joy in the ordinary

The day after my birthday I was sitting in the sunny room while my kids napped. I watched the UPS truck pull up and I went to meet the driver in the garage and wouldn't you know, the package was for me. I opened it up and it was this book, given as a gift from my friend Shannon. Is there anything better than an unexpected gift in the mail?!!

The book is a memoir spanning three years before the author's firstborn goes off to college. She's in the midst of a midlife crisis, looking for her purpose apart from motherhood and making major life changes along the way. She is an eloquent writer, painting her life in brilliant detail, taking us all along for the ride.

A lot of the time while I read this book I had an ache in my heart remembering the truth of what so many older mothers love to remind us moms with little ones: it goes so fast.

So it was a perfect book to read poolside, child-free, while sun bathing and sipping a cherry coke. I read it and thought of the sweet pocket of time I find myself in these days. My kids are awesome, they are so fun. They are determined, hilarious and good company. And I am enjoying my gig as their mom so much. I feel content and grateful.

The book was great. A lovely read, and fun to walk the steps of her life during those huge years of transition. My worldview doesn't line up with hers. And I would have loved to have read of her journey from the perspective of a Christ-follower who believes in a God who makes all things new. But she is an incredible writer, thoughtful and attentive to her life in ways that open the reader's heart along the way.

It's a great book to help keep the long-view in mind. To not get so bogged down in the day to day. Often, my biggest lament to Rory when we crawl into bed is, "I have nothing to show for my day." And after reading this book, I'm not sure I ever will if I continue to measure against an outside immeasurable standard. But if I look a recent ordinary day: kids dressed and to the library, followed by an impulsive trip to the cupcake shop, home for lunch and naps, dishwasher unloaded and loaded, kitchen floor swept and living room floor picked up, a long walk outside with the kids, hamburger helper for supper, bedtime routine, snuggles and just as I walk out the door one last plea, "hey mom?" "yes?" "will you just come and snuggle with me?" "I just did that." "hey mom?" "yes?" "will you come and lay down next to me?"

If I look at this ordinary day, written out bit by bit, I can see a bit clearer. This book reminded me that even in this simple, mundane routine, I have a whole lot to show for my day. They're growing up right before my very eyes.

I read this book in the happiest of places, convinced that I would come home and live out my ordinary days with the unending joy they deserve. But in an ironic (and probably predictable) twist, the kids are really sticking it to me today. They're making sure I feel the pain of having just left them for four nights. They're both super needy, super crabby, super impatient. And the house is a post-vacation train wreck. I turned off Ivar's lamp at naptime and proceeded to step on a minion followed in the next step right onto a hard red parrot. Both feet! I limped out of his room biting my tongue with each hobble. I was so mad.

So there's that too. The gift of an ordinary day is truly a gift. This book helped me remember that, even in the midst of minions and red parrots.

arizona

Back in January, when Rory and I were in Orlando for our three nights of fun, I ended our trip with a bit of a meltdown. Which might be the mild way of saying that I cried hot tears through the evening fireworks show at Epcot. Not because they were beautiful or I was moved. But because I was angry and, in retrospect, exhausted and coming off of a serious sugar crash after eating my first Cronut. 

Anyway, it was one for the record books. We had a great day all day long, but the sun had gone down while we were in the Nemo ride. And suddenly the fact that we were flying home in the morning hit me like a ton of bricks. There was so much we were supposed to have accomplished on that trip. Lots of topics we had said, “we’ll talk through in Orlando.” But the two days came and went, we played hard and suddenly our trip was coming to a close and I panicked because I still had a laundry list of things I wanted to connect on.

Instead of rationally bringing this up to my husband, in my cronut-crazy state of mind I got all mopey and dumb and lame. And botched the whole evening.  I believe the high point of the melt down was when I cried, “we haven’t even talked about when we’re going to have our next baby!” And Rory replied exasperated, “This moment is not helping us get any closer to that happening…”

Which is sort of hilarious now. (And for the record, we're not planning any babies for a while here yet...) The meltdown was epic. One that will not-be-soon (actually, never be) forgotten.

And also for the record, the cronut is over-hyped. Either get a doughnut or a croissant. But don’t get both at the same time. It's too much. And you might end up loosing your mind on your husband when you come off all that sugar.

We overdid it at Disney. It was fun to play. It was fun to be kid free. It really was super fun. But it left us both wanting a vacation, after our vacation.

So we started planning another trip. We’re in a sweet pocket of time right now with little kids that are old enough to enjoy a few days with each set of grandparents. And we're taking great advantage of this fact. 

The plan for this trip was simple: lay low. No agenda. I told Rory when the airplane landed in Arizona that my personal goal was to be attune to my own napping schedule, no one else’s.

So we just spent four nights in Scottsdale. It was lovely and in the upper 80’s, lower 90’s each day. I read one and a half books, did not get a burn and enjoyed the good company of my husband.  We hiked one morning, met up with friends for dinner one night, and visited Rory's old youth pastor for church on Sunday morning. But other than that, we were poolside, drinking cherry cokes. And the books I read greatly shaped our conversation and our time together. I'll write about those next.

eieio elsie

eieio elsie from Becca Groves on Vimeo.

Elsie has a favorite song lately and I finally got a bit of it on video. She also really likes the B,I,B,I song...not quite the B,I,B,L,E, but we'll get there...

april fools

I woke up yesterday feeling the need to do something for April Fools day. And thanks to a quick google search found this funny trick: making "juice" out of jello.

Ivar helped me make the jello, put a straw in each jar and watched as I put the jello in the fridge. A few hours later, after nap time, he asked for his juice. And when he took his first big sip through his straw he was horrified, "Oh no! My juice won't come up!" Which means either this was an awesome April Fools joke or simply Jello 101 for my son.

Later the real April Fools joke came waddling into the living room in the form of a jello covered Elsie. Rory had given our one-year-old a jar of jello set on a chair to eat on her own and then went out to meet a guy to talk about apple trees on our property. April Fools Mom! Your daughter has fists full of powerful stain-making jello in her hands and you have half a second to get her and her slippery jello back into the kitchen.

Good joke, Ror!

our first sap of the season

We took the kids out on Saturday to collect the sap. We got 7 gallons for this first collection. A pretty great amount for the first gathering. Ivar was very involved this time around, as was Elsie and Vernon the cat. It was fun to look at these pictures from tapping our trees last year and to see how my kids have changed in one year!

Now today it is cold again, snowing on and off. But this is fine in the world of sap collecting. The fluctuating temperatures is great for sap flow, which makes the crazy spring weather not feel quite so disheartening when it gets cold again. It means more maple syrup in the end.

We're celebrating April Fools day around here. At breakfast I told Ivar he should tell me, "good night" because it's silly, and April Fools day is silly. He thought that was hilarious. And then he added some potty humor that got him into trouble. But then we found this site and made these April Fools juice cups with jello for dinner tonight. And, the kids made them with me. So the joke will have to be on Rory. :)