super love

We've read Super Love countless times this week, a sweet story about a little girl who plans a wedding for her cat and her stuffed puppy. Unfortunately, the cat doesn't seem to want to cooperate. She sets up her stuffed animals to watch, decorates the aisle and is all set to be the flower girl, but her cat still doesn't want to participate. In the end, her dad comes home from work and her mom and dad get married again. It's adorable and Elsie apparently has been taking notes.

She woke up Friday and wanted to dress for her wedding. We spent a lot of time trying to figure out what she could use as a veil. I cut up a white kitchen garbage bag but she didn't like that. I suggested a white skirt, but she didn't like that either. Finally I suggested this fitted sheet, and that made the bride-to-be happy.

I got out my wedding album so she could see me as a bride and she poured over each picture.

Then we made an aisle and got the church all set for a wedding. Ivar said excitedly, "the wood box can be the dresser! Mom, why is there a dresser in the front of every church?" A sweet time to tell him about the altar table. Then he went upstairs and got all of his mini Bibles so we would each have a book in our hands for singing. Elsie insisted that "weddings are at night like Maddie" so we just had a rehearsal, waiting for the sun to go down for the real thing. It was also decided that Ivar would be the cotton ball boy, a new spin on the flower girl.

After supper we had the actual wedding, and the groom was very good to put a sport coat over his pajamas. It was family movie night, so we got out the video from our wedding to show the kids. Elsie was mesmerized. Mostly the kids were fascinated watching video of their cousins and aunts and uncles walking down the aisle from ten years ago. 

It was a sweet day of wedding fun. At one point, as Elsie trotted across the room in her cinderella high heels, I said to Rory, "don't blink. the real deal is just around the corner." And we both got teary. 

life with three

Just taking a minute here to write out my thoughts on how life has changed with the addition of our third, sweet baby. I've been thinking about it quite a bit, actually,

My first thought is that this has been a pretty smooth transition compared to the last baby. I had a hunch that it would be. The change from one to two kids was rough on me, partly because it was a big adjustment, but also because we had just moved, our marriage was in need of some tlc, I was still trying to find local friends, I had a dear friendship that was greatly strained, I didn't have a routine to my days and the hormones I was dealt were bad news. It made for a rocky ride.

In contrast to Elsie's arrival, the addition of Harriet has been much smoother partly because I didn't move nine days after she was born, our marriage grew even stronger with her birth, I have local friends to call and local places to frequent, that strained friendship has been restored, and this time around I have been given the happy hormone cocktail. You don't get to choose that last factor. It's why some are slammed with postpartum depression and others are not, and can vary with each baby.

But a few things have had to change this time around. When I had the flu last weekend I got to thinking. I was so sick and had just spent the week dealing with Ivar's pink eye. And then Elsie and Harriet got colds too. Part of this is totally normal for a family with little kids in the wintertime. But I also knew that much of the reason for our sickness was our pace of life. It was clear that I couldn't maintain the same commitments I had been trying to keep since Harriet was born. It was taking a toll on all of our well-being and also affecting my milk supply. So I spent an afternoon declining, saying no, and backing out of wonderful invitations and it felt right. We all know that saying no to something is actually saying yes to something else. I was saying yes to our health and happiness.

So the pace of life has had to change with three. And that's fine for this season.

The other thing that I have noticed with three is how hairy and how awesome siblings can be. There are days when I feel stretched thin. But there are many more days when I feel the fullness of moments like the one pictured above and marvel at the fact that the baby was fussing and that Ivar figured out how to calm her. I'm starting to really believe the more the merrier.

So all in all, it's been a nice three months. Perhaps the greatest improvement is the gratitude and contentment I feel as a stay at home mom. I fought this for too long, wondering if I should be doing more, contributing to the world in a larger way. But I don't wrestle with that anymore. I have been given peace that has led to a deep joy and a true sense of purpose. My contribution to the world is huge and worthwhile and currently playing/napping upstairs. Thanks be to God!

