the promise we made

I think it’s important to know all that I wrote about in Our Love Story in order to get the full feel for my wedding day. Because the truth is, I walked down the aisle on my wedding day with a shadow of doubt. I felt there must be some in the sanctuary who were holding their breath like I was holding mine. Could this marriage work?

I remember talking to my Grandma Harrington once about her wedding day. She said to me, “That day when your grandpa and I knelt on the alter, we made vows to each other. But more importantly we made them to God. Your grandpa and I have lived through good times and bad, and right now we’re experiencing the hardship of sickness even though we have been largely blessed by health. There have been lots of days when I am reminded that I made those vows to God just as much as I promised them to John. And that is what really holds us together.”

My grandma’s words rang in my head during the entirety of our wedding preparations. I sort of fell into a deep trust that our marriage would work because God really was at the center of Rory and my friendship and I trusted Him to hold us together. I thought of Grandma’s words nonstop, feeling comforted that God was a part of this union too, promising His love to wash over a multitude of things.

The wedding day was bliss. Being surrounded by that many friends and family was perhaps one of the greatest joys in my life. It reminded me of what heaven will be like, being surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, people who love us, people who are cheering us on. There may have been some hesitancy, but the day was joyful and fun.

Yet the day was not the happiest day of my life. The happiest day of my life came two days later.

Rory and I were on the north shore of Lake Superior, I had lost my voice entirely and was communicating with strained whisper squeaks. We were walking quietly on a beach, and I felt the weight of the world lift off of my shoulders as I realized that the thing I had just signed up for was simply to spend the rest of my life with this man: the man I loved more than anything in the world, who made life more fun, who always provided thoughtful conversation and whose company I wanted to be in all of the time. All I had done was promise to spend the rest of my life with my very best friend.

our love story

I never, ever would have thought I would marry a guy like Rory. I was looking for an extroverted, liberal Lutheran camp counselor-type, and instead I stumbled upon this conservative, more introverted, republican, pentecostal. I had heard that opposites attract, even sang the song when I was younger. But on a very logical level, my falling for Rory seemed almost impossible.

On another level though, I knew I had found my perfect companion. We weren’t actually opposites. Even though the labels and categories we fit in would make it seem that way, I had never found a guy who matched me in my excitement for life. Our church upbringings were different, but I had found my equal in someone who was striving to live out his life in accordance to his faith. Our political worldviews were hugely different, and yet, Rory was so well thought-out. He had reasons for how he saw the country best run and the conversations we shared were constructive and helpful. He was much more the public introvert in our duo, but this seemed to work out fine because I have enough extrovert for the both of us. Plus, he was funny, which always (even to this day) caught me off guard.

I fell hard for this boy. It was easy to do. He had ambition, morals, a faith that shaped his life, a deep love for his family, and let’s be honest..he was hot. Oh, and he fell hard for me too, which always feels good.

Still, I had voices that made me second guess everything. Voices that I don’t actually think were attached to any human mouths. But loud voices just the same that were saying things like, “Really? A conservative republican? Don’t you know those people are heartless, uncompassionate and selfish?” and “Assemblies of God? The word Wacky comes to mind.” These voices were LOUD and I was confused. Because Rory was painting a different picture that wasn’t heartless or wacky. He was broadening the way I saw people...most especially, him.

I was waiting for the entire world to rally behind Rory and to chant in one accord, “Marry Him! We approve! Marry Him!” But it didn’t really happen that way. Instead, one day my Aunt Jan said that she really appreciated Rory and for some reason, hearing my liberal and Lutheran Aunt Jan approve made me feel like I wasn’t just crazy and blind in love. And then my Aunt Judy told me shortly after, “You'd be a fool to let this one get away”

Very soon after I told Rory that I was ready to get married if he ever wanted to ask. Which is funny, because he had been asking if he could ask for about a half a year before I gave him the green light, signaling that now I was ready to commit my life to him.

5 years ago today

Five years ago this morning I woke up with a doozie of a cold. The sort of cold that makes your thinking cloudy, your eyes water and your head pound. I remember thinking that if this was any other day I would not get out of bed, that I'd stay under the covers and nurse my achy body all day long.

But I had places to go. People to see.

So I got myself out of bed and I got married.

The day was pure bliss. I loved my dress, loved my flowers, enjoyed having our picture taken, the day was glorious, and I remember being in awe of all of my decoration sketches and visions of this wedding were reality that day. I had wanted huge standards outside with bright colorful ribbon, and there they were, greeting us as we pulled up to the church. I had wanted a bright beautiful bouquet and it did not disappoint. I had wanted dilly bars and scandinavian folk dancing after the ceremony and we had dilly's. 600 dilly's, I believe.

Rory and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary today. FIVE YEARS!

I've never really written out our wedding story, so if you're interested at all, I hope to write out highlights from that blissful day over the next few days. I told Rory, "and I think it will be good writing because now that it's been five years I can write about the complete sob fest I had right before (and while) walking down the aisle. and I can write about my near face-plant while running to the car with a dilly in my hand."

So stay tuned. Wedding fun is coming your way.

a gala, giggles and a retreat

**My folks invited Rory and I to a Lutheran Social Services Gala on Saturday night. It was really fun to get all dressed up and the program they put on was impressive. Dad used to serve on the LSS board and I enjoyed getting to know all the different ways LSS serves the greater community.

**Last night Rory and I had our baby class again and got to watch a few videos of babies being born. Ouchie.

Then we got our pillows and yoga mats out to lay on the ground with our spouse. But we were totally confused as to how we were supposed to lay. Last week we spooned, but this week we were supposed to be face to face. And Rory thought our feet should go towards the windows, but I wanted us pointing the other direction, but then we were too close to the other couple. And I couldn't bend over to adjust the mat, and Rory's hands were full of pillows ready to lay in place. And we just kept looking at each other and trying to solve this puzzle, as if it was a challenging thing to figure out.

But finally we made it, and when we did, we looked at each other and we started laughing. The room was dark, the soothing music was on, our teacher was walking us through deep inhales and exhales and Rory and I were struck with fits of laughter. I mean, hardcore, impossible to surpress giggles. It reminded me of getting the giggles in church when you know you aren't supposed to laugh which just perpetuates the problem. All sorts of snorts and squeeks, tears and erruption laughs came out of us. Other couples sort of laughed sympathetically at us, but it just took a long, long time to recover. The rest of the room was quiet and calm. Not us.

**Today I am heading to Camp Wapo with these two:

My dad and I are leading a retreat together and I'm really excited. I love getting to collaborate with him and I will be running my Passing on the Faith workshops. I've done these workshops a half dozen times now and love the conversations that come from grandma-and-grandpa-types as we talk about specific ways they can share their faith stories and belief in Jesus with their grandkids. It's always fruitful and inspired and I love getting to be a part of the conversation.

fall color

I saw this lone branch on a bush in our backyard today. The red leaves seem to be fully embracing fall. The other branches are still bright green and must have missed the memo.

Fall is like this though, with the weather each day trying to decide if we are closer to summer or closer to winter. This morning started out as a cold and dreary day. The sort of day that demands a sweatpants, a big quilt, hot chocolate, a rip roaring fire, a good book, candles and a cat on your lap. (Did I partake in any of those things? No. But I did make puppy chow which felt cozy and nurturing. I think anything with peanut butter and chocolate is nurturing.)

But now the sun is out, the weather feels warmer and these green leaves give me hope that we've still got some warm weather in us before winter hits.