrella stroller

I recently wrote about how I spent my grandma's christmas money on a braun hand blender when I was in middle school. It was a smart purchase as I still use that kitchen gadget today. Turns out, I was pretty brilliant in choosing my gifts from grandma and seem to have kept the future in mind. Because when I was in 5th grade a picked out this umbrella stroller with my grandma and grandpa's christmas money and used to wheel my dolls around in it. Now, 20 years later, I am wheeling my baby around. Talk about bang for your buck!

special toast

My mom was over on Tuesday and Wednesday helping take care of me. We knew I was getting better when I asked her to make me Special Toast. It's the staple on-the-mend food in my family: cinnamon and sugar toast cut into strips. It's the cutting into strips that makes it Special Toast. Otherwise it would just be cinnamon toast. It is unbelievably good when your tummy is completely empty and your appetite begins to come back.

Thanks so much for all of the well wishes and kind emails and phone calls. Yesterday turned into a lovely day of reconnecting and telling everyone all about the crystals that are floating around in my ears. (That's what causes vertigo...isn't that so wierd?!!) I turned a corner early in the evening yesterday and today I'm seeing the world right side up again.

vertigo

I’ve been out of commission the past few days with vertigo.

My eyes couldn’t make sense of what I was seeing. All four walls were spinning around, the ceiling and floor were swinging into each other and the windows, art, closet, tv and furniture were whipping around in the midst of it all. Everything seemed to move far away and then zoom up close and all the while my eyes were trying to connect the pictures back to the walls, attach the lights back on the ceiling and place the shoes back on the floor. But nothing would stick.

It felt like eight nightmarish hours of being stuck on some sickening ride at a crappy midway.

Rory took me to urgent care after hours of throwing up and hoping for the symptoms to lessen. I kept my eyes shut most of the time, but opened them while crossing over highway 62 and all cars I saw looked like they were swinging far, far away and then slingshot back in my face.

When we got to urgent care, Rory ran in to get me a wheel chair. He came out with a wheel chair that would easily fit three of me, making every doorway was nearly impossible to clear. In some comedic twist, I sat in the chair miserable, dry heaving and spinning uncontrollably, while Rory banged multiple times on multiple doorways trying to get my wide self to clear the frame.

I spent the last 48 hours doing special exercises in an attempt to get all the parts of my inner ear back in order. I still don’t walk around without having furniture close by to hold on to and thanks to my mom and Rory, Ivar is being well cared for.

All this to say. Ish. I hope this is a one-time bout with vertigo and would wish this upon no one. Ish, ish, ish.

image source: here

garden sticks

I found this idea in a Martha magazine. Our markers in the garden are lilac branches that are peeled just a bit with a vegetable peeler in order to make a flat surface to write what has been planted where. We're excited for this project to come full circle when we can use that same vegetable peeler to peel our carrots!

the happiest news to share

Svea and Ivar are going to get to hang out a whole lot more in the very near future. It makes me so happy I could cry. When we first heard the news I literally did a happy dance...spooked the baby, full body in motion, singing "They're coming home to Minnesota! Home to Minnesota!"

That's right: my sister Annika and her family are moving from Montana to Minnesota. You can read all about it on her blog. I know it will be sad to leave Montana, but let it be known I could not be anymore excited, thrilled and happy about this change of scenery for the Larson Family! And for these babies to grow up together!

a bit of my character revealed

We had new friends over recently for supper and as we were cleaning up she commented, "you're an organized person, aren't you." And I replied that you have to be in a small house but that yes, I love organization and especially eliminating clutter and that I get a high from taking loads to good will. She listened to my little monologue politely and then said, "because I've never seen anyone label their refrigerator shelves before."

I don't think I would have ever thought this odd until she verbally made her observation. And as we looked in my fridge together, gazing at the dairy on the top shelf, meat and bread on the second shelf, produce on the third, and the drinks and eggs on the bottom shelf, I realized that this probably is a very unique part of who I am.

But I've got to tell you. It is really handy. And I'll give you an extra insight. The bottom drawer is filled with water bottles and gardening seeds. And the crisper drawer is filled with our leftovers. Because I have found that drawers in a fridge are dangerous. They are like two black holes of wasted space to me. I have had too many things go bad in a fridge drawer only to find a smell before the food and always feel disappointed thinking I forgot I even bought asparagus. But Rory and I know to dig for left overs. So it works for us.

So...all of you out there. Anyone else label the shelves in your refrigerator?

Ivar's great, great aunt Stella

Ivar got to meet a new relative this week. It was a six hour drive there and a six hour drive back and he was wonderful in the car both ways. The relative was my great Aunt Stella. I wrote about her and the love of her life, great Uncle Ellis in this post.

