you were made for this

I texted a bit this weekend with my friend Shannon. I don't know if I have ever written out my favorite story with Shannon on this blog...but I was with her when her water broke quite dramatically before her second child was born. That story is in my top three stories of all time, which is saying something, because I have a lot of stories (other two: Story City and the Water Skiing Story). If I have time today I'll look to see if I have already written my Shannon Story, or maybe I'll just write it out again because it's as good as it gets.

Anyway, Shannon is a supporter of mothers, of birth, of making sure women feel empowered and strong during pregnancy and postpartum. She has a studio on California that offers all sorts of classes and workshops and seminars that basically surround the new mama with resources and support and friendship.

So it is not a real surprise that the words I think about most often while in the throws of labor are Shannon's words to me, spoken before I had Ivar. She had two kids already and knew all that was ahead of me. When I was concerned about the pain of labor she said to me, "Becca, you are a strong Scandinavian woman built for giving birth."

Those encouraging words always come to mind while gripping some hallway railing, trying to breath through intensifying contractions. At the moments when I wonder if I will really survive this pain, I begin to remember that I am a strong woman, built for giving birth.

So that's what is ahead! I have a doctor's appointment today and I have a feeling they are going to want to get things started. So prayers would be so appreciated. Especially for the moments when I'm white-knuckle gripping the hallway railing! This isn't my first rodeo, and I am fully aware of what comes next... But I'm also aware that after that part, I HAVE A BABY!!!!

And I do want to just say this: I LOVE being pregnant. And I am going to miss this feeling. I love carrying a life in my womb. I love that I get the honor of feeling baby move and sway and kick and dance inside of me. The miracle of it all is not lost on me for a moment.

In an odd twist, this pregnancy has been my very best. I have felt healthy and strong and able the whole time, right up to the end. Take that Geriatric Pregnancy Pamphlet that told me all the things to worry and fear! I felt better at age 38 than I did at 30! And I don't take that for granted either. I know every pregnancy is different for every woman, but what a joy to have this one to leave me feeling so good and grateful.

So I'm off. I got up at 4:30 this morning and got a few more things situated. You'll be happy to know the inside of my microwave looks brand new. I do believe that means it is time to go and have a baby.

the good fruit app

I have this app idea called Good Fruit. I think about this app nearly every week. It's just a hub on your phone where you can report what fruit is awesome at what store and location on that day.

For example, last week I got peaches at Aldi and they were the best ever. Perfect in every way. I would have logged on and reported "The peaches called "Hollywood" that I purchased on Saturday August 3rd were exceptional. I got them at the Aldi with this zip code." And then if someone was at Aldi later that week, they can get the peaches too and leave their own comment. Because the kicker is that this week I bought the same peaches and now they're mealy and not worth it. I would quickly log on, enter the fruit, brand, date and description and tell others to forgo to the peaches.

That all sounds way more complicated than this nifty little app would be. It would be simple and fast. And it would mean you would know if the green grapes are good and firm or soft and lame.

I'd love to see this one available. I'd drive to a special grocery store if I knew the cherries there were fantastic and affordable.

Anyways, these are the things I am thinking about these days. Still no baby as of Saturday night, still no real contractions. But my official due date isn't until tomorrow, so I can't actually complain yet. It's just that I feel so ready! So I think about app ideas.

Yesterday our One Fun Thing was to cook hotdogs over the fire. I'll tell you it was not that fun. It was rather stressful and full of bugs. But that's okay. My clean bathroom continued to bring me joy all day long.

Today our One Fun Thing was homemade cheese curds (Those are cheese strands hanging from the kids mouths above). I had a hankerin' for some fair food and decided to make it at home. For dinner we had cheese curds, sweet corn, fried green tomatoes and watermelon. It was all delicious.

I'd get on the Good Fruit App and report that the watermelon I bought at Aldi today was awesome and only $3.99.

project: one fun thing

Yesterday I began a new program called: One Fun Thing. Each day until baby comes we will do something out of the ordinary that will help all of us pass the time. Hattie woke me up early this morning (as always) and told me, "baby come out and put clothes on. baby is very chilly." She is quite concerned that the baby has no clothes on right now. She's ready to swaddle and snuggle. So am I!

Yesterday's fun thing was super fun. We took six scoopie tokens we got at our town's home and garden show and cashed them in for cups of delicious ice cream. It was so good. And so sugary. I am still doing whole 30, except for obvious moments like this...and that custard is so sweet! And delicious. We drove our ice cream to my favorite picnic table in town and had such a happy time. Followed by popcorn from the popcorn stand and all the kids putting their feet in the fountain. It was a perfect summer moment.

