to the new mama's

I have seven friends who have had babies in the past two months and thinking of all of them, and talking with a few of them has made me so reflective of those first few weeks with a newborn. Ivar is now 8 months old, and I honestly never would have believed how different every single month would be. What I remember is that during those first two or three or four months life is still so fragile, people’s germs are offensive, sleep is light and constantly interrupted and everything is new and awkward and exhausting.

Of course it’s all wonderful and tiny and precious too. I think I tended to write more on this blog focusing on the sweet, delightful moments.

But I just want to throw this out there for the new mamas out there whose boobs are sore, eyes are droopy and patience is shot: be good to yourself. Those first three months are really crazy. Nursing a baby with no head control and spazzy limbs is difficult. It gets easier when the baby grows a bit and can literally crane his head to help out. Figuring out how to change your baby’s diaper in a public restroom with no changing table is tricky. Once winter started to thaw our car became sort of a nursery on wheels and we found the back seat was great for changing poopie diapers and for nursing.

I was getting my hair cut today and had a flashback of me nursing Ivar on the toilet in the Juut Salon in Edina. While nursing him on that toilet he fell asleep and I remember feeling so grateful that he would sleep through my haircut. Until I stood up. Then the automatic flusher woke my son. As I remembered this I kept thinking, “why on earth did I bring Ivar to a hair appointment?!!” And you know, there is no good reason. I think I was just that desperate to get out of the house that day.

All this to say, as I sat in the waiting area today, drinking my cucumber water and flipping through a Bazaar magazine I realized that everything has gotten easier because babies get easier. Or maybe it’s just that I figured out what I was doing (and figured out that it is best not to bring Ivar to my hair appointments). But as the baby grows up there are so many helpful changes that just make life more doable. Huge milestones changed the way I planned my day to day. Suddenly Ivar could go for much longer between feedings and then he started eating cereal which seems to really stick to his ribs. He also can sit up on his own so that I can leave him in his crib playing with toys or on a blanket on our bedroom floor and he can entertain himself while I do my own thing. Now every baby is different, but I still don’t think I realized that this season was ahead when he was just a tiny peanut with skinny legs. (I know he'll be mobile soon. Don't rain on my parade...)

More than anything, just know that it goes so stinking fast. I can’t believe he is already 8 months and I can’t believe his thighs have tripled in size. Eventually you will begin to relax more and enjoy better, quality sleep. Eventually you will start to feel qualified to take a trip to Target and not end up in tears crying with your baby by the time you get back to your car. Eventually your little babe will affirm you with the sweetest thank-you you’ve ever heard, crying “MMMmmmmm” when he wants you. And only you will do, because you’re the one who gets up at night, runs back in the house for the umpteenth time to grab the diaper bag, ends up as soaking wet as the baby you are bathing in the sink, finds poop on your knuckles hours after you changed that diaper, and walks in endless circles while bouncing and singing.

You can do it. You’re the mama.

Murphy's Landing

On Saturday we took a family field trip to Murphy's Landing. It is a historical village with actors living out life in Minnesota in the 1890's (I just typed 1980's at first. Now wouldn't that be a funny village to visit! Ha!) We had a great time. We're trying to take more 'local vacations' this summer...being a tourist in our own town. And this was a perfect day adventure.

Naturally we were most excited about the gardens and what they were planting and what was starting to come up. This is the doctor's medicinal garden.
A life-in-motion museum like this is so great for gaining perspective. We saw this bedroom that would sleep a mom and dad and 3-4 kids and suddenly, our two bedroom house seemed huge. For sure we could fit a few more kids of our own in our little home.

Ivar was a sport, as always.

In every house we visited, the women were baking something incredible. It was a terrible tease, actually, because they couldn't share. Strawberry pie in one house, cinnamon rolls in another and doughnuts in another. And something crazy happened. To watch these women bake using one bowl and one spoon in an oven heated by fire made us wonder why recipes have become so complicated. The woman making doughnuts made it look so, so easy. And so simple.

So after our yummy smelling journey in the 1890's, we drove to Rory's folks and googled "1800's donut recipe" and found a very simple, very basic doughnut recipe. And proceeded to find our roots.

gift #17

Gift Number Seventeen: Ivar and I wearing our matching raincoats

gift #19

Gift Number Nineteen: A father-in-law who understands that I love fishing, I just can't touch the bait...or the fish.
Madison took Rory and I out on Saturday night and the fish seemed to like my leeches the best. It was an exciting hour out on the water and had me positioned in my favorite place during the summertime: in the front of a boat. (all fish were lovingly taken off of their hooks and placed back in the water to be with their fishy families.)

1,000 gifts

The list is started! Thank you so much for the supportive dialogue I've shared with many of you. It is helpful to know that others struggle with this online-comparison game too. And it's also grounding to remember that the grass will always be greener, but that my grass probably looks greener to someone else. The only way out of this vicious green-with-envy cycle is to recognize all of the gifts within my own life. And when I do that, my pasture becomes bright green. Feels like a breath of fresh air.

So I started writing my 1,000 gifts. I tried to overcomplicate the process at first. Wanted to go to Barnes and Nobel to pick out a nice new journal. Decided a better idea was to find an old notebook and modge podge the cover. Got the supplies out and realized that I do this a lot...get a good idea and then find ways to make the idea bigger and bigger until it's daunting.

So what did I end up with? Some good common sense (no modge podge, no new journal, no fancy pen) and an old purple spiral bound notebook.

I tend to get high on things quite easily. I should reword that since I've never done drugs... I am excitable and get excited about things easily...and this list is my new love. I'm super excited about it. So excited that I really think you've got to make your own list. You must. It is such a positive, eyes-wide-open, I'm-not-letting-my-sweet-life-go-unnoticed process. Rory has even joined in. I'll ask him if he has any gifts to add and then I write them right in the mix with an R next to them so one day we'll know who contributed what.

It's basically a journal list, a life-is-beautiful list, a God-you-are-so-good list. Focusing on all of the positive, good, lovely and so-small-you-might-miss-it-if-you're-not-paying-attention gifts we have been given.

Now go get yourself an old notebook.