Stella is 93 and still lives on her own in her home. She gets all of her meals from meals on wheels and on Memorial Day left her house for the first time in 8 months. We called her on Tuesday to tell her we would be there on Friday and when we arrived she had planned quite the gathering. All sorts of relatives came for lunch as she had made reservations for us to eat at the local dinner.

She banged her knife on her glass anytime she wanted to make an announcement. Which was often...and entertaining :) It was good to be with family.

babies in the backseat

Annika is in town and it is awesome. It is crazy when you actually know you are living one of the sweetest seasons of your life. This is the season where my sister and I both have little babies about the same age. Dreamy. We have spent a lot of time together since she got here. I slept over at my folks last night for a sister slumber party, we brought our babies in their baby bjorns to the church garage sale so we could have our hands free to plow through the goods for sale, and you may have even spotted us walking our strollers around the minnesota zoo parking lot(admission is $16 for a non-member! We opted just to enjoy the sights and sounds and animals on the other side of the gate.)

I had a realization the first day Annika and I were together. I laugh deeper and harder with her than with anyone else on the planet. It’s a laugh that’s got roots that are 30 years old, and used when stories are told with acute details of people and events that have layers and layers of funny attached to them.

Well. I had been thinking about this. And then today, we went and made ourselves a memory that will go down in the record books of most hysterical moments of our lives. We’ll be telling and retelling this one to our kids and grandkids. It was a moment that could have been scary, but it never was. It was only funny. And it begins like this: Remember that time we locked the keys in the car at Noodles…with both of our babies inside?

Actually, it begins like this: We had just met Dad at Noodles for lunch. Dad drove back to the church and Annika and I went to the car. Ivar needed to eat and Annika needed to make a time sensitive phone call. So I fed Ivar in the passenger seat and Annika held Svea on her lap and used my cell phone to make her call. In a bit Ivar was full and Annika was off the phone. So we stepped out of the car with our babies, crossed behind the back of the car and put them in their car seats in the back seat. We buckled them in, and closed the doors to cross behind the car again to hop in the front seats, ready to take off.

And the strangest thing happened. After we closed the back seats and were crossing to the front seats we heard the car lock. Annika froze. “What just happened? They keys are on the dash board.” And sure enough, there were the keys, right next to my cell phone.

If the weather had been hot, or had the weather been cold, if the sun had been shining in their eyes, or if any of their needs had not been met in the last 20 minutes this could have been a terrible situation. But it was a 60 degree, cloudy day. And as we looked with horror through the back window of the Bonneville at our two babies trapped inside, they looked back at us with goofy, gummy smiles as if to say, “you mom’s are so silly!”

I started laughing. Uncontrollably. Thankfully, the big sister had a more helpful and practical reaction. She caught two men on their way into Noodles and used their cell phone to call the church, who then connected us to dad. Dad had a set of keys for mom’s car and he was on his way.

We waited for dad to come standing at the back of car, watching our babies watch us. And then we used the time for meaningful, soul searching conversation. “Is that a grey hair? Do you get grey hairs?” “Of course I do! I am 30. Wait, you have to pluck it out. You can’t just tell me I have a grey hair and not get it.” “No, it’s sort of lost in all of your hair.” “No, get it out. We have time.” And then my big sister picked at my hair like a mother monkey. Our babies kept their big eyes on us and the harder we laughed the bigger they smiled.

Dad’s grey Bonneville flew into the parking lot, braked at mom’s car. He flew out with his keys and Annika blurted, “Dad! How did this happen?” I’ll never be able to quite explain the look on Dad’s face. He was mystified. His daughters had locked their babies in the car, and he was being questioned as to how it happened. I fell apart. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. And Annika too. Thankfully, Dad was there to actually unlock the car, rescue our keys and our kiddos and add some sanity to the situation. Annika and I were too far gone.

Dad left and we got in the car and laughed from that deep place that only comes out with my sister.

I took this picture just before we left for Noodles because I thought they were so cute together in the backseat of the car. Little did I know I'd have so much time to watch them in these seats.

forgiveness, part two

I just read a really helpful, really practical blog post by Donald Miller on forgiveness and recommend that you click this link and read it too.

I wrote about forgiveness a while back after having just felt the power of this mighty and God-given relational healer. Donald's post made me think of it and I was glad to go back and read it again. And then I came across my favorite part of The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis that paints a lonely picture of what our lives look like if we were to never use this healing power in our messy, human, hurting relationships.

When I read and reread these posts I was thinking that I'm actually in a season right now where I am not harboring anything. And it feels so good. But then I remembered yesterday. I was on the phone with a friend and something was said that felt like a slap. It wasn't meant to hurt, but in an instant it sucked the energy out of the conversation and I became short and clipped and ready to get off the phone. So I ended the conversation, but not before I let my change of temperature be very known.