And here I am! This picture goes out to my Aunt Louie who said she needed a side profile shot. So thanks to Ivar for taking my picture. :) I had my very first contractions last night from 12-4, enough to wake me up, but not enough for me to get out of bed or anything. So things are moving in the right direction.

I woke up this morning and cleaned my upstairs bathroom for over an hour. This is hilarious/embarrassing, but I thought my bathtub was discolored from some product or something, but after some serious elbow grease while on all fours, I realized it was just that dirty. Ha! ...and Gross! I think I was trying to overdue it to see if I could get things moving along. But nothing happened other than I now have the cleanest bathroom ever.

Enjoy the weekend! I cannot imagine more perfect weather than these days we're enjoying right now!

the fence!

We're all still here! And baby is still cozy on the inside. But we got the fence in and we love it. We walked the perimeter of our property last night and it was such a beautiful night. I am so tight in the belly and I couldn't sleep last night until 2am. Things feel like they're beginning, though I still have not had a contraction...so who knows. This afternoon we are going out for ice cream cones. I insisted. :)

39 weeks, 3 days

Well here we go! My due date is this Sunday, August 11th. That said, Alden arrived 7 days after his due date, Hattie came 10 days after her due date, Elsie came promptly on her due date and Ivar made his appearance one day before his due date. My babies stay put for the long haul, it seems.

However, at my appointment a week and a half ago my doctor felt my belly and said, "oh my. that's the head. it is so low!" And then at my appointment a week later (this past Monday) she said, "it is so, so low." And it's true. I usually carry my babies so high right up to the end. But I actually look smaller with this pregnancy because I think everything is positioned so differently. And when I sit in a chair, it feels like I have a bowling ball snug on my lap. 

So we are right in the middle of the mind-game stage. The one that makes me think every little feeling or tightening or wave of nausea might be the start of the real deal. But then I remember it's not that likely, so then I hit a huge project to keep me occupied. But them I am exhausted and worry that now I'll go into labor tired and depleted...so then I sit and think that every physical feeling might be the start of labor... And on it goes. 

It's also that stage where the kids are extra clingy and have all sorts of emotions of their own as we all are waiting. Hattie helped me pack the kids' overnight bags for grandma and grandpa's and mimi and papa's. While packing she asked one thousand times, "we going today? no? when baby comes? oh. when will baby come? today? no? when will baby come?" 

And I suppose that's the exact script running through all of our heads this week.

But today we have the very last project on the list: the perimeter fence on our property is being installed! The guys dropped off their equipment last night! This is a project that demanded 27 other projects to get done before this day could arrive. You know those projects? Rory has spent the whole summer removing trees, stumps, wood piles, clearing brush, leveling land, taking down an old wooden fence, mowing down thistle, calling in friends for a chainsaw party to help make a way through thick woods... oh it has been so much work. But here we are! The guys come today and after today 3/4's of our property will have a permanent fence to keep our animals in and other animals out. It will help greatly with setting up temporary paddocks with our electric netting. It's like that game you used to play with your siblings with the grid of dots on the paper, and you each take turns drawing one line to complete a box. Having the perimeter done will help so much in the world of fencing. And really, much of successful farming is simply successful fencing. So we are thrilled.

I felt like things were starting up last night and Rory asked kindly, "oh please, let's just get the fence in first..." So real quick, we're going to get the fence in...  

drive thru window

On Saturday we went out to the little cabin Rory built originally as a home office and played drive thru. We had a good friend live in the cabin this summer for about 7 weeks. She goes to our church and lives with a woman from our congregation. But that woman had her daughter coming home for part of the summer and needed Lena's room back. So Lena moved in with us! The cabin has electricity, but no running water. She said it felt very Thoreau-esque.

Lena moved out last weekend, which left a cabin all set up with a bed, a desk, and basically it makes for the perfect playhouse now. Which delights the kids to no end. But, thanks to a screen that was popped out, we ended up playing drive thru with me making up silly orders and them gladly making my food and us handing money back and forth, all in our imaginations. It was so fun.

Elsie told me recently that she is going to take care of the baby all the time. She said, "just think, the littles will be in the rock box because they love it there. Ivar will play legos and you can just bake and clean and take a nap! Because I'll take care of the baby!"

And part of me believed her! Because I think she will genuinely be a huge help to me. She already is in so many ways, making bread in the bread machine all by herself, helping load and buckle when it's time to go somewhere, helping me get meals ready and on the table. I am so glad to have her help!