That's my update. Three months in with three kids and life feels wonderful and full. The pace has had to slow down and I have had to say no to great things in order to say yes to the best things. I couldn't be more grateful.

puzzle update

Rory came down yesterday and told me he was all out of clean clothes. And I looked at him and said, "well clearly I've been a little busy..." and motioned towards the puzzle table.

I have never ever been a puzzle person. I've never had the patience. But this one is changing all that. Ivar is still super helpful. Most of the time when I find a piece that is a fit I just hand it to him and he can figure out where it goes. He looks on the box and then finds that part of the puzzle. It's been really fun for us to work together and fun to talk about all the states in our country and who we know who lives there.

And for added challenge, we often have trains and kitties crowding us on the table. It's hard to see all the pieces when there are stuffed animals set on top of them, but it makes it all the more rewarding when I do find that missing piece, somewhere in the carpet below.

It's quiet playtime now, which means I can work on the puzzle a bit by myself. Got to go!

hygge and the 5 senses

Do remember the post I wrote last winter about Hygge? I just read it again and it's really good stuff. I love this concept so much and have been thinking about it a lot this winter. Mostly in trying to be proactive in keeping my happy attitude strong during these cold months.

So far, I'm really enjoying this winter. Probably because it's only been really cold for about two weeks. Also because it hasn't been icy. The last two winters were icy which meant walks outside just weren't worth it. Remember how angry I was when I fell flat in the Walgreens parking lot? I was so mad! But this winter lends itself to safe trips from the car right in to Target.

The other thing is that I am taking notice of my five senses and making sure they're all satisfied. I basically channel my inner second-grader and try to make sure every sense is covered.

Sound: I like to have pandora playing. And usually on some sort of calming station like piano or orchestra, my Pride and Prejudice soundtrack station, Bethel music station or low-key folk. Music makes everything better.
Smell: I try to have a candle burning at all times. I got a big evergreen candle at Menards at the end of the season and I love that one,even thought it's no longer Christmas. I know many who love their essential oil diffusers for this purpose too.
Taste: Hot Tea. All the time. Or a hot coffee. But this is key. To always have a mug of something warm nearby. I am constantly putting my drink back in the microwave for a quick reheat, but having something warm to drink really helps. And I'm also on a muffin kick lately. Muffins are easy, smell good and make for a quick breakfast for the kids. I may start to look like a muffin, but at least I'm happy. Muffins for the win!
Touch: This has more to do with what I'm wearing. I keep it cozy. I'm a stay-at-home mom, afterall. And I just told you I'm eating a lot of muffins...
See: This one is important for me. I need light. So I want my house to have the sunshine pouring in, if it's shining. The fire will do too. And I took instagram off of my phone and logged off of facebook for a while..because seeing what other people are up to never seems to lead to contentment. So more sunshine, less screen time. Less screen time opens up more time reading and doing puzzles, as well.

These things are helping me really love and enjoy this winter. And I am grateful. But we all know the real test is come the end of February and into March and April when the winter starts to drag on. So I'm arming myself with these practical Hygge strategies and have high hopes I'll make it through with a positive attitude.

1000 pieces with a 3 and 5 year old

It's still sub-zero here in Minnesota and our family is basically living within ten feet of the cozy hot fire at all times. So I decided it was time to whip out a puzzle. My sister-in-law Sara raved about this puzzle at Christmas. She called it "a joy" and said it was so fun because even though it is 1,000 pieces, it is easy to find where a piece goes. Now that's my kind of puzzle. So yesterday I bought it for $11 at Target and brought it home to Ivar and Elsie.

Surprisingly, it is going really, really well. Ivar is proving to be quite the faithful, patient, puzzler. Elsie mostly likes to eat pretzel sticks and watch us. But their attitude is great. And we've only knocked a cookie sheet off the card table two times. (Rory and I are taking bets as to how many pieces will be missing once the puzzle is complete.)

