here's your Jesus

Our bedtime routine includes all the usual and ends with each kid picking out a book, one or two stories from their kids Bible and finally bedtime prayers.

Here's the thing: my bedtime prayers have been really terrible. I'm so done with the day that often I say them while tucking them in, praying a litany of thank you's for all that we did that day and then closing their door and walking down the stairs.

Obviously there is no such thing as a bad prayer, but I believe in the power of prayer and always knew I wasn't using that time very well. I wasn't modeling the importance of prayer and I wasn't saying much of impact of influence over their little hearts.

I heard recently of the power of praying a blessing over each child before they go to bed. For a few weeks now I have been trying this and I love it. We finish the three books and then I get Elsie tucked in first, make the sign of the cross on her forehead and then pray with something specific I noticed in Elsie during that day, "Dear Jesus, I thank you that Elsie is such a good listener. Thank you that she listened well to her teachers at ecfe, that she got her crocs on quickly when I ask her to. Lord, I pray that she would learn to listen for your voice, listening for your lead and to do the work you call her to. I pray that you would always speak into her life and that she would have ears to hear. Amen."

Then I go to Ivar and do the same thing. The kids are usually pretty quiet for the other kid, wanting to hear what I'll say. And they lay so still. In some miraculous way, these bedtime blessings have now become a favorite part of my day. This time is now filled with meaning and is precious to everyone in our family.

Rory came down from tucking them in a few nights ago and told me that after her blessing, Elsie was singing loudly and bouncing during Ivar's blessing. So Ivar sat up and told her, "No Elsie! You already had your Jesus!"

The blessings are short, they are specific and they are special to each kid. And the kids love it.

So go give your kids their Jesus.

why I love being a mom

Elsie was supposed to be in nap time/quite play time but clearly had made it into the bathroom where she had mascara time. Impressively, she got quite a bit of mascara on her actual eye lashes. And even more impressively, she is not blind after using so much mascara so closely to her eyes!

The moment was hilarious to me. It felt like I had arrived at a quintessential moment in raising a little girl. She watches me when I put on my makeup and always asks who wears makeup. We talk about how her cousins Ruby, Mara, Sonna and Svea do not wear makeup yet. But that Josie and Maddie do because they are older. She'll ask if Grandpa Paul wears makeup or cousin Jack. And we talk about how makeup is just for girls when they are bigger. She's very interested in all of it.

I maybe should have taken less adorable pictures in this moment and scolded a little harder, because the next day she found my same mascara (I know, I know) and came down just as proud and pleased. So then we put the kibosh on using mom's makeup and mom also put her makeup on a high shelf.

These moments in motherhood are so sweet. They're such an honor. To get to explain how some things we have to wait to do until we're older. To teach and show and direct and explain. I'm really loving this part of the mama gig lately. Ivar and Elsie have these fresh eyes on the world and are full of wonder. Their enthusiasm this spring for dandelions and violets is helping me see these beautiful things with my own fresh eyes.

I have the honor to get to introduce them to the world, but at the same time, they're reintroducing me to the awe and wonders of the world that abound when you're a kiddo.

Sara has a song called I Can't Wait, and I'm just realizing she has already summed up in song what I'm trying to say in words. The chorus says, "And you'll teach me of hearts and dreams, and all the most important things, and all that I have lost along the way. And I can't wait."

Happy Mother's Day Everyone!

blooms everywhere!

This springtime is stunning. Our tulips are glorious, the apple blossoms and cherry blossoms are amazing and now the lilacs have bloomed and the whole world smells like something you could never put in a bottle.

Elsie asks us every day, "what day is it today?" We say, "Friday." And she says, "No! I want it to be Springtime!" Which I could not figure out for weeks until she was singing herself to sleep one night, her favorite song from ECFE, "Spring is Coming, Spring is Coming, Hear the Birds! Hear the Birds! They are busy looking, they are busy looking, For big fat worms. For big fat worms." The next morning I told her we could change the song to Spring is Here! Spring is Here! And I think she was satisfied. Because it really is here!

burn piles

At ECFE yesterday (the weekly parent-child preschool we go to) the kids got to finger paint with orange, yellow and red and then glue logs on top to make camp fires. After class, Ivar's teacher told me that Ivar was the most enthusiastic about the project and told his friends, "I'm going to give this to my dad! He loves burn piles! He does a burn pile like every day!"

Oh this made me laugh. We actually have only had two burn piles this week, but we also burned down the rest of the barn (we'll call that one very large burn pile), so there have been quite a few "camp fires" at the grovestead lately.

It certainly makes for some exciting days for little boys and little girls watching their dad use a chainsaw, watching trees falling over, getting tractor rides and seeing big fires (of course they are always a good distance away from all of these dangerous things!) We are clearing out a lot of undergrowth under our oak trees. A year ago we had a guy from the DNR come out here and tell us that our grove is actually an Oak Savannah and if wild fires came through every so often like historically they would have, all of the undergrowth would burn off, leaving only the oaks, as they can survive wildfires (your fun fact for the day!) 