She somehow scraped her face really good on the picket fence in the kitchen garden. I still don't get how it happened, but it left a scratch right under her eye. While brushing her teeth and looking at herself in the mirror she told me, "I'm glad my scratch is still on my face. It shows that I am a tough cookie."

She is a sweet and delightful tough cookie.

Awesome and Wonderful

Rory will often take one of our girls out on a daddy-daughter date. Hattie got to go to Menards last week and brought home a box of Dots. But she was so thrilled at the special time she kept telling Rory in every aisle, "We dating, Daddy? We dating!" So this week Ivar called in a special mother-son date. He had the plan: Walmart to look at legos and dinner at A&W. When we got to A&W he was a bit panicked that a kids meal might not fill him up enough. He was really hungry, he told me. So I got the kids meal and he got the value meal which meant his float was twice the size of mine...and this positively delighted him. (The float was a whole 30 exception, and was totally worth it!)

We had the best time. We laughed so much. I kept making up fake monologues that cracked him up. When we arrived at Walmart I said, "Alden, you have to let Ivar help you unbuckle. Nope, I am not going to do it. Ivar is going to help you. Hattie and Alden, you cannot take off your shoes every time we are in the car. This is too much work for me to put them back on each time. Now find your buddy and hold hands. Alden. You have to hold Ivar's hand." And Ivar would laugh and laugh, "That's exactly how it is, mom! Exactly!"

We got home and he told everyone about every part. Even how "most people at A&W are really old." Which was accurate of last night. The 70+ crowd was represented well. But Ivar and I decided that the two of us will continue to bring that average age down, hopefully with a monthly visit.

When he went to bed he came over and hugged me and said what a great date we had. And it felt so good. Ivar is my oldest, and he puts up with a lot from his siblings as well as high expectations from me. He is a good kid who thrives on order and routine, and life can be stretching when you have little siblings who consistently disrupt order and routine. We work through those challenges a lot. So this night together, laughing and eating and enjoying each other was so, so Awesome and Wonderful. A&W.

Here's to many more root beer floats!

a hattie wake up call

Hattie wakes up at 6:20 each day like a set alarm. Only instead of beeping or playing music, she gently nuzzles her head to push open our door that is held closed by a pillow in front of it. She used to announce her arrival by saying, "Knocka Knocka!" But that has changed. Now I first I hear her in the hallway, playing with something or quietly talking. And then I see our door begin to slowly open, and the pillow pushed along the way. She is on all fours and her head comes slowly in to look around. She is so quiet and slow and sneaky at this point, getting her body in the door and then quietly moving the pillow back and closing the door to a crack.

I'm not sure why she is so quiet coming in, because moments later she pops up in my face like a coo coo clock and says full volume, "Mom! It thirty o'clock yet?!! It thirty o'clock?!!" And I tell her, "No. Hattie is not seven o'clock yet. You may not come in our bed yet. You can lay quietly on the floor until it is seven o'clock." And so she lays down with her head on the same pillow that holds our door closed and sings and talks and basically we know our day is now beginning. Rory usually gives up the fight first and when he gets out of bed, then Hattie crawls into his side. She looks at me intently, and it's hard not to be amused at the whole situation...her bright eyes, wide awake, ready for the day.

***

My other Hattie story lately is her response to our house when it gets too noisy. She will begin to yell as loud as she can, "INSIDE VOICES! MIA SAYS INSIDE VOICES!" Mia is her favorite friend and nursery worker at church and apparently this is where she learned this phrase. Though she doesn't seem to have learned how to apply it to her own volume yet...

But I still consider it a nice step in the right direction.

a little slice of time

I know I wrote about most of this already, but my sister and mom just returned from two weeks in Tanzania and my sister just replied to this email I sent to her last week. I re-read it and thought, "I have to save that somehow as a little slice of time..."

Hello Singing Ladies!

Oh I wonder where you are when you read this! Can you get emails on your phones? Or do you go to an internet cafe? I bet it is so different from 10 years ago...

I'm writing mostly to tell you I'm exhausted. Ha! Seriously, so tired. Rory cut the field yesterday and I got out all of the newborn stuff. I found the carseat and got out the outfits and baby toys. The kids played all day with the baby toys, and then at the end of the day I got rid of half of them. We had friends over for supper last night and fell into bed. And then today the interns came and I brought them to a farm in Faribault where we know the family, just to see another small-scale family farm in operation. The mom milked the goat for us and they have pigs and a donkey, ducks and chickens. They are very similar to us and it was a joy to see how their family operates their own farm. Then we came home and butchered 17 chickens in the back yard.

