grace-filled friends

Well, we've officially entered the season of Cancelled Plans. This is a tricky season to adjust to in motherhood.  I can plan all the playdates I want, but it's a real gamble if those gatherings will come to pass. Between kid's illness, mama exhaustion and bad weather life is a little less predictable than the rest of the year.

The night before Ivar's birthday I had tables set for 26. I had six pounds of hamburger. I had two birthday cakes. I had presents wrapped and party games. And then in the middle of the night, I had a little birthday boy with the flu. And a cancelled birthday party.

The next weekend I was set to celebrate Annika's birthday with her and my mom with a nice lunch and later was supposed to go to a mom's conference with church friends. But that morning I woke up with vertigo so extreme that I couldn't lift my head off the couch. And I was so sorry for myself!

And this past week I took the kids to a class in town and didn't realize until later that I had also told a friend I'd meet her at the ymca for a water weights class. I totally stood her up. So I left her a crazy-apologetic voicemail telling her how badly I felt. But when we connected next, her response stopped me in my tracks.

She wrote the nicest, most grace-filled, understanding reply, reminding me of the season of life we're in, that between sick kids and off days and bad weather and keeping all the plates spinning, we just have to do our best.

I was so grateful. It was the exact grace-filled encouragement that my mom-heart needed to hear. And I'm so glad to have heard that right on the onset of this stay-flexible season. Last year my friend Rachel and I tried to meet up six times throughout the winter, and always one of our kids was sick or the roads were bad. It never failed. We'll try again this year, but be ready to give a lot of grace too when our plans fall through.

So here's to putting things on the calendar and hoping they happen. And for grace to give and receive when they don't.

the 'got done' list

I just had the most amazing epiphany.

I was thinking about how I fight against my daily to do list. Because in my head, and on paper, I have lots of things I'd like to get done. But the end of the day comes and sometimes things get done, but other days nothing is accomplished. I know I've been working all day because I'm tuckered out, but it's hard to know where the day went.

It's hard to not have measurable work. I don't really have much to show for a day, except for children that are still alive and enjoying a secure and happy childhood. And that is enough if I am in my right mind. But if I am in my wrong mind I can go a little batty with the undoing of all the things I'm doing. Like the dishes that need to be washed again because we dirtied them again. Or the laundry that needs to be put away or washed or a combination of both. Or the kitchen floor that was just swept and spot mopped but again has sticky spots and crushed cereal and flattened raisins.

At the end of the day there isn't a lot to show for my time. We live in this house and it shows.

So it dawned on me. My to do list is what I'd like to get done. But often the day has other plans for me. Like to help Ivar come off of his tantrum because he couldn't put his vest on by himself. Furious he cried because he could not reach that other arm hole and would not let me help. Or like how lunch got so messy it necessitated baths for both kids...and they ended up spilling lots of water on the bathroom floor. Or like how I made three meals that kept all bodies in the house healthy and happy. Or how, on an impulse, I finally made a phone call reconnecting with a friend long overdue.

The epiphany is that at the end of the day I should make a GOT DONE list.

My list would read like this:
-Helped Ivar work through his tantrum
-Cleaned bathroom floor and my children
-Made B, L and D for all
-Reconnected with friend

And I might add more:
-Unloaded and loaded dishwasher
-Carried a laundry basket upstairs full of clean clothes
-Carried a laundry basket downstairs full of dirty clothes
-Played Thomas the Train and made up a very clever plot line
-Fed and watered cats and chickens
-Built a fort out of couch cushions
-Put living room back together after bedtime routine

Does this make sense? None of these things would ever appear on my morning to do list. And yet it is so satisfying to see it all written out at the end of the day. I'm not sitting idle. I know that for sure. But I rarely have had anything to show for my days. Until now. The Got Done list changes everything.

a potato bouquet

Our basement has limestone walls and an old cistern. The house dates back to the 1890's, and when you are in the basement, this is not hard to believe.

I went down there to find some onions and potatoes to bring up to the pantry and found this lovely bouquet, all happy to see me. Coming from a pampers diapers box were all sorts of potato shoots, looking for soil or light or someone just to notice them.

I noticed and brought the box upstairs to show Rory the last of his 2013 potato harvest. We laughed so hard! And now we are determined to eat every one of our 2014 potatoes before they grow eyes...and legs...and arms...

winter prep

Last week I turned into a little squirrel, getting everything all set for the first snow. Instead of gathering nuts and hiding them, I cleaned storage areas and organized them which is one of my very favorite things to do. I love organizing and sorting and giving things away and finding a system to keep items organized so that everything has a home. I hung a lot on the walls in the shed, sorted things by type and then made a few trips to good will.

And then I raked the lawn. I asked Rory if he would help and he said, "I won't, as a matter of principle. I don't agree with raking a yard this big. Becca, do you know what compost is? It is leaves and cut grass. People pay big money for it. I'll mow all of this in the spring, and call it compost."

Well. Apparently I still have a bit of "small yard" in my blood, because I could not let it go. The leaves were inches deep, and knowing the snow was coming the next day, I got to work. It's great cardio. I raked twice as many piles as pictured below, and then went around with a huge tarp, raked a few piles on the tarp at a time and dumped each tarp-load in the grove. I broke a sweat and felt quite accomplished when it was done.

And I did have some help. The cats liked to jump in the piles and tried many times to attack the rake. And the kids jumped from pile to pile, making them much less pile-like. I was relieved when they lost interest and went inside.

It feels so good to get everything tucked in and ready for winter. There was something that happens in my soul when I know all of the toys are out of the rock box, the strollers are in the pole barn for the season, the mower is safe in the shed, and the truck is pulled into the second stall. It's like pregnancy nesting, except instead of a baby this nesting leads to a really long winter. 

the first snowfall

We got about two inches, which clearly necessitated the use of the new tractor with snow plow implement. Rory announced our purchase of this kubota tractor over on his blog and we're pretty excited about it. It's the same tractor we've been able to use over the past two years, when we've needed it. Our good friends had it and used it mostly for snow removal in town. But he was looking for a covered cab, leaving this baby for sale. Rory has named it Kubota Tractor Groves.

On Sunday afternoon we realized we needed a home for Kubota so Rory went to Menards and bought the grey thing pictured below. It was supposed to go on the side of the house, but the land was too sloped there. So now we have this little beauty right on the side of our driveway, keeping sweet Kubota Tractor snug and dry. It also has become a favorite hang out for Ivar and Elsie, and the cat family. I have named this structure Functional Eyesore Groves. I am quite tempted to paint it red and trim it out in white.

But look at this happy, handsome man. He stayed up on Sunday night until 2 in the morning building this cozy shelter for his new baby. Welcome to the family Kubota Tractor and Functional Eyesore.