In decades past, the people who lived here either had pigs or goats that kept the undergrowth at bay. Neighbors have told us they used to gallop their horses through our groves, they were literally that wide open. Now it has been so long since the previous owner had goats that we can hardly walk back into these groves. So we're going in there with a chain saw, a tractor and ultimately our own wild fire (Rory's burn piles) and taking back the Oak Savannah.

home education

Believe me, I know there are some mighty strong opinions out there on this topic. Rory and I are currently wading through the pros and cons of homeschooling and I know lots of people have lots of passionate ideas. Maybe I am so sensitive to it because my whole life I thought homeschooling was weird mostly because I loved my own public education experience so much.

But something has shifted in my thinking, and it's due largely to a lot of the home educated kids I now know in my own town, and their families. So Rory and I have been reading and listening and even attended a three day conference at the River Center for Christian Home Educators.

I have so much to share, but I want you to hear me on this point: whether we end up sending our kids to public school or decide to home educate, my role and responsibility is the same: to raise well adjusted kids who know what they believe and why they believe it. The whole time I was at this conference I thought it was a shame that it was only home educating parents in the workshops because these topics are so universally helpful.

For example, Rory and I attended a number of workshops: Staying connected as husband and wife while raising little kids, Successfully scheduling your day, The Preschool Years, What the Bible says about the role of the parent, Etiquette for boys, Etiquette for girls,  Learning Styles: Parents and Kids, The importance of Motherhood.

All of those are applicable to every parent under the sun. And we learned SO MUCH. The content was rich, the speakers were encouraging. We came home and radically changed how we structure our days and it has made a world of difference. Already, whether we go this route or not, we have gained and learned so, so much.

Here are my favorite take-aways:

Learning Styles:
We walked through a few different profiles, and then took a survey for each person in our family. In this inventory I came out quite Abstract Random and Ivar came out very Concrete Sequential. And as we sat there listening to the different traits I was able to recognize that every night when Ivar asks, "Mom, what's the plan tomorrow?" He not only wants to know, he needs to know. And first thing in the morning he asks for me to draw a schedule of our day. If I deviate, he struggles. I sat there and felt so convicted. I have no problem flying by the seat of my pants each day, but my son does. And I owe it to him to have a set routine that he can depend on. I definitely have to teach him flexibility within that routine, but I really felt the desire to offer consistency to his days. So we've started a schedule and in the two weeks we've used it, our days run more smoothly and much more happily. I'll write more about that another time.

The Preschool Years:
Rory and I went to this workshop and sat in the front row. The instructor has eight kids and basically gave practical tip after practical tip on how she runs her household. It was pure gold. But she told one story that stood out from the rest. She told of a day she brought six of her kids to Target and how it didn't go well at all. When her husband got home from work she explained the failed and embarrassing outing. After dinner the dad sat the whole family down and talked about what was expected while shopping in stores as a family. They had explicit do's and don'ts and after talking it through, they loaded the whole family back up and went back to Target simply to practice how to behave. Rory leaned over and said, "we are so reactionary." And it's true. We are in a season of saying no, no, no, to our kids all day long. And we realized how much we have failed in actually instructing our kids of our expectations before we have to react to the negative behavior. Oh this has changed everything in how I now view my role!

Etiquette for Girls:
I got so much out of this session. And most of it had to do with how we are groomed to be courteous and polite as girls, but that there are times when we can allow things to feel awkward by refusing a hug when we don't want to hug someone etc... To raise a girl to become a lady has a lot to do with teaching her what to expect out of a gentleman. And then how to not feel obligated to behave kindly if a man is not acting as a gentleman.

Etiquette for Boys:
This was a lot of practical door opening examples and how to raise a boy to have a servants heart. But so much of it had to do with when they are young and setting an example between brother and sister, husband and wife. The teacher was from Tennessee and told of how all of her boys, from a very young age, stood by their chairs until she had sat down at the dinner table. I giggled a bit at this since at this point we're trying to get our kids to stay in their chairs, so we'll work on that later. But I did love the basic respect and responsibility that is passed along when you purposefully teach your kids good manners. The instructors blog can be found here, and it is really fun to read.

Successful Scheduling:
This teacher spoke of the importance of having something to anticipate each day, as well as the importance of having enough heads up to know something unpleasant is coming up. She talked about how when we as adults know we have something coming up that we don't want to do, we really do psych ourselves up to get through it. Which means a kid has to have enough heads up to know to prepare themselves for the unpleasant thing. I thought of Ivar again and how he struggles with knowing how long an hour is. If I tell him we'll leave in ten minutes, it really doesn't mean much to him. So at the vendor fair I purchased a 60 minute timer that when you set it the whole clock turns red, and then as the minutes tick by, the red becomes smaller and smaller around the clock. It's portable and we use it mostly for clean up times, quiet play times, and "we need to leave in..." times. It's a concrete way he can feel a bit more in control of the clock. It also holds me accountable!

I guess I just wanted to pass all of this along because it was so, so helpful for me. I have more to report on practical ways we are changing the way we do things around here, but I'll save those for another (shorter) post. Until then, know that I am so inspired and encouraged in my role as the mama. It's the best feeling in the world.