You would be proud...I cut heads off. I gutted the birds. I held them by the feet and dunked them in the water. I defeathered. It was seriously an experience, and in the end, not too bad. But I had to leave before the last bird was done and go to my Spinning lesson with Eleanor at Northfield Yarn. The lesson was 2 hours and I WAS TERRIBLE AT IT. Cannot emphasis that enough. I positively could not get it! It was hilarious. We had a great time together and the lesson was a joy, and a humbling. So crazy how something can looks so very simple and then be so super foreign.

I came home and found Tony and Alden picking blueberries, Lena and Elsie picking raspberries and I threw a pizza in the oven, cleaned my sty kitchen and we ate our pizza while watching Little House on the Prairie. Anyway, it was a good day and I'm heading to bed after this. But farm life is FULL right now and we still have many showing up this week to pick up their chickens, the rest of the kittens, friends for dinner and baling the field.

But! If everything goes well, Rory and I are taking off on Friday morning for an overnight babymoon. Lena is going to watch the kids here and I think we'll head to Lake City or someplace over there and nap for two days.

I hope you guys are well. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Love,

Becca

hurry up and rest!

Sunday morning I had a heart to heart with Elsie. I asked her if she would like to come to see the baby born when it is time at the hospital. I told her that it is a very special invitation and not many get to see a birth, but she would be the very first to know if it is a brother or a sister and that Dad and I would love to have her there if she wanted to be.

She was quiet for a moment and then asked, "will the baby be slimey?"

I replied honestly, "Yes."

And she replied quickly, "Then, no."

***

I was upstairs and flushed the toilet with the door open. Alden came running from the nursery, "I say goodbye! I say goodbye!" He got to the toilet just in time to wave and tell everything, "good bye!"

***

Tuesday we butchered 17 chickens in our backyard. This was a brand new life experience and I have many thoughts on the whole process. I actually really appreciated the whole thing. I thought it was probably right that I learn how to de-feather a chicken. I have ancestors who would likely be a bit puzzled that I made it to age 38 before knowing how the whole thing works. But maybe the best part for me was watching Hattie walk all around the yard, watching the entire process from start to finish and telling me, "oh. we eat them? okay." and with so little concern or upset. It was a wonder to me. This process is going to be completely normal to her.

***

This week we baled the field from start to finish again. This is our second successful round of cutting, raking and baling and it feels so good. We got over 100 small bales from our field and we are thrilled. The forecast had rain coming our way, so we worked with a mission today and feel so good having the baler and the bales all tucked in and cozy in the barn.

***

And now it is time to rest! We have 2 1/2 weeks until baby is due. I am hopeful the baby stays put the full 40 weeks, because we haven't rested yet! I keep thinking, "Hurry up and Rest!" So that's the goal. I got a few Wendell Berry books from the library tonight and plan on reading and sitting a lot in the next two weeks. On Monday I got the baby car seat out of the attic, along with the baby toys and baby outfits. We are ready in all the practical ways. But it sure would be nice to sit still for a minute before the next chapter begins.

Only time will tell...

tiffany's funeral

I think one of the greatest earthly gifts we are given as Christians is the hope we have in eternal life as we celebrate at another Jesus-follower's funeral. I can think of many funerals that served not just as a time to grieve a great loss, but also as a motivating encouragement, a time to remember my own calling, my own mortality, and the whole point of why we are running this short race.

Tiffany's funeral was exceptional. There were 1700 people there and the service lasted 2 full hours. Her parents both spoke, as well as her two sisters, her brother-in-laws, her children and her husband. And every single one of them deserved the microphone. They each added something powerful to the life story of Tiffany and though there were so many tears, there was way more hope in the resurrection. I left feeling filled up and grateful.

I know you would likely never watch a stranger's funeral, but if there ever was one to put on and play in the background, I think you'd be drawn in. Every person has something worth listening to. Her husband speaks at about minute 55, and the words he speaks to his kids are so powerful. And the pastor who closed the service was really powerful too. And the music is great. If you're interested at all, you can watch the service here.

And they showed this video in the service too. How incredible.
2018 Thrive Conference - Story Video: Tiffany from MDC.AG on Vimeo.

this is a hard teaching. who can accept it?

On Sunday night our family read part of John chapter 6. Jesus is telling his followers that he is the living bread that came down from heaven. "If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world." He continues to tell of eating his body and drinking his blood, explaining communion for the first time. When he is done many of his disciples say, "This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?"

