looking lovely

Rory mowed the lawn the other night right after my dad had weed whipped and all of the sudden our farm looked gorgeous. You know how that takes a while each spring? Our farm went through a real gnarly phase after the winter and we had lots of piles to put away like cinder blocks, a wood chipper covered in blue tarp, piles of wood and lots of weeds. But we have been wood chipping our trees, weeding like crazy and building new fences so that all of the sudden it all looked lovely again.

I have so much to write about it seems, but I can't seem to catch up. So I'll just tell you one thing I've been wanting to share for a while now: Rory and I sheared a sheep together. We had a professional come out last Saturday to do all the sheep, but weeks before he was scheduled to come we had 90 degree days and a Ewe who had five inches of wool on her. We had to help! So we ordered hand shears on Amazon, watched a few Youtube videos of Amish shearing sheep and gave it a go.

I am so sorry we don't have pictures. That will be a regret forever. Because the words 'hack job' come to mind. Though that maybe makes it sound worse than it was. We were decent. It took us two nights, working from "the kids are in bed...let's go!" to sundown. We took turns pinning the Ewe down (think WWF) and shearing. It actually was good fun and every snip felt like we were liberating that sweet Ewe from a northface parka on a July summer day. She actually acted grateful and relaxed after she figured out what we were up to.

So add that to the list of unexpected life experiences. I can now say, "I have sheared a sheep."

When we were all done and walking back to the house I said to Rory, "I just want to point out that you married a really good sport." And he replied, "Well, you knew what you were getting into when you married a computer programmer."

Exactly. 

every age and every stage

A random list of things I want to remember about each kid...

+Recently when I hand Hattie her lunch or breakfast or do something she likes she will yell, "Yayyyy, Mama!" And I think it's so nice to hear such affirming words. I've started saying it aloud to myself after accomplishing other tasks like weeding the front flower beds. "Yayyyy, Mama!"

+When I hold Alden, I often pat his back. It's sort of just a habit I guess. But he has now started patting my shoulder whenever I am patting his back and I'll tell you what. A pat on the back still feels nice. I think he's also telling me I'm doing a good job.

+Elsie's grief with Miracle was very interesting to watch. She cried for hours. She wouldn't go outside for days. Now she goes and sits by his grave and prays for him. She draws pictures of him as a "huge ram in heaven."

That weekend we read two books aloud to help us pass the time and Elsie crawled into my lap and lay like a little baby wrapped into me as I read aloud to everyone. I loved it as I realized at one point that Ivar is too big now to do this, and my days with Elsie this little are passing too. So I'm planning to read a lot of books aloud this summer...

+Ivar is totally seven. Today he asked me, "mom, do you know what the last letter is in The Hobbit comic book? Guess." So I guessed for a while. And then he told me, "it's S. You want to know what word is the last word?" "For sure I want to know." "Goodness. That's the last word." Age seven, man. It's so awesome.

saying goodbye

We knew Miracle’s vet visit on Friday was unlikely to have a good outcome. It had been a week since Miracle stopped walking on his own and he was growing more lethargic each day. Despite everything we tried, nothing seemed to be working. It seemed his muscles just could not keep up with the weight of his body as he grew. He was barely able to lift his head by the end and it was hard to see him struggle. He didn't like being unable to move as much as we didn't like watching his frustration.

So we spent time saying goodbye Friday morning before Rory brought Miracle in. It was terribly sad. We bottle fed Miracle for 10 weeks. He has lived in our house for two different weeks. He knows our family well, and we loved him so much.

Just as we were saying our final goodbyes, a rain cloud moved overhead and thunder began rumbling the earth. And as we cried, the thunder rumbled. Then Rory said it was time for him to leave with Miracle and we all cried and big raindrops began to fall. Rory carried Miracle into the back of the minivan and as we stood in the garage the sky opened up, it poured down and by the time Rory was pulling out of the driveway, the sun was back out. I took a picture of the sky just so I'd remember that strange moment of feeling seen from above.