I hung up, brooded for a while, felt every muscle in my body tense and then did something very, very rare. I picked up the phone and hit redial. And I named the entire thing. "Hey, I want to apologize because I just got short with you. When you said x, I felt...because... But then I got rude and impatient with you and that wasn't fair." The friend quickly replied, "Oh I know. The second I said it I knew it was heard wrong. I am so glad you called back." And we each forgave the other, me for what was said, she for how I treated her after it was said.

I hung up and my muscles relaxed and all I could hear, ringing in my ears was "And the truth shall set you free." It did. It always does.

happy birthday dad!

My mom and my sister did a switcheroo this week. Mom is in Montana with Mara and Sonna and Annika is back in Minnesota for a wedding. This meant that Dad got to celebrate his 67th birthday with his daughters and their babies. It was a sweet day of baby holding, Oprah viewing, blonde brownie eating and celebrating dad.

church garage sale

Just a heads up. This Thursday starting at 4:00, my home church, Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran in Apple Valley is having their annual church garage sale. It is ENORMOUS and all money raised goes to children in need (a collection of various charities, I believe).

Check out the website for more information: SOTV homepage. I adore garage sales (already been to a dozen or so this spring) but this one is really something else- entire rooms of the church are designated for sporting equipment, baby items, furniture etc... It's something to behold!

neighbors

I think the very best part about all of our back yard projects has been reconnecting with our whole neighborhood. We live on a very friendly street- actually, alley and street. And the neighbors are so excited to see what we're up to. Rory, Ivar and I went for a walk a few nights ago and never made it out of the alley. We stopped and talked to seven houses.

Oprah's last Oprah

On Wednesday, Oprah will air her show finale and my sister just happens to be in town for a wedding. If there is one person I'd like to watch the finale with, it would be Annika. We used to watch a whole lot of Oprah together growing up. So I sent her this personal evite and we've got a viewing date.

I haven't watched Oprah in ages, but I have been tuning in these last final episodes. Something about it actually does feel sort of momentous. No matter what you think of her, the woman has had a whole lot on influence.

Art Day

I got the greatest invitation from a crafty friend of mine. She asked if I wanted to join her art club and described it as something similar to a book club, but instead of reading books they gather monthly and get creative. I actually squealed at the computer when I got this thoughtful, super-fun invitation. I missed my first month because Ivar had a fever, but I was able to go this past month and took my first stab at mosaic.

The morning was fantastic...full of good food, good conversation and the time and space to try something new. One person hosts each month and chooses the project, sends a link to what we're going to make as well as a supply list of what we should bring. In this case, we brought our own pot, tiles and hot glue gun, but she supplied the grout and sponges. I loved doing a new project group-style. It felt less intimidating to try something new this way.

And you know the very best part? I didn't have to come up with some excuse as to why I didn't finish the book...

a message from cheerbear

Hi everybody,
My name is Cheerbear and I come from the land of Care-a-lot. The thing is, when you come from a place like Care-a-lot, you tend to care for other people. A lot. So imagine my worry when I heard that Mara, Becca's 6-year-old niece lost her dear Bedtime Bear while driving back to Montana from Minnesota! Word has it, they think it fell out of the car at a rest stop! Oh, how terribly sad for Mara! She misses that carebear a lot and feels especially sad at night. And who could blame her?

Now, I'm not worried about Bedtime Bear. We Carebears actually enjoy a change of scenery once in a while and find that a big move across the country can be quiet the awesome adventure. We're very happy wherever we are, because we have come to find that people are very good to us and we tend to make friends easily!

Anyway, when I heard that Mara is missing her dear Bedtime Bear, I came up with a plan. I bravely decided that just like Bedtime Bear is enjoying new surroundings at some truck stop somewhere in South Dakota, it might be time for me to go on an adventure to Montana.

So this week, I am going to travel to a land I've never been, called Montana. I can't wait. And Mara will be my new bedtime snuggler.

When I told my stuffed friends of my plans, Stuffed Squirrel just couldn't contain his excitement and begged that he be allowed to come along for sister Sonna. And you know, I'm so relieved to have a companion on my journey. Everything is more fun with a friend.

So this is goodbye, Becca's blog friends. I am off to the mountains, and hope dearly that one day I might return to Minnesota. But until then I'll be living the dream with Stuffed Squirrel.

Sincerely,
Cheerbear

lilacs

My favorite smell in the world is lilac. Our backyard is lined with nine lilac bushes and they fill the air with the strongest, most fantastic lovely smell.

I remember last year, Rory and I were taking a walk in Gretna and found a backyard filled with lilac bushes just like our place in Minneapolis. We were smelling the flowers when the owners of the home came outside. By the time we left their yard they invited us to come back with vases and scissors to cut our own bouquets. And we did. A couple different times over the next 10 days.