Jesus hears the grumbling and calls them out, "does this offend you?" And in that moment, many of his followers turned away. He turned to the twelve and asked if any of them wanted to leave too.

And Simon Peter answers, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

***

About the time that we were reading this passage, our friend Tiffany was taking her last earthly breath.

Her death feels like such a mighty blow. She is my age, mother of five, partner in everything with her husband and spent her last eight years planting a church, building community and leading many wandering hearts to the Lord.

But her life was not spared.

This is a hard, hard teaching. Who can accept it?

The reading from John 6 has been such a comfort to me these past few days. Because I appreciate Simon Peter's response so much. In the midst of confusion and not understanding, trying to make sense of something that utterly did not make any sense he says the most honest words, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

I've seen too much. I know too much. I've heard too much. I've experienced too much. I believe in Jesus with my whole heart and have seen his power transform hearts and lives. To whom shall I go? I know the one who is the way to eternal life.

My heart is so heavy and grieved. Those kids. Her husband. She wanted to be raising her kids today. She wanted to be cleaning up breakfast right now. I have been convicted many time this past week not to take a moment for granted. Tiffany herself used to say frequently from up front, "If you have breath in your lungs and a pulse on your wrist, you have been given a gift today." And then she'd go on to tell of The One who gave that good gift.

The other thought I continue to have is that Tiffany, herself, would at this moment testify that Jesus is more real to her right now than ever before. She would nod and say, "Amen" to those words, "Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

And now with full trust in God to be the comforter, we pray for Jeff, her husband, Bo, Finn, Sally, Noah and Jack. Ages 4-14. What a grievous loss. 

praises and prayers

Well hello again! I don't usually take a full month off of blogging, but what a month it has been! Farm Camp sort of took over our lives there for the month of June and it was worth every minute poured in. I can't wait to write at length about how that week went and how it has shaped our vision for the future. We are really excited about all that is to come based on all we experienced those five days.

Then we were off to Lake Geneva Christian Center for a few nights of family camp with the Groves family. It was a joy to be together and to play, rest and have all meals prepared each day. It was a well-timed, wonderful get away. And now we are one month out from the arrival of our fifth child. We have a work project list that is as long as ever, but I told Rory I really want these weeks to be shaped by the words Rest and Play. As always he has lots of work stuff happening, but I really want the priority to be to Rest and Play. So we've been adding family day trips and surprises into our calendar, as well as working hard to be sure not to fill up our calendar! Yesterday we read books out in the yard for a while and that felt perfect.

But we do have quite a few things coming up! This week we have the county fair, where Ivar will be showing his rabbit Hershey for his very first time as a 4H Cloverbud. It's all very exciting and there is a lot to learn about the ins and outs of 4H! Rory will be working in the malt stand, representing our family well. The rest of us are either too young, or too pregnant... On Friday, Elsie turns 7. She is thrilled by this fact, and I am trying to make sure I know her expectations and then either meet them, or let her know what she can expect. She's not hard to please though. Uncle Kyle is taking her out for dinner on Tuesday and had me ask her where she would want to go. She barely breathed before she screamed, "The Subway by Menards!!!" And danced and squealed how she loves Subway and can't wait for Tuesday to come.

Our family went to Lake City on Thursday after Alden woke up from his nap. All told, I think we were there from 2:30-6:30. But it felt like we were on an actual vacation. We got our ice cream cones, played at the park, walked out on the pier and drove to check out Frontinac State Park. It was a glorious day and ended with a bald eagle flying to the tree right above us to each his fish supper while we at our whopper juniors. 

When we were just loading up we got an email and a text that friends were gathering to pray for our friend Tiffany outside of her house. Tiffany beat breast cancer two years ago and just this week we found out her latest body scan showed that her body is riddled with cancer. She had just learned this news seven weeks ago, herself. We are the same age, she has five young kids and pastors with her husband at a church in town that Rory and I attended for three years. I used to teach women's Bible study with her for years and I love this lady to pieces. She is the real deal, fully alive and fully committed to the people of our town, ready to be sure that all know Jesus and the new life he has waiting for each one of them. 

So we drove our family from Lake City right to Jeff and Tiffany's house where we found hundreds of people standing in the street, singing and praying. For the next two hours we prayed for a miraculous healing of Tiffany's body. Her husband made clear that he wasn't asking for plan b prayers. He wanted bold prayers pounding at heaven for a full healing and miraculous recovery.