The appointment went as we had suspected. Rory had been giving Miracle antibiotics, Vitamin B-complex and a host of other shots all week long. After a thorough exam the vet said there was nothing more we could do. Whatever disease was affecting him was only going to get worse. Rory returned home with Miracle's body and we decided to bury him under the tree he would lay under, waiting for one of us to come outside the house.

I will say that these last ten weeks have been very, very special for our family. This little lamb brought us so much joy and love. We slowed our lives down for his little life, set alarms, walked to the barn on snowy, blowy nights at 2am. We do not regret a moment of caring for this lamb, even though the ending was not at all what we expected. Each day I say part of Psalm 34 to the kids as we begin homeschooling. I say, "Come my children, listen to me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies, turn from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it."

Many times while caring for Miracle I would think those words, "whoever of you loves life" and affirm it to myself again: we love life. Every moment spent working towards the health of this little lamb's life felt worth it. We don't regret a moment of care. I don't resent having gotten out of bed so many nights to go and feed him out in the barn. It was worth it because we love life and we loved Miracle.

barnyard roundup

People keep asking me how big our pigs are now. And I never know how to answer that question. Real Big is my answer...and getting bigger every day. I am still quite a bit afraid of them. And I also think they're pretty cool. And then intimidating.

We finished our chicken yard this week! It's awesome. We are so pleased with how it turned out and even more pleased to play in the rock  box without chickens harassing Hattie. :) 

While we put the fencing up around the chicken yard, these two kittens were our constant entertainment. Better than a show on nova, our kittens are here to entertain.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 ready for the day. No kidding. I have no idea what that was all about but I felt great and the sun was bright and I was excited to do all the chores before 6. So I took off to feed the chicken Layers and then went out to let the chicken Broilers out of the chicken tractor. And before I knew it, I had 51 birds trying to eat my toes that were exposed as I was wearing my flip flops. It was terrible! I screamed and hooted and yelled and danced a jig to their feed bucket as fast I could and started dumping feed all over the yard telling them to "shoo!" "get!" "back off!" while stomping my feet and curling my toes. Also, we got all males this year because they grow to be a bigger bird and I think they're missing the ladies. There is a lack of love in those eyes, don't you think?

And finally, Miracle. We have had a really hard week with Miracle. He didn't walk for five days in a row. For a while the vet said she thought he had Polio. But then his temperature spiked the highest it has ever been which made her think he has some sort of infection. So he went back on antibiotics. He lays in the grass up by our house all day long and we visit him and bring him fresh alfalfa and clover. He is still so, so sweet. Tomorrow we are taking him to the vet and I honestly have no idea what the outcome of that visit will be. In a sudden twist, he walked to the garage this afternoon, but couldn't walk again after that, so now we're more puzzled than ever.

But we are so thankful for our vet. She is incredible. Last weekend Rory got off the phone with her and said to me, "She is so sharp. I want to start bringing our kids to see her." Ha! I thought that was the funniest thing ever, and a very high compliment. But she is that good. A large animal vet is an exciting person to know. One time I went to get medicine for Miracle and asked if she was in the office and the receptionist checked her computer and said, "no, she's offsite in the middle of a surgery on a cow." Can you imagine having dinner each night at her family table? "So, what did you do today, dear?"

So keep Miracle in your thoughts and prayers. Once again we have no idea how this story will end.

guy smiley

This is my boy Alden and he is so great. At this picnic he ate three full spears of asparagus (from our garden!) a big slice of watermelon, half a pork chop and a whole ear of corn that had been cut off the cob. He just kept eating and I don't know if he would have stopped if we hadn't cut him off. 

His favorite word is "hi" and he uses it even when I am leaving his room after nursing him and putting him down. He also is quite proud of his sign for "all done" when he opens and closes his fists high in the air. He pulls himself up on all of the furniture and pulls down whatever is within reach. He smiles all. the. time. and if he's extra happy, he will squint his eyes for no extra cost.  And he gives easy belly laughs when you build a block tower and let him knock it over. 

He's going to be one year old next month. I'd say it has gone really fast, except that I hardly remember life without him around. From the start it has always felt like he's an old friend who fit right into our family. Alden, you are adored.