Anyway, I recommend this puzzle too. Ivar is able to find where pieces go, and the design lends itself to easy sorting.  It's like four or five mini puzzles inside of a bigger one. We're loving it and I think you would too.

snow day on the island of sodor

My friend Faye posted a picture of her son pushing cotton balls around with his little bulldozer and loading them into the dump truck for snow removal. So awesome. So yesterday Ivar and I bought a bag of jumbo cotton balls for a buck and suddenly the train table became the favorite activity again. Lots of snowy storylines came to life, and lots of need for Byron the bulldozer to clear the rails to keep Sodor safe and the trains running on time.

Parenting Little Kids is like a trip to Panera

So we've been home a lot these past two weeks. Everyone has taken a turn getting sick and even though it's miserable to be sick, it's also shed some light on what is actually possible in my life with a 5 year old, 3 year old and 3 month old.

And I've come to realize something. At this season of time: YOU PICK TWO. Just like Panera gives you two items in an entree, any given day gives you two tasks to accomplish.

Each day it seems, between feeding the baby every three hours, feeding the family three times, and leaving room for all the surprises that are sure to surface, there is margin for just two more tasks:
YOU PICK TWO:
-Fun Mom: This option includes a mom that makes play dough, helps build lego helicopters, puts her snow pants on, makes hopscotch out of masking tape on the carpet and bakes muffins with her children.
-Scratch Cook: Come dinnertime, this option ensures that there will be more than frozen pizza or fish sticks on the table. If not chosen, those items are completely acceptable.
-Play date Pal: A play date is good for everyone. But you can't do anything house-related when you're at another friend's house.
-Housekeeping: This option ensures the house looks generally tidy at the end of the day. Maybe even vacuumed...
-Laundry Lady: Washed, dried, put in the general right place (may still live in laundry baskets...) your husband will be glad he has clean socks and underwear again.
-Shower for the Mama: In the case that a mom is not actually able to rise before her children, this shower has to happen at another point during the day, and a shower takes time.
-Grocery Getter/Target Trip: This option has to happen at some point during the week. If it is not factored in there likely will be waffles for dinner with a side of fruit cocktail and canned corn.

So there it is. In this season of life, I can accomplish two of those tasks in any given day. And then it's up to me to assess my day accordingly. If I went grocery shopping and made a good meal in a day, then the fact that the house has gone to pot and the laundry is still strewn all around the house is okay. Maybe tomorrow will be their day.

I recently started reading Jen Hatmaker's For the Love on the recommendation of every living soul on planet earth. I'm not super far into it, but if I could xerox chapter one and hand it out on the street corner, I would. Next time you're in Target, take it off the shelf, stand by your cart and read that first chapter. And then you'll likely place the book in your cart to purchase making this perfectly legal. But man that first chapter is something special. All about how ridiculous our expectations are for being a woman and running a household with ridiculously high standards.

It got me thinking along these lines and then I decided my own measure would be the Panera Plan. I will evaluate myself on the two tasks I picked for the day and give myself all the grace in the world for the other tasks that were not picked and therefore exposing the reality that I cannot do it all. But I can pick two.

little becca

Rory is starting to call Harriet, "Little Becca" because she seems to have a few of my personality traits. 

Last night we had her laying under her play gym happily and the rest of us went into the kitchen to eat. Soon she was crying in the living room and Rory went to put her in her bouncy chair and bring her in the kitchen. When she arrived she lit up and started chatting and we imagined her to be saying, "oh hey. I think you forgot about me. I was just in the living room, but then you were all together and I wasn't here but now I am. with you guys. where I think you probably meant for me to be." I've got some serious FOMO (fear of missing out) and it seems Harriet does too.

She's quite sensitive. If I don't go to her right away (usually during tummy time) when she is crying she will let me know her feelings have been very hurt when I finally do. She can stick her lower lip out (something I did until I was like seventeen...) and dig her face into my shoulder and just wants me to know she's a little sad and tender that I wasn't coming when she called for me.