So I have been praying with belief and faith, reading through miracles in the Bible, where nothing made sense in the natural. I refuse to feel sorrow or grief. Those are not called for at this time. Right now I want to be sure I am standing on the side of healing power and hope in all things.

But with all of this comes so many emotions. And in an incredible twist, just as I was beginning to feel fear creep in, someone posted this sermon (below) that Tiffany preached on Mother's Day. Just two months ago. 

If you deal with fear or anxiety or unanswered questions or hopelessness or chronic pain or illness, I really encourage you to listen. It starts out light-hearted, but please listen to the very end. Clearly God inspired this sermon and where she concludes is remarkable and comforting. Even in the midst of this new story.

And please pray for Tiffany. For a full healing of her body, for a miraculous recovery and for God to be glorified. I know what I am asking, but I am not standing in a place of trepidation. I am standing in a place of belief and promises. And pray for wisdom for her husband Jeff as he navigates this road with five young children, ages 4-12. 

I am laying hold of a vision of Tiffany healed, and what that would mean to all around her. I can think of no louder mouth piece to proclaim the goodness of God. She would blast her testimony to the moon and back. She already has, though I am holding on to belief that her story is just getting started. 

So enjoy this sermon. It is worth your hour. 

it's all getting done!

These pictures are about a month old now, but they basically sum up what we have been doing in the for a month straight. Last night Rory told me that he thinks we are now ahead of where we were when the tornado came through. Our yard has been decluttered, the barn and stalls are getting back in shape and our garden is looking fantastic. We have had a few burn piles and just a few moments ago Rory took the big kids with a truck and trailer to the dump. For a girl who LOVES getting rid of stuff, a trip to the dump makes for one fantastic day. I was up early this morning, finding more things in the barn to throw into the trailer before they left.

I have been posting on instagram again. You know how I go in waves! I took an 18 month break from that form of social media, but I want to be able to post quick pictures from my phone, and that is the swiftest way to do the job. And I wanted to post pics there from Farm Camp (coming up in just another week!)

So click on over to instagram @thegrovestead for more updates. I have a feeling I will be quiet here on the blog for a while until Farm Camp is past. :) Until then, soak up this summer fast! It is flying by already!!!

springtime work days

The last two days have been glorious here, which means everything that we have been waiting for nice weather, is now at the top of the to do list. Which...is everything on a farm. I am going to write out the following because I think it's remarkable and needs to be documented. But I also want you to know that these long days are not the norm all year long. But in the springtime, when a nice day rolls around, they are actually pretty typical.

So yesterday I woke up with a shot. I was seriously excited for the day because I knew how much we wanted to get done, and the sun was out and I felt happy to finally be working. I started the day by clearing off the kitchen counter and then we all headed to the garden to plant the starts we had begun in March under grow lights. We planted 17 tomatoes, 5 kale, 5 broccoli, 5 egg plant and 5 jalapenos.

(Yesterday was the last day I'll wear my overalls before baby. I couldn't button a thing!) At 11:30 I took Ivar, Elsie and Hattie to Ivar's Art Show where he stood up front and told about his favorite art piece he created and what he liked about it. Rory stayed home with Alden napping and to be here when the guys from Lampert's arrived with all of the sheet rock for the upstairs of the barn. Four guys (Rory included) loaded it off the truck and to the top of the barn and it looked terribly hot and exhausting. I brought them water when we got home.

Then Rory began moving woodchips around with the kubota, bringing piles up to the house, dropping piles by all of the berries and in the walk ways. Meanwhile I listened to Alden scream, "Daddy! Bota! Tractor! Daddy! Bota!" And then I pruned the raspberries. Next Rory and I spread out the wood chips with rakes and then lay down black plastic sheeting on half of the garden, after weeding it...which was a huge job. I made a fast dinner of rice and chili beans (a family favorite and the easiest ever..) and our good friends came by on their ATV. Rory began building a new chicken tractor, as our old one was leveled by an oak tree during the storm last fall. He came in the house to eat rice and beans for maybe 8 minutes. The man just needed calories and to get back at it.

He continued to build the chicken tractor (it is time to get the 60 chicks in our garage out of our garage. They are ready to free range!) while I weeded the kitchen garden. This was another huge job (every inch was covered in weeds!) but I kept thinking I should just push through because soon we will have bugs, and it's just so much better to weed without mosquitoes. So I did.

Rory came in for family worship and we sang and read and prayed and then he went to get non-oxygenated gas for the John Deere and then to Menards to get more black plastic for the garden. All four kids got baths/showers and I got everyone to bed just in time for Rory to text, "Are you ready?!!"