I think that is how lilacs should work...if you don't have your own, you should really find someone to make you a bouquet. And if you have a whole bunch, you should be responsible to share them with others. The blooming season is just so short, it should really be enjoyed by as many people as possible. Let me know if you need a lilac partner and I'll hook you up :)

happy friday

motherhood, for me:

I have been trying to write a piece on motherhood for a few weeks now. I wanted to have something new on the blog for mother's day... sort of a reflective piece on 'life as a mom six months in..."

Turns out, I don't get as much time to write precisely because I am a mom. Also, everything I wrote felt accurate for some moods, and totally fictitious...depending on what kind of day it was. Yesterday I had a day that provided a bit of clarity for how I have experienced motherhood and I'd like to share this with you today.

***

I’m pretty sure I would sum up motherhood as a combination of two kinds of days. There are days when I feel like I've got it together, all plates are spinning in the air and I feel confident that I might just have this whole multi-tasking thing down. I walk around singing Chaka Khan's I’m every woman and enjoy a fridge full of food, the baby sleeping in his crib and the house looking clean and tidy. The laundry is clean and the dishes are done and the sunshine is pouring in through the windows. Right on the heels of those magical days come other days when I wonder if I could be any more disorganized, google recipes for what I can make with baking soda, A1 sauce and eggs that might be expired, do a double take to be sure those dust bunnies aren't actual bunnies and walk around the house singing Gnarls Barkley's I think I’m crazy.

Trouble is, when I wake up in the morning, there is no telling which song is waiting for me to sing.

For example, Friday I woke up ready for coffee with a group of women from church to celebrate a friend who is walking through a really challenging season. We were all supposed to bring something for her to enjoy, so the night before I baked chocolate chip cookies and found a few of my very favorite magazines, tied these gifts up with a lovely fabric ribbon, printed out the directions to where we were meeting and woke in time to get a shower in. I was about to leave my house with plenty of time to arrive right on time, directions in hand, feeling cute (read: showered) and I just may have been thinking proud thoughts like, “looks like someone’s got her act together.”

Checked my phone on the way out the door and the coffee had been postponed. It was a bummer, but Rory encouraged me to still use the time to do something by myself- he had Ivar.

The day was a great day. I went grocery shopping, bought birthday gifts for nieces and nephews and felt in control.

Fast forward to yesterday morning, the morning of the rescheduled ladies coffee.

I wake up and am not feeling super rested. The cookies that had been baked for last Friday have been consumed. No new cookies were baked. The magazines that were wrapped in a pretty ribbon were forgotten in the church nursery on Sunday morning. The directions for where I am heading were thrown away during a weekend cleaning.

I thought about taking a shower, but upon unzipping my son’s sleep sack, I realize that he is the one who gets to bathe this morning, as he is smeared in poo from the neck down. I have a flashback of me changing his diaper at 6 am and actually thinking, “I don’t need to keep my eyes open. Blind people change their baby's diapers all the time.” I regret not having opened my eyes during the changing as the diaper was only covering one butt cheek so that all of his poo snuck out the side, avoiding the diaper entirely. I made a mental note to leave blind diaper changing to the actual blind and to use my sight for all future diaper changes.

I call the church, and my friend Allie spots the magazines in the nursery right where I had left them.

As I leave the house, I am already late, though I still need to stop by the church to get my gift. I have not showered…in fact, I am sporting my glasses as there was no time for contacts. I carry no cookies and if we are really honest, I believe Rory and Ivar are probably relieved to see moody-me walk out the door.

The contrast between these two days is the very best way I can sum up what my new life is like as a mom. Some days I’m every woman, and other days I think I’m crazy. And yet, I have never in my life been so happy, been so hormonal, been so high, and been so humbled as I have while walking through this first year of motherhood.

Our Vegetable Garden

The weather turned nice in Minnesota and Rory and I hit the yard with wild abandon. We had been visualizing our game plan all spring-that-was-really-winter-still. So when the weather turned lovely, we got busy.

Rory worked on his raised bed vegetable garden and I planted a raspberry patch (more on that later). Ivar was a champ and either napped incredibly long naps or came out to kick it with us in the back yard. He is such a content kid.

Rory preps the ground for his raised bed.

One side of the frame is tarped to block topsoil weeds.

The finished frame.

Rory made his soil from scratch. He had to pick up bulk supplies from a garden wholesaler: compost (with manure of course), peat moss, and vermiculite.

The only way to mix the large quantities (almost 40 cubic feet) was rolling it around in a large tarp.

Rory followed a technique called Square Foot Gardening, where every crop gets planted in its own square. This lets him rotate the vegetables and stagger the harvest all summer long.
Next he'll plant lettuce, spinach, broccoli, squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, onions and potatoes.