And finally, she's chatty. All day long she narrates her day. We hear her jib jab and sing out and coo and it seems she already is hitting her 20,000 words a day as a female. And that's no surprise. I definitely hit mine every day. And Elsie for sure uses hers.

sistertalk

Elsie loves Harriet with her whole heart. And it is so fun to watch. She loves to hold her sister. And when Elsie comes down in the morning she jogs to Harriet first and sings a falsetto song that says something along the lines of "hi baby harriet. are you awake baby? I love you." combined with lots of nonsense words...) I took this video after the kids had just been sledding and had their hot chocolate. (Deep thought: why oh why do we give our children hot chocolate after they have been outside to run off all the sugar?!! I ponder this every single time I end up with sugared preschoolers on my hands...) Anyway, you can see that hot chocolate all over Elsie's face, and she's sporting some awesome hat hair.
sistertalk
I captured this moment and I love it. They are connected already. And will be forever. That warms my heart so much. There's nothing like a sister.

I got a great line from Elsie last night. Elsie was trying to cross my legs and then ride on my foot like a pony. If I'm in the right chair at the right height I can do this, but I was holding the baby, on Elsie's bed and I collapsed my foot sliding her to the ground. I said, "Elsie, I'm just not strong enough. We can't do that game right now." And she furrowed her brow and said, "but you have a lot of hair!"

She was referencing Samson and Delilah and I was proud.

sick days and hoar frost

Well, we're beginning the year with a whole lot of sickness. On Monday I took Ivar in for bacterial pink eye which meant we were quarantined to our house for the week. It also meant that four times a day I have the great joy of putting burning eye drops in my 5-year-old's eyes while he screams, "I'm on fire! My eyes are on fire!" And then on Thursday in the middle of the night I started to get achy, sweaty, sore, and could not stop shivering. For about 24 hours there I had eight blankets stacked on top of me and still was shaking.

Today I have absolutely no energy and a splitting headache, but at least I can sit up in bed. That's serious progress there. I always marvel at how we take our health for granted. It seems to take a sick day to remind me of what an absolute gift our health is, each and every day.

Getting the flu wasn't actually the plan for this weekend. I was supposed to get my hair cut and colored with my sister on Friday afternoon. And then Rory and I were going to head to his parent's house with the kids for an overnight, allowing us to go to dinner and a movie and out for breakfast and shopping in the morning. But that wasn't in the cards. (Though they still took Ivar and Elsie for an overnight, bless their hearts, so I could rest with just the baby to care for.) The whole Groves family is gathering this afternoon to read our prayers and thanksgivings from last year, and I am crushed to be missing it. I love that tradition so much.

But here I sit, sore and achy and in bed. And only because I feel so all around cruddy, I can handle having to lay here. (Though when my tylenol wears off I will get the shakes and sweats again...)

I'm just realizing I have nothing really of substance to say at the moment. Except that I seem to be looking for pity for feeling so ill! That's terrible. So I'm going to offset my complaining with some glorious pictures of the hoar frost we woke to on Monday morning, plus an awesome video of Ivar and Elsie sledding all by themselves. I had gone in the house to feed Hattie and when I went back out to look for them I found them living it up on this teeny little hill. Oh I love them so much.
sledding 2016 from Becca Groves on Vimeo.

the groves family best of 2015:

It was only as I looked through the pictures from 2015 that I remembered this was they year Rory incubated two eggs in the downstairs bathroom and successfully hatched them. I couldn't believe that happened within this year. And that this was the year we tried to sell bee-friendly flower seeds. Also notable was that Rory started blacksmithing and we got our first apple harvest. Most definitely 2015 will be remembered as the Year of the Barn and the year we finally got honey from our bees. And obviously topping the list, 2015 will go down as the year Harriet Joy joined our family.

This is still my favorite way to process the end of a year. Sometime I'll share how I go through all our pictures...because it's actually a system that I find really enjoyable. So much happens in a year and I often have forgotten about half of it until I look through the thousands of pictures we have on the computer.

Here's a look at a few other Best Of's from years past. And soon I will share pictures with you of what will certainly be the Best Purchase of 2016.\

2016 is sure to be a good time.

the force awakens

I got to go see Star Wars with these fine kids, their folks and my uncle Mark. My parents stayed home with my three kids and Svea. Thanks Mom and Dad! Jedd and Rory purchased the tickets days in advance and apparently read the map wrong so our seats they thought were in the last two rows were actually in the front two rows! Whoops! The kids sat in the second row, leaving the first row seats for the rest of us. This theatre had the reclining chairs so that by the time I had my seat back it felt as if I really was laying on my back, gazing into a galaxy far, far away...

It turned out fine and I really enjoyed the movie. I hadn't read a thing about it, so every bit was a surprise and super fun. I didn't even know Harrison Ford was in this one! Ha! After the movie I took these five in the minivan with Uncle Mark to Cub Foods where they used The Force to get me to buy them peanut butter cup ice cream. The force is strong with these kids. And man I love being their aunt so much. It was so fun to have some time to hang out just with them. I love that I can remember each one of them as babies and toddlers...and now it's so fun to see who they are growing up to be. I love each one to pieces.

acting out the nativity story

Mom put me in charge of directing the christmas pageant this year. It's always a precarious task with lots of expectations and emotions to sort through. This year I had to figure out how two girls could be Mary, a dilemma that often ended in tears in my own childhood. This year we had a Mary switch up during Angels we have Heard on High in order to accommodate both Mary's. We also had a Frozen princess visit the baby Jesus, as well as two firefighter helicopters from Fire and Rescue. 

We sang The Little Drummer Boy with Grandma Margaret and played the drums on our legs, there was a flute and keyboard duet by Mary 1 and the Wise woman and this year's surprise highlight was Simon playing the Star Wars theme song just after I read the portion from Matthew telling of the star that led the wise men to the babe. 

Harriet's baptism

Harriet was baptized when my brother and his family was in town. It was a really nice morning that included Sunday worship at the church we all grew up at, family pictures, a little luncheon and her super special baptism service led by her grandpa Paul. We had promised Elsie that she could wear her Frozen dress for the baptism as a compromise because she wanted to wear it the whole morning but we knew she needed to wear something a little less spectacular for family pictures. But it was fitting, I thought. Baptism is all about proclaiming that we recognize that Harriet is God's kid and we promise to raise her to know her Creator, hear His voice and to know Jesus as her Savior. She is a daughter of the king...which makes us all princes and princesses. 

This blog as become so fun for me to look back at Ivar and Elsie's special milestones. Here is the post I wrote for Elsie's baptism. And the post I wrote about our decision to have our babies both baptized and dedicated.

harrington family christmas

Based on my pictures from our five days together, it would seem we sledded most of the time. But actually, I just recognizing that I have a thing for sledding pictures. They're colorful, bright, happy and it appears that I have taken more pictures from the two times I was with the kids when they went sledding than all the other events. (But don't worry Mom! I have more and I'll post them next...)

You may have noticed that when my brother and his family come to town we stop everything and hang out. It's the best. I love that family so much, and soak up every second together. And now that my kids are getting a little older I have the joy of watching them interact with their cousins. And their cousins are so good to them. They helped them while sledding, played camping, included them while playing jailbreak and I am so grateful for every one.

I decided to call this slight change of elevation in our field Aunt 'n' Uncle Mountain because it required an aunt or an uncle to get each kid's sled moving in the right direction. :)

groves family christmas

2015 was a HUGE year for the Groves clan. Jack graduated high school and started at Evangel University. Madi graduated college and married Chace. Sara released one incredible new album and Troy is breaking fundraising records for International Justice Mission. Our family had a new baby and built a new barn. Kirby, Toby and Ruby got a new puppy. Marlene and Madison celebrated 50 years of marriage. And Josie got her drivers license!

Jack is super talented at making videos and put this one together after our annual Stocking Day (full details here) on Christmas Day. This video is an awesome visual of how family-centered that day really is. Be sure to watch for Hattie on the couch near the end, and all the visitors she has as the rest of us were packing up.