Because even though it was 8:25, we still had to put the fence up around our garden! He zoomed up the drive and picked me up for a ride to the barn. At this point he handed me a box of dots, my favorite candy. That was a good move. We pounded in t-posts as the sun began to set, lay down another length of black plastic and then, in the light of the truck headlights, we attached reused chicken wire to each t-post. It was terribly tedious in the dark. And because it had been used before every length was off and made for a lot of guess work. And it took a long time. And I ate the whole box of dots.

But then at 10:26 we were done. I came back in the house and decided to blog. I don't really get that part either. But I think I had wanted to do that all day, so I was just going to make it work. And then I took a shower, read a book and went to bed at midnight, only to be awakened many times by a screaming Elsie who kept waking up with leg cramps. But eventually we all slept. And you know what? I woke up this morning ready to hit it again! I have no idea why. Or how. But today we went right back at it.

I have another laundry list from today, but I'll spare you. Mostly I just wanted this recorded, because one day Rory and I will read this and I'll say, "Good Grief! We did all that and I was 29 weeks pregnant!" And then we'll shake our heads and wonder how we did it...

And future self, I don't really know what to tell you. Except that many, many times a day I say aloud, "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength." And I believe it with my whole heart.

five kids

So I am very, very aware that in ten weeks we will add another life to this home. This fact has me overjoyed and occasionally, a bit concerned. Like the addition of every kid before this one, I just can't quite imagine how it's going to look or feel.

I have been tackling this feeling in a number of ways:

First, in January I became a devout fan of Minimal Mom on Youtube. She's got all sorts of inspiring videos encouraging people to see how much time and energy our possessions really demand. She considers everything we own as basically inventory we have to keep track of, and the less we have, the less stress and the less mess. I have always been organized and I have always given quite a bit away, but this message has taken me to a whole new level and nothing is safe. In an effort to make room for another living soul, I am donating box after box after bag after bag. It feels fantastic.

Second, we have been preparing for this baby by setting up systems and schedules all over our life. We have an hourly schedule for each day of the week that considers both of us and what we need to accomplish. Rory made a two week menu rotation that includes breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's incredible. I don't like everything on the rotation, but I do love that there is ALWAYS A PLAN. And this seems wise for the season that is to come.

Part of the weekly schedule is on Sunday nights, a personal favorite time called Power Hour. From 6-7pm, we deep clean the house. I hit the bathrooms and laundry room. Rory vacuums the whole house. Elsie sweeps and mops the kitchen and entry tile. Ivar washes down or dusts all of the surfaces in the house (tables, counters, bookshelves, kitchen chairs...) At the very beginning of Power Hour we all pick the house up quickly (like clearing counters, picking up the floors, and putting furniture up so it's easier to vacuum.) I will say that no one looks forward to Power Hour, but we all love how our house feels when kicking off a new week. It looks like house cleaners have come...and they have. But it was us!

And finally, yesterday I took the kids to run four errands. But before we left I explained now that we are out of winter coats, I would like Ivar to buckle and unbuckle Alden and Elsie to buckle and unbuckle Hattie. And when we get to a destination, brothers must hold hands and sisters must hold hands all the way into the store, and then again out of the store. We had four stops to practice and the only one who put up a fuss was Alden who was quickly told this was not an option and he had to practice again. Once he realized I was serious about this new plan, he followed suit with his siblings. Oh, this was such a big deal for me! As we walked into Dollar Tree, my four were ahead of me, two by two, and I suddenly could fathom having a baby carrier on my arm and believing that it will all be okay.

Because it will be!

As I am typing this, I have a baby inside of me who is moving a leg or an elbow back and forth across my belly. My striped shirt is bumping out in mighty ways all over the place. There is a life in there who is going to add their own personality on our family whole. What a wonderful thought! So we will be fine. These systems and plans will all help. Though there will surely be hairy moments. But we've got hairy moments now! And what I know for sure is that love always multiplies when a new life enters the family. We already love and adore this active babe inside of me. And this baby is going to be very, very well loved by our whole family.

farmer boy

I was sitting in the yellow chair looking out over the garden when I saw this scene: Ivar was driving the kubota for his first time. Rory and I had never discussed this, so I was totally shocked, but two things made my swallow my concerns and instead grab the camera: 1) Ivar's enormous smile and how he waved at me in the window for the whole length of the garden and 2) the fact that he had no shirt on.

So great.

Rory walked beside him the whole time and taught him how to raise and lower the bucket. Then they moved some dirt around and Ivar grew right before my eyes.

