reflections on my 2013 one-little-word

My 2013 one-little-word for the year was Reflect. It's a good word, and a good practice. I enjoyed it for the first half of the year as it led to some soulful conversations and thoughtful writing at the end of most months.

But you know, I had a little epiphany with this word and in the end I didn't care for it anymore. I'm just now (with some ahem further reflection) realizing why.

Reflection is all about looking backwards.

I spent the year turning my head to the recent past and asking reflective questions about my own life: am I happy? what would make me happy? what do I need to accomplish to be happy?

The whole process of reflection is quite self-centered and takes little notice of the long view. (Okay, I hear what you're thinking...yes reflection is important. Yes, what we discover can shape our future. Yes, it is good to take note of how we spend our money, time, gifts etc. Yes, you are right. But hear me out.)

I think I spent the year over-reflecting. Thinking too hard about the happiness of my every day. And the truth is, taking care of two very dependent kids, meeting their every need, feeding every meal, changing every diaper (or potty training mess) isn't necessarily happy work. It's worthy work, but not always laugh-out-loud slap-my-knee I'm-so-blissed-out happy.

Checking in with myself so frequently was getting me all out of joint. Becoming so introspective was becoming a serious downer. Because turning so inward isn't healthy. There's a whole lot more to life than just my own little opinions of my own little life.

So I'm going to stop reflecting so much in this year ahead. And in 2014, my word will turn my head back so I'm looking forward again. It's exciting, it's got me all fired up and I'm already living it out.

More on that tomorrow...