5 years ago today

Five years ago this morning I woke up with a doozie of a cold. The sort of cold that makes your thinking cloudy, your eyes water and your head pound. I remember thinking that if this was any other day I would not get out of bed, that I'd stay under the covers and nurse my achy body all day long.

But I had places to go. People to see.

So I got myself out of bed and I got married.

The day was pure bliss. I loved my dress, loved my flowers, enjoyed having our picture taken, the day was glorious, and I remember being in awe of all of my decoration sketches and visions of this wedding were reality that day. I had wanted huge standards outside with bright colorful ribbon, and there they were, greeting us as we pulled up to the church. I had wanted a bright beautiful bouquet and it did not disappoint. I had wanted dilly bars and scandinavian folk dancing after the ceremony and we had dilly's. 600 dilly's, I believe.

Rory and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary today. FIVE YEARS!

I've never really written out our wedding story, so if you're interested at all, I hope to write out highlights from that blissful day over the next few days. I told Rory, "and I think it will be good writing because now that it's been five years I can write about the complete sob fest I had right before (and while) walking down the aisle. and I can write about my near face-plant while running to the car with a dilly in my hand."

So stay tuned. Wedding fun is coming your way.

a gala, giggles and a retreat

**My folks invited Rory and I to a Lutheran Social Services Gala on Saturday night. It was really fun to get all dressed up and the program they put on was impressive. Dad used to serve on the LSS board and I enjoyed getting to know all the different ways LSS serves the greater community.

**Last night Rory and I had our baby class again and got to watch a few videos of babies being born. Ouchie.

Then we got our pillows and yoga mats out to lay on the ground with our spouse. But we were totally confused as to how we were supposed to lay. Last week we spooned, but this week we were supposed to be face to face. And Rory thought our feet should go towards the windows, but I wanted us pointing the other direction, but then we were too close to the other couple. And I couldn't bend over to adjust the mat, and Rory's hands were full of pillows ready to lay in place. And we just kept looking at each other and trying to solve this puzzle, as if it was a challenging thing to figure out.

But finally we made it, and when we did, we looked at each other and we started laughing. The room was dark, the soothing music was on, our teacher was walking us through deep inhales and exhales and Rory and I were struck with fits of laughter. I mean, hardcore, impossible to surpress giggles. It reminded me of getting the giggles in church when you know you aren't supposed to laugh which just perpetuates the problem. All sorts of snorts and squeeks, tears and erruption laughs came out of us. Other couples sort of laughed sympathetically at us, but it just took a long, long time to recover. The rest of the room was quiet and calm. Not us.

**Today I am heading to Camp Wapo with these two:

My dad and I are leading a retreat together and I'm really excited. I love getting to collaborate with him and I will be running my Passing on the Faith workshops. I've done these workshops a half dozen times now and love the conversations that come from grandma-and-grandpa-types as we talk about specific ways they can share their faith stories and belief in Jesus with their grandkids. It's always fruitful and inspired and I love getting to be a part of the conversation.

fall color

I saw this lone branch on a bush in our backyard today. The red leaves seem to be fully embracing fall. The other branches are still bright green and must have missed the memo.

Fall is like this though, with the weather each day trying to decide if we are closer to summer or closer to winter. This morning started out as a cold and dreary day. The sort of day that demands a sweatpants, a big quilt, hot chocolate, a rip roaring fire, a good book, candles and a cat on your lap. (Did I partake in any of those things? No. But I did make puppy chow which felt cozy and nurturing. I think anything with peanut butter and chocolate is nurturing.)

But now the sun is out, the weather feels warmer and these green leaves give me hope that we've still got some warm weather in us before winter hits.

for your weekend pleasure...

I was just directed to this blog, and found both the art and the writing so pleasing. The artwork is original and made me want to click on every link (which I did). There is some good reading on this site, all centered on "cultivating creative community for the common good." If you're laying low this weekend and have a few moments to look around, I'd highly recommend it.

breaking a femur

I loved all of the comments and feedback from my post on our first baby class and my realization that birthing this babe is going to hurt quite a bit.

I want to clarify that learning of the pain coming my way is not new news to me. I think we all know horror stories and have a healthy sense of what labor entails whether we've watched a baby be born or not. But something seriously changed for me when our teacher showed a picture of the mama's hips and spine and where they are in relation to the baby when the baby is being born. Suddenly that picture became very personal as I realized, "those will be my hips. and that will be my tailbone." I can't really explain this revelation and how hard it hit me, but somehow all the general talk about labor became very, very specific. Specific to me.

I heard once that the only thing more painful than childbirth is breaking a femur. Which is interesting that they know this...I feel for the woman who has both had children and broken her femur to be able to make the comparison.

But I've been thinking about this comparison lately. Because if this is true, our birthing teacher is basically sitting us in a circle and saying, "ladies, in seven weeks we are going to break your femur. and it will hurt. but there are some breathing techniques we recommend. and fellas, we recommend you play soothing music during the breaking of the femur, and be ready to assist your wife in any way possible to help her through the pain."

There is a knee-jerk reaction in my heart that says, "I don't want you to break my femur!" And I think I was having a similar knee-jerk reaction when I heard the same news about the labor process. Thankfully, the rewards of childbirth are, obviously, a child. And I do want this baby more than anything. I'm just saying, it sounds like it's going to really hurt. And I'm trying my best to deal with that fact.

In other news, my sister is due TOMORROW!!! Break a leg, Annika!

Or just have a baby. I hear it won't hurt as bad.