At this point, if you are ever at our farm, you will most definitely get a live demonstration from Ivar. Which means he already has four grandparents and a great aunt and uncle praying for him with serious concern. But if you live around here, you'll hear every farmer tell you that they were "driving the baler at 5." So really, age 8 is actually getting up there. ;)

the gift of a picture with my kids on mother's day

Like most mom's, my wish for Mother's Day was for a picture with my kids. And man, did I get some! Every one makes me laugh for another reason. I am about to show you just a handful. I had about 40 to choose from. And these are for sure the winners. This top one may be my personal fave.

Alden was a riot during these pictures because between each one he would smile at me. But the second he was onto another picture being taken he'd slack his jaw. I cannot complain. I have had very, very photogenic children my entire motherhood. But this one, even with bribes, wasn't going for it.

And then our neighbor came over and got some family shots. Like 15. And here are the best two...

Elsie's dream is for the three Jelly Girls to have matching outfits. It's my dream too. I just never seem to get around to sewing the skirts or dresses. So she was thrilled when she figured out that we both had grey leggings and blue dresses with tiny holes in them. And she insisted on wearing her hair down like mine. I love her so much.

Obviously the sun was a serious problem, so we brought the camera to church and had the door greeter take this shot. Another favorite. Ivar asked recently to get a haircut with a style. He wanted to start using hair gel like his dad. What a stud!

All of these pictures feel like very honest snapshots of motherhood. Not one is perfect. Which feels so true to life. And totally true to motherhood.

Easter 2019

Easter sure is darling. My mom had a great hunt at her house again this year, with each grandkid assigned a different color egg. Alden was the color green, and even though his eggs were basically dumped on the middle of the lawn, it sure did take him a while to find them all!

 Elsie, on the other hand, was full of game, even in her high heels.

We celebrated with Annika and Jedd's family, Uncle Don and my folks. But since I never got a picture of my dad or Uncle Don, you'll just have to take my word that they were there! Sonna made a heavenly (from scratch!) carrot cake. It was so good. And Uncle Don made two banana cream pies, just like Aunt Jan used to make. Oh my. I'm still thinking about these desserts.

 Alden was wearing overalls that were Uncle Jedd's overalls when he was a toddler.

 Uncle Jedd and Alden are both still trying to figure out how that is possible!

I woke on Easter morning at 6 am from a dream that my sister had walked into my house and said, "My girls are all set, so I thought I'd come and help you find outfits for your kids, help hide the easter baskets and get the salad prepped." I woke up and was so amused that even in my dreams I was thinking through all that I needed to get done before church...and that my smart dream-self called for my sister to come and help get the show on the road! It tells so much about a woman's brain and how much she is thinking through at any given time! Even in her sleep!

We ate our traditional Easter Meal: ham and hot fruit, potato casserole, green salad, fruit salad,and new-this-year: grilled asparagus, had the egg hunt and then everyone sat on the deck for hours. It was so fantastic.

And while we sat on the deck, the cousins went wild in the basement. I found this picture on my camera as a surprise gift from my niece Sonna. Doesn't this picture just sum up cousins-in-the-basement time?!! It makes me laugh so hard. I remember these same wild and crazy times in my grandma's basement...

And some boys headed into the house for an Easter Nap.

A new favorite right here. And it kind of makes up for the fact that we never got a family picture. But clearly it was a very nice Easter!

Elsie's Mud Kitchen

If you drove by our farm these days you would see this tree that still needs to be chainsawed after the storm. It might look a little unsightly to you. You might wonder when the Groves are going to get rid of that eye sore and move it all to the wood shed. And now, with pots and buckets balanced on every flat surface you might think the Groves have gotten really dumpy. 

Or, you might think, "Well now, that looks like one fantastic Mud Kitchen!"

Ivar and Elsie came home from a birthday party on Saturday where the last few minutes were spent playing in their friends' mud kitchen. Elsie was delighted by their elaborate set up...some stumps were stovetops, others were were for cooling. Hooks on the stumps held certain utensils and each pot held a different ingredient: dirt, moss, tulip leaves (yup).

And even though yesterday was raining cats and dogs, Elsie and Hattie worked hard to set up their Mud Kitchen. And then, in an ironic twist, they walked their Muddy selves right into my kitchen while trying to fill their watering can. Thankfully I never saw that mess. Rory found it and helped them make it right.  

And today Elsie has been out all day long, mixing up recipes, jogging in the house announcing she needs another spoon. It's really great fun. And probably means this uprooted tree will get to stay put